News Anesthesia Awareness Isn't Just In The Movies

[Kb3]

This happened to me and it is the primary reason that I have PTSD. I drifted in and out of paralyzed consciousness throughout a 40 minute op to remove a benign bone tumor in my leg and was fully conscious and screaming bloody murder during the final bit when they used a drill to clean the margins - I thought my leg was being amputated. Of course no one could hear me.

I came around fighting, swearing and crapping myself out of sheer terror and rage. I tried to jump off the operating table while still tied down by a tourniquet when they reversed the paralytics and went from the frying pan into the fire. It took five people to hold me down and my hip was partially dislocated. Someone said something about having a trainee anesthetist and that was my situation - one that was on drugs. He accused ME of being on something and they treated me viciously until the consultant anesthetist came back in and put me back under. They never took me to the recovery room, I woke up in the hallway being brought back to my room. My dislocated hip will need to be replaced and not one of the people involved have ever admitted that it happened.

Three years later I still have nightmares about being stabbed, frozen, butchered and attacked.

 

[anthony]

Sounds quite terrifying...

 

[Kb3]

Yes, it was utterly terrifying, frustrating and completely surprising. I had no idea that you could even wake up under GA, and had never had problems with anesthetics before that. The thing that stays with me is the sounds of my screams reverberating around my body and the panicked sensation of trying to escape and failing. In that moment I wished for death. I was fortunate not to experience pain, but the anxiety of anticipating it cannot be described.

What made it far worse, however, was how badly I was treated post operatively. There is a special place reserved in hell for the surgical team, the nurse anesthetist and scrub nurse in particular, for that. What they did and said to me, and how they covered up what happened afterwards is mind blowing in its cruelty, and will stay with me forever.

 

[anthony]

It seems a common issue with those I have discussed this type of trauma with... put it down to medical malpractice which means higher insurance costs, so they cover-up instead of legitimately helping those affected.

Had several people over the years here with this trauma type. I assimilate it to being buried alive from what I have ascertained from those who have endured this.

 

[Kb3]

Fear of litigation is one factor, professional embarrassment, sanctions from the GMC here in the UK, and good old fashioned paternalism are others. I'm sure there are more, but frankly, that list is discouraging enough.

When I get stronger, I am going to find a way to lobby for more mediation between patients and the medical profession in situations where there has been an error. The current system does not benefit either group, is confrontational and needs to change. In an ideal world no one would lose sight of the fact that a human life has been damaged and that lessons must be learned. I might call it "Campaign for Compassion".

Being buried alive is an accurate description, as is being entombed in a corpse.

 

[Kb3]

I just wanted to say that I just met with and was interviewed by a doctoral student who is doing a dissertation on effective therapeutic methods for Anesthetic Awareness victims.

One interesting thing that came up was the fact that these events are far more common than the medical community will admit to.

I do not say this to frighten people, but to make the point that we are a separate subgroup of trauma, and should be recognized as such. Just because the medical profession has their heads in the sand about how often and how badly they hurt us in this way does not mean that our traumas are any less severe and enduring than any other group of PTSD sufferers.

We deserve accountability and leadership from the anesthetic community on this issue. By not admitting the scope of the problem, anesthetists have obstructed many patients from receiving appropriate counseling in the wake of these horrific medical accidents. To my mind that should be considered a criminal act.

It is not acceptable to say that we were under the influence of drugs and imagined what happened to us. It is not acceptable to abandon us after these events and it is not acceptable to put their careers ahead of the lives and sanity of the patients they have hurt. I would have more accountability from the police if I had been stabbed in an alley or run over in a hit and run accident than I have had from the clinicians who have changed my life forever and that is a disgrace from a profession that has signed an oath "to first do no harm".

 

[anthony]

but to make the point that we are a separate subgroup of trauma, and should be recognized as such.

Whilst I agree anesthesia awareness is a real trauma, and agree it does happen more than we probably know, just like any other trauma where a good proportion go undocumented statistically, WHY though would this need to recognised as a sub-group of trauma? What exactly is a sub-group of trauma to begin with? Trauma is trauma... its defined as either normally expected in the occurrence of life, or abnormal trauma, which is not normally expected to occur. Anesthesia awareness would be abnormal trauma, being its not expected that the person awake during a procedure where they are anesthetized.

 

[Kb3]

I agree that trauma is trauma. The clarification that I am looking for lies within diagnostics. For instance when I was combing through criteria of events that cause PTSD in many trauma sources, I don't ever recall anesthetic awareness being specifically mentioned. If it meets the criteria of traumatic enough to cause PTSD and there is a large pool of people who have been affected by it, then it should be listed just as other trauma causes are, such as combat and rape. The closest category that I can match it to is torture, and that isn't really correct.

The reason why this is important to me is because not only did I not know that it was considered to be traumatic enough to cause PTSD for a long time, neither did the first two therapists that I sought help from. I was not able to articulate what happened to me well enough, and both of them could not comprehend how traumatized I was by it.

This significantly delayed my recovery, and I'm sure that I am not the only one has been affected in this way. There doesn't seem to be much of a defined protocol or research on the best ways to treat it either, and I attribute that to the lack of communication from anesthetists with the therapeutic community. They seem to neither believe that it will happen to their patients nor believe that it's that serious if it does, which in itself is hideously neglectful.

If therapists are getting the message that it is not that serious or prevalent or even having it on their radar, then anesthetic awareness victims are not getting help in an informed and uniform way. That is what I would like to see corrected.

 

[anthony]

Valid point on therapists keeping current.

I don't believe you will really see any specific type of trauma ever attempted to be completely mentioned when referring in the majority of PTSD documentation, because they aim for the majority, and when you compare this against sexual violations and combat based aspects, this is actually so insignificant on the radar statistically speaking, that it doesn't come close to those two prime areas and there immediate off-shoots.

That is like someone from an MVA going on a cause to have MVA recognised in all documentation on PTSD, when overall, "some" are traumatic, "a minority" obtain PTSD from an MVA, as also a "minority" obtain PTSD from sexual, military and even your specific cause, anesthesia awareness.

You must review the full picture and scope of something abnormally traumatic. Because its abnormally traumatic does not mean "every" person, or even a "majority" obtain PTSD as a result of experiencing that abnormally traumatic event, when the facts are actually more in the "minority" for all traumatic events eventuating into PTSD, especially when singular vs. compounded traumatic events.

 

[Kb3]

I don't believe you will really see any specific type of trauma ever attempted to be completely mentioned when referring in the majority of PTSD documentation, because they aim for the majority, and when you compare this against sexual violations and combat based aspects, this is actually so insignificant on the radar statistically speaking, that it doesn't come close.

Fair enough, although one of my points was that A/A statistics are underreported to begin with.

What I would like to see is a global system which reliably and openly reports these events despite medico legal ramifications and an active pursuit of treatment pathways for victims, sharing information between anesthetic professionals and mental health providers.

In other words, the emphasis should always be placed on the patient's experience rather than the individual clinician or hospital's particular legal exposure and the shared goal should be to help the patient as expediently and appropriately as possible.

In the absence of honesty by anesthesia providers and hospitals, I totally agree, there should be a much better level of understanding from the mental health community on how to treat a patient who says they have experienced A/A. This is why I support the purpose of the dissertation that I mentioned in one of my earlier posts.

The internet has been a great tool in educating people about all sorts of issues which had traditionally been kept dirty little secrets by vested interests, and A/A is no different. This is a start, and I have certainly benefitted by it personally, but we won't get the full benefit until our numbers are acknowledged, and accurate information is shared between people who are in a position to prevent this kind of trauma in the first place or really help us if does.

 

[anthony]

Fair enough, although one of my points was that A/A statistics are underreported to begin with.

Agreed... along with every other type of traumatic event, even the major ones. Lets look at just one example, violence against women is a majority category for traumatic discussion, being:

Women's responses to violence - ABS Women's Safety Survey (1996)

• most common action taken was to discuss it with friends (58%) and family (53%)
• 19% of women who experienced physical violence contacted the police
• 15% of women who experienced sexual violence contacted the police
• women who experienced violence from a stranger were most likely to report to police
• women who were assaulted by a current partner were least likely to report to the police.

Just looking at those scary, scary numbers, and what is reported of sexual abuse, then times those reported cases by the estimated non-reported cases, and I think you really want what every advocate group wants surrounding each trama type uniquely.

I honestly do wish you luck though with any ventures you take trying to get better reporting on any front with any type of trauma, because the statistics to date show improvement from the above data, but not greatly.

 

[islandog]

I am a VICTIM of anesthesia "Awareness" . I HATE that phrase, like i'm Shirley Mcclaine or something. "Aware" BS. I was fully awake during an abdominal operation Dec of 2010. I was told I was "dreaming" and "hallucinating" I was drugged quite literally out of my mind in an effort to apply a retro-grade amnesia. I was completely and utterly unbelieved. I must except that my Health Providing Institution was complict in a larger "cover-up".

If I were believed, my PTSD symptoms, would not have developed, (if at all) or would have remained a manageable anxiety disorder. That was not the case, I was completely and utterly failed by a lot of people, who could have saved me long before. It is more common than you think, most cases are not reported, or intentionally misreported. Reputations and Med-Mal insurance premiums are at stake. While under a general anesthesia, few of us experience the actual pain of surgery.

There is NO QUESTION immediate intervention and proper protocols would save a lot of us from developing more severe Comorbid PTSD. Anyway, I am here. I am saying this is my cause of PTSD. It is all to real and valid. I encourage anyone who wants to reach me to try and do so...I'd LOVE to find other victims like me.

That's all for now.