And My Verbal Skills Go Out The Window...

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi all,

I had a follow up interview today with the intensive trauma therapy group I applied to a few weeks ago. I told the therapist interviewing me that I can barely speak when I get triggered. I say (at most) "I don't feel good" which indicates I am in a bad space.

The therapist told me that the verbal part of my mind shuts down when the emotional part takes over, hence why I can't verbalize much of anything when I get triggered.

So does this happen to anyone else? Do you lose your verbal skills when triggered?

Hugs,
SOL

 

[maddog]

Oh SOL, doI ever!! This is exactly what happens to me, or what has been happening to me of late anyway, in a very distressing and unexpected turn of events and symptoms. I've experienced this many times in the past few weeks, as part of what I am loosely, and very nontechnically, referring to as an internalised panic attack. It's as though everything cognitive and verbal and physical shuts down quite literally and leaves me only with an unidentified, toxic horror of emotion that I can't really name or describe, even after the event when my language has returned.

It's terrifying, yet ever so slightly reassuring to know I'm not alone with what feels like a tumble into the hell of insanity.

Sorry you have to know this reality too. So far, the passing of time and what little I can muster in terms of grounding rationalising thought are the only ways in which I can find my way back from this. Strangely, so far I've not found myself in the direct company of anyone else when it has happened, and so I'm not sure what impact the intervention of another person would have, or how much I would even be able to take this in at the time. I suspect, given how frequently this is happening, that it's only a matter of time before I find out though.

Maddog

 

[OKRADLAK]

Oh....my.....god....yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also get it if I am too tired or work too hard. SOmetimes I just can't speak.

I am really afraid that my brain is going into a bad place. I am losing skills and cannot sleep and they have been looking into neurodegenerative. I think PTSD can actually kill, and not by our own hand.

The not speaking has made me look like a damn fool, I am sure.

 

[Sazza]

Just to say this happens to me alot, it's like I have been muted just physically don't know how to verbalise it's like I go into myself the connection between my brain and feelings is not there.

 

[Deimos]

Wow I'm glad I noticed this thread. I have the same thing happen to me also. I just never put much thought to it. Emotions are so foreign to me that when I get them I'm overloaded. It normally happens with my T and she assumes I'm shutting down but I'm not. She will ask how I feel and I just stare at her, I'll search for words in my head but I come up blank. I just say, " I don't know". The last time it happened she handed me a card with pictures of faces depicting emotions and she said point to one. I just started laughing at how pathetic it seemed. I wonder if writing during these mute episodes will help. For me its not really a non verbal thing but more like I loose my vocabulary so writing would be tough I think.

 

[Srain]

Verbally may be no problem but isn't it funny how written skills can be different??

 

[maddog]

So true Rain. For me, and this may be strange, I sometimes find that writing is the only way I can eventually find words and concepts for the feelings. It's usually very drawn out and rambling, as though I have to slog and stumble my way through a pile of random and disorganised cognitive processing and make a lot of false starts and worthless pieces of narrative before I finally find a way to express what I mean. Still, without the ability to write, I might never manage this at all, because it sure doesn't happen verbally.

T knows this too, and almost always asks me to write about something first, so that we can then discuss it afterwards, by which time I'm more able to. It's rather sad that things are this way, I want badly to find a way to find voice and verbal expression for the things I currently need to hide behind writing to get in touch with, but maybe some day that will change, I don't know.

Maddog

 

[Kb3]

Writing is the only way that I can say what happened to me without minimising it!

 

[VDWngr1355]

I completely shut down as well. It is nice to know a lot of people have this problem.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Thanks for making me feel less alone in this! I have been trying to be more verbal when triggered, but it's just so hard.

 

[VDWngr1355]

I have been trying to be more verbal when triggered, but it's just so hard.

Out of curiosity, how to you push yourself to be more verbal when triggered? I have been having a hard time doing it, any suggestions?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

To be honest with you, I haven't been all that successful at being more verbal. It starts with not isolating when I get triggered. I try to be around people. It's still hard for me to just say "I don't feel good", which everyone knows means I'm having a tough time coping. I guess you could say its a work in progress!