Am I Ever Going To Trust People Or Feel Safe?

[wolfie205]

I've been struggling a lot with my symptoms the past week because I've just started a new job. Of course, the new environment, the workload and the new people to meet haven't made things any easier on me. I know the anxiety, the paranoia, the hallucinations and the hypervigilance is just a part of the PTSD and most times, it's not real but it just gets very hard to be around people I don't trust. I get all these suspicious and paranoid thoughts about me. The usual they're all talking about me behind my back and laughing at me to the really paranoid they did a background check on me and know loads of stuff about me including how I have PTSD and why I have PTSD. They know all about my symptoms and they think I'm crazy. I try to rationalise it out with myself, like it's not all true because they've all been really nice to me and my thoughts are irrational but sometimes the thoughts feel so real, I start believing it.

It doesn't just happen at work, it pretty much happens every where I go. Even when I go for my therapy sessions. I don't trust the staff working there or my therapist and her team. I feel like I'm not safe and I can't share too much in case they use the information against me. No matter how nice people are to me, I never believe they are being genuine. I always think people are pretending to be nice and they must dislike me or want to hurt and harm me. Am I ever going to be able to work around people and trust them? Am I ever going to feel safe around people? How do people cope with PTSD while you're around people? Is it just all in my head?

 

[Jezanna]

It can get easier the more familiar your job becomes. You might want to clue your therapist in on what your thinking. They've heard it before and a good therapist will give you techniques to help with your anxiety and hyper vigilance. . Mine taught me grounding techniques which has been a lifesaver.

 

[ptsdsolution]

Yes be kind to yourself, starting a new job is a big deal and a very brave thing to take on board. When feeling vulnerable it is easy to misread situations, a look, a laugh, not looking, no matter what, you can think it is being negatively directed at you-its the difference between reality and perceived reality-2 different people can witness the same event but describe and interpret it differently-hang in there!