Am I Really Weird And Frightening

[Ubacak]

When my (sufferer) SO decided she no longer wanted to be with me it came as enormous shock. Out of desperation I went looking for answers in the lovely emails she had sent me. I highlited the wonderful words she had used and asked her if she had meant them. I explained that I had nowhere else to look but she was deeply offended and said that I was weird and frightening. Am I ?

 

[Kugu]

I don't know if I'd say frightening. It seems a bit over the top though. Like you can't accept her decision.

 

[Dugima]

Nope. She probably just didn't like things she had said in the past being brought up because she wants to move on and worries that reading those e-mails will prevent you from moving on as well.

 

[Omuj]

No. I'm sure lots of people do stuff like that. After a breakup I re-read old stuff especially when someone says they never wanted a relationship or something along those lines. I don't go back and tell them though. When I get dumped I don't make any contact, unless they contact me. And then I don't have much to say, I get pretty closed up.

 

[Lezufub]

Love letters are generally meant at the time they're written. Break ups and divorce tend to nullify them.

 

[Opeh]

I can understand why you'd go back looking for answers and I can also empathise with you ex. It's feels valid from both ends no one can tell someone how they should feel and behave (as long as it's not breaking any laws or the morality code of your country).

I can understand why she might be a little frightened by that. I probably would too. Yet I can see and understand why you'd do that. It's the type of behaviour displayed by someone that loves someone and is desperate for answers. But you see the desperation bit is scary as hell for women especially traumatised women. It means unpredictable, unsafe, and unstable in SOME cases and it's best to be safe than traumatised...again.