Hi Spirit, Don't worry about over loading me with dreams. I do this for a hobby (as well as healing purposes) and it's not bothersome to me in anyway. It might take me a day or two to get to it but I'm real happy to help.
On a wooden ship, like a pirate ship but not! There are friends on there with me from high school, people who I have not seen since I left. There is an uneasy feeling of competition, not sure what the competition is about just a feeling! Arrr, perhaps the feeling is over a particular male. I think the male in question is someone from my past, not sure? I sense I know him, there is some history between us but it has faded. This male is being overly friendly with some of my old friends from school and there are famous people here (again) they are also paying an interest in him. I feel I am just in the background.
**** Boats are used for fishing, entertainment and relaxation. You are the boat and your feeling lost. Also, your ignoring certain parts of yourself that needs looking into. Be assertive and don’t stand in the background.
****This is going to get hard to explain and I hope you can understand this part.
The man is your animus (the unconscious masculine trait within you) The uneasy feeling of competition is with yourself. Feelings of ambivalence about “Am I good enough” versus “No I’m not good enough” so this is inner conflict going on within you is from your past and possibly up until this moment.
I feel hurt and confused! Why would he behave like that in front of me?
****He is a repressed trait of your personality and you are trying to hurt yourself.
There is a lot of moving around on the ship, moving people, moving furniture. The boat is anchored in the middle of the ocean, the water is calm and the boat is still.
**** Your anchored in the middle of the ocean would indicate that you’re immobile (stuck) and lonely. Calm and still would be stagnate.
People are drinking alcohol, they are getting drunk, I am not! Lots of people leave.
**** The people getting drunk and leaving the entertainment most likely would have been a memory of when you would get drunk in order to leave yourself (dissociate)
There is just myself and two girls and a faceless male left on the boat. Myself and the male need to go somewhere to get something, essential supplies I believe. We have to leave the boat.
We jump into this rather large leather bucket (soft leather) and jump into the water. The leather vessel sinks and we are in the water. I feel a little afraid and panicky, but then I remember to swim. I am okay, I am swimming.
****Leaving yourself would be disassociating, and jumping into a bucket would represent the phallic. In doing this it causes emotions that make you feel like you are sinking (feeling panic) but you realize how to calm yourself out of panic when these type of emotions hit you.
All of this fades and I am under the water and swimming above me there are four whales, a family. They swim down to where I am and we observe each other. One of the whales opens their mouth and I swim inside, I am swimming further and further away from the light, 'oh no how will I get out'! I know the whale does not want me inside of it, it does not want to eat me. The whale is letting me explore inside of him. I look up and I see a a distant light. There is a rush of water and I am lifted outside of the whale through its blow hole.
****The family of whales would represent you at various ages in your life. Swimming into the whale and observing it would indicate your trying to discover yourself. Then when you swim into its mouth you realize you have lost yourself (abuse) but now you are soul searching within yourself to heal the pain. When light starts to shine on the darkness, the truth will be seen. Emotions thrush you outside of a hole, maybe in ecstasy. (This does have an undertone of sexuality to it)
Back on the surface and swimming over to the boat. Back on the boat! Two girls, me and the guy. Competition feeling again. One of the girls wants to hurt me and get me. She is on the water in a small wooden rowing boat. She is saying hutful things to me as she gets closer to the boat that I am on. I know I have to protect myself. If I let her get the better of me I will be in trouble.
****After doing some soul searching you surface to reality and your the lonely boat again. Inner conflict and this time you want to hurt yourself. Self-loathing, criticism, dissatisfaction, and disapproval, etc.
This is where I feel disturbed in the dream....
I dive into the water, a very strong dive (I am a very strong swimmer and used to love to dive, it reminds me of this) a jump high into the air and arch my back, head down and dive deeply under. She is under waiting for me. We wrestle, she is trying to drag me down deep, I know I will not have enough oxygen to go that deep and be able to re-surface.
****This reminds me of two animals going at it out of instinct (Kill or be killed). The arching of the back and the strong dive (attack) you are trying to kill this characteristic of yourself that causes you to feel uneasy, ignored and in competition.
I have to stop her! I grab a hold of her and almost throw her into a box, which is embedded in the rocks (still under the water) she is struggling to break free. I am pushing her in the box; I can just see her hair floating outside of the box. I grab her out and kick as hard as I can to get us both back to the surface. I rest her on the boat, she is lifeless, like a rag doll. She is alive and I am grateful for that. I speak to her and tell her why I had to do it. I know she will leave me alone now but I feel guilty for scaring her.
****While having this inner battle with yourself you manage to box up this negative aspect of yourself. While you are pushing her you see her hair floating and hair generally represents ideas. Your idea to save her is to let her rest on you (take you over at a later date, take advantage of you when your feeling weak.) and what a mistake that was.
She needs to be destroyed, but you’re not ready to part with her yet. The constant battle within you is irritating, but it’s what you’ve known and lived with for many years. To kill her would mean these character flaws would have to change. We don’t like change because it is uncomfortable to seek out new ideas and try new things.
The dream looks like the beginning of some healing. Even though the whale has some undertone of sex, it also has the feel of soul searching which will heal you. I think that "Jonah and the Whale" fits part of this story.
Whales inner wisdom:
· Creator of the Cosmos
· Having the ability to convert raw matter into stars, planets, etc.
· Freeing the SOUL from the physical body - (This makes sense with your dream)
· Controlling rainfall on Earth
· Using the vibrational energy of song to heal
· Assisting humans in finding their soul's song (Whales help heal humans and so do dolphins)
· Soul memory
· Seeing the unseen
· Teaching the ability to seal soul fissures and energy leaks
Most dreams have more than one meaning and I hope this helps you.
