- Post starter
- #13
Not much time for naps, but I'm cutting a couple things out of my schedule this week so I don't feel so trapped by it and like I'm always running. I feel like I'm dying. But I doubt a dying person would feel better while going for a run. So, just another version of adrenaline dumping into my system. I had to sort of go up a notch to meet demands of new schedule and it's like my body over-shoots (this sounds similar to bipolar, which I am not...but that sort of thing where increasing my activity can set off a sort of hyper-arousal).
I slept better last night and this evening I took my muscle relaxants, which will help (with slowing down, rest, the pain build-up). I realized I've avoided taking them because, in my current state, I have really been loathing the drowsiness and sluggishness they cause...like my mind or body had to keep going maximum speed and it would just be fighting hard against the medication. It's like my body thinks it's dying and drugged drowsiness will eliminate my chance to fight and stay alert to danger. This is how it feels even though I'm just busy, like lots of people. Exaggerated responses, triggers, I don't know. Just a mess. But today I feel more willing to slow down a little. Helps a lot that I took a couple things off the list so don't feel so pressured to keep charging ahead. It's just hard to cut stuff out and feel like I'm partly disabled some weeks. Just another way I get isolated also, but I just can't do it all. Right now I can only do work, not much extra stuff.
I slept better last night and this evening I took my muscle relaxants, which will help (with slowing down, rest, the pain build-up). I realized I've avoided taking them because, in my current state, I have really been loathing the drowsiness and sluggishness they cause...like my mind or body had to keep going maximum speed and it would just be fighting hard against the medication. It's like my body thinks it's dying and drugged drowsiness will eliminate my chance to fight and stay alert to danger. This is how it feels even though I'm just busy, like lots of people. Exaggerated responses, triggers, I don't know. Just a mess. But today I feel more willing to slow down a little. Helps a lot that I took a couple things off the list so don't feel so pressured to keep charging ahead. It's just hard to cut stuff out and feel like I'm partly disabled some weeks. Just another way I get isolated also, but I just can't do it all. Right now I can only do work, not much extra stuff.
