Supporter And Also Suffer From Secondary Ptsd

[Karebear369]

Hi. I am a supporter of someone with PTSD. We have been in a relationship for 2 years. I Love her dearly and want to be there to support her in any way I can. It has also been really hard on me and I suffer from secondary PTSD. It took me a while to find this forum and I am grateful to be here and to know we are not suffering alone.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Welcome to the forum!

I must confess ignorance to secondary ptsd... I really don't know what that means.

If you're a person walking hand in hand with a sufferer than you are very a strong compassionate individual. I strongly believe that if anything good can come out of my experience, it's that someday I can be someone to walk with another struggling person just as I have 1 woman who has been holding me up for the last 4 years.

Don't ever doubt your value! We need more people like you!

 

[Mim28]

Welcome Karebear! I've only been here a short while myself, people here are amazing and supportive.

 

[Seasounds]

Welcome to this forum! I hope you find it as helpful as I have found it to be! Keep posting.

I am primarily a sufferer, and I have chose mates with trauma, which put me a supporter role, like yourself.

It would be helpful if you shared more specifically, how the relationship is hard on you.

I can share what I have discovered while in relationships. By nature of intimacy, old wounds from either partner can be activated. I found it helpful to:

• See if my partner and I could talk about/resolve our problem ourselves.
• If not, propose counseling or support groups-such as Alanon, as it provides help to live in relationships while wounded.
• If my partner didn't choose some kind of recover, (which mine didn't) I had to decide if I wanted to continue in the relationship, as it was. I didn't, because I was getting more depressed with my mates unpredictable moods.
• If you stay in or leave the relationship, experiment with know that you can let her anger and sorrow be hers, while you are compassionate. Your behavior may trigger your mate, but you ARE NOT the cause of her suffering; her past experiences largely influence and create her emotions an
• Setting boundaries and taking good care of yourself are key to giving yourself the oxygen you need to survive.
• As a sufferer, I have benefited when my partners gave me distance, if I needed it. When I finally felt safe enough to come, I did return, with better skills to deal with was needed help in our relationship.

Good luck!

 

[PhoenixO]

Welcome...I jave found good movement in my own journey in just the short weeks since I found this forum. Props for seeking support and I too am interested in the diagnosis you describe as secondary PTSD. I hope you find the support you need here....

 

[Seasounds]

Sometimes the 'hard parts' of a relationship can be the silence, jealousy, the moodiness, the anger outbursts, no sex, only sex, feeling depressed or anxious regarding living with the situation, or about being abandoned, of feeling not wanted, or being someone too clingy, or who sends more times dealing with triggers rather than working with a solid self esteem from day to day. The exchange of kind respect, mutual enjoyment can dwindle. All of those, I have found hard, in PTSD relationships.

@Mim28, what is hard for you?

 

[Mim28]

Sometimes the 'hard parts' of a relationship can be the silence, jealousy, the moodiness, the anger outb...

Yes to some degree, I think so.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Karebear369]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They help A LOT!!!. I am really only recently unraveling what it means to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from PTSD and I definitely reallize knowledge is power