Alright We Need More Jokes

[Anglesachse]

This one is for Wagon, and all the rest of you navy bods

 

[Wagon]

My favourite moment out there on the great blue.

USCG: Radio check
My Captain: Loud and clear over
USCG: What is your position?
My Captain: Say again over.
USCG: What is your position?
My Captain: In a dumpster behind the 7-11 in Freshwater City.
USCG: (silence) no reply.

 

[Sarg]

 

[Ned]

Reminds me of the bad mama in 'Kindergarten Cop'...

 

[reddevil1111]

That looks like a Berretta 92fs see the scalloped slide? But the mag and the base has a strange swell to it. and the trigger guard looks more like one for a sig sauer p-220. And that gun is kicking a LOT for a 9mm.
Did they make a .40 in the 92 frame? anyone know that gun? yeah joke is ok but the gun has me stumped.

 

[Jimmy1]

It should not be kicking with that blank in it, well not that bad, and they have way too much flash.
I think its a standard 9 mm.

 

[Wagon]

Ummm. Betty White is something like 106 years old. Wouldn't a BB Gun knock her on her ass. Kick? How can you guys tell?

 

[Sarg]

Now, Wagon, you know that she is only 105..........and a half! Don't care what kind of gun it is, just don't let her point it at me.

Sarg

 

[Wagon]

Speaking of Chuck Norris. Anyone ever see the fight between him and Bruce Lee. The story is and you can see it in the fight. Ole Chuck was being a bit more serious than he should have been. Then Bruce opened up a whole corner shop of yum yum noodle woop ass. Chuck ended up having his foot almost broken off and a broken arm. I am of the understanding that it was for real.....no movie magik.

 

[Sarg]

Speaking of older women:

Who you callin' ugly, ugly? I seem to remember this place down in Houston, or was it Mobile? Hmmmmmmmmm!

Sarg

 

[Wagon]

Yeah, I think I've seen that in Houston. There is a very strange highway culture around that city. Whorehouses, titie bars, steak and shrimp houses, gun shops, strange hick bars, and giant cowboy boot shops. Lived in Texas for 5 years.
You can see how addicting it can get. Take a drive, buy some cowboy boots, eat a steak and shrimp dinner, go to a tittie bar, follow that up with a shag, buy a gun and go get drunk at the hick bar. Not necessarily in that order. But it is best to stop at the gun shop prior to the hick bar.

They did a study on what people say just prior to wrecking their car. Put a recording device in allot of cars.

In 95% of the car crashes "Oh Shit" was the most heard statement

with the exception of Texas. Where in 92% percent of the car crashes "Hold my beer and watch this!" was heard the most.

 

[Barberian]

One of the best quotes I know.