I realised I space out a lot. Sometimes I don't realise I'm doing it. It's like I'm just gone. I realised the last therapy session, my eyes just shifted away from my T and I was just staring into space. I remember I could still see her lips moving and I know she was talking but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I heard the first few words and then it just faded and I just didn't know what she was saying. She stopped talking and had this weird expression on her face. I hope she didn't think I was being rude. It wasn't for very long though, I remember I started rubbing my neck and I turned to look at her and she just carried the conversation as if it didn't happen. I'm starting to wonder if I'm dissociating? We weren't talking about anything traumatic so I don't know what set it off. It's nothing too serious, usually I just space out for a while then I come back. There have been times in my life where I've spaced out for more than a few minutes and people have had to yell at me and wave their hands in front of my eyes so I would snap out of it. I never thought it was related to trauma because I thought I just daydreamed a lot. It's weird though because I never can remember what I was thinking or what was happening when I spaced out.
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Am I Dissociating?
- Post starter wolfie205
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ashdawn8287
Platinum Member
I get like this sometimes too.
I developed as many grounding techniques as possible and with lots of annoying practice lol. I really had to force it. I don't space out nearly as much now. I developed multiple grounding techniques because you never know what is going to happen so if I do start spacing out I use whatever one applies to the situation, usually in public it is counting things and name colors in the room while deep breathing (so no one can tell what I am doing). My concentration has gotten a lot better. Or i pop a mint in my mouth and focus on the mint flavor.
This is mainly a worksheet that therapist use for grounding techniques. Talk to your therapist about how to develop them. Maybe print this out and share it with her. Just a suggestion.
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Here is another link for relaxation.
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Here is some ideas on how to ground.
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For me it was so hard at first. I looked at the stuff and thought it was stupid, but it was getting to the point where I had no other choice. I spent all summer learning about relaxing and grounding.
I developed as many grounding techniques as possible and with lots of annoying practice lol. I really had to force it. I don't space out nearly as much now. I developed multiple grounding techniques because you never know what is going to happen so if I do start spacing out I use whatever one applies to the situation, usually in public it is counting things and name colors in the room while deep breathing (so no one can tell what I am doing). My concentration has gotten a lot better. Or i pop a mint in my mouth and focus on the mint flavor.
This is mainly a worksheet that therapist use for grounding techniques. Talk to your therapist about how to develop them. Maybe print this out and share it with her. Just a suggestion.
Link Removed
Here is another link for relaxation.
Link Removed
Here is some ideas on how to ground.
Link Removed
For me it was so hard at first. I looked at the stuff and thought it was stupid, but it was getting to the point where I had no other choice. I spent all summer learning about relaxing and grounding.
Wolfie, It does sound like classic dissociation. I also get this, until I started therapy I had no idea I was even doing it. With me I can have different levels of it, it also seems to happen more when I am stressed or unwell.
It is a natural self defence mechanism that in my experience I used to cope with the abuse. It is an extremely effective survival technique that with me has become habitual.
There is another thread on here which explains more about dissociation.
Why not talk to your therapist about it if you trust him/her enough, if you have difficulty talking about it what helps for me is to write down what I want to say and get them to read it. It is also a lot quicker too, as you don't spend time, like I tend to do, building up the courage to say what I want and the session is nearly over!!
It is a natural self defence mechanism that in my experience I used to cope with the abuse. It is an extremely effective survival technique that with me has become habitual.
There is another thread on here which explains more about dissociation.
Why not talk to your therapist about it if you trust him/her enough, if you have difficulty talking about it what helps for me is to write down what I want to say and get them to read it. It is also a lot quicker too, as you don't spend time, like I tend to do, building up the courage to say what I want and the session is nearly over!!
WillyKat
Diamond Member
I was going to say about the same thing as cavy just said. Bringing it up with your therapist is a good opportunity to develop skills for dealing with it. If you therapist notices you're drifting out, s/he can gently bring you back and get you grounded.
ashdawn8287
Platinum Member
Speaking of this, I started to dissociate today when my fiancee and I were fighting (his mom snooped threw my personal belongings including my trauma workbook and therapy diary and I found out on the anniversary of my sexual abuse), we have been fighting all week. We are okay though. I decided to revert back to dissociation and in the middle of it I was like NO you have worked way TOO hard to go back to old habits. I ended up turning it into a deep meditation. It was a very weird experience, but it was well. I have been trying to meditate since I started yoga 2 months ago and it finally happened. Sorry, just thought I would share. :)
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It's a little weird because I don't really notice when I'm dissociating and we weren't even talking about the trauma. I would hate for her to think that I was being rude or just ignoring her. I don't even think my sexual abuse was that traumatising, it was just a few times and it's all a blur to me. Which makes it even harder to know when I'm being triggered or what I'm being triggered by... I might talk to my T about this. Thanks for the replies though!
ashdawn8287
Platinum Member
Yeah I use to downplay my sexual abuse, like yours in was "not a big deal" and it happened when I was 4 years old and I am 26 years old now, but it is a big deal and it was because of the impact it has had on my life. I figured out I have every right to feel what I felt and express my feelings of the abuse. I would mention all of that to your therapist ;). You will get through it. Remember to take baby steps and go at your own pace.
I spent a week writing down my triggers. I realized shame, guilt, blame, fear, doubt, sadness, anger, no self esteem, no confidence any thing that triggered those feelings or if I were put into a position and felt those things, they were indeed directly related to the abuse itself, and that is when I realized, yes that did happen and yes it is a big deal and yes I have every right to express my feelings. Just my experience. Take care and be nice to yourself and don't rush it. You are a work in progress.
I spent a week writing down my triggers. I realized shame, guilt, blame, fear, doubt, sadness, anger, no self esteem, no confidence any thing that triggered those feelings or if I were put into a position and felt those things, they were indeed directly related to the abuse itself, and that is when I realized, yes that did happen and yes it is a big deal and yes I have every right to express my feelings. Just my experience. Take care and be nice to yourself and don't rush it. You are a work in progress.
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