Anger For The Non-angry Type

[zeropoint]

Anger is still a fairly new emotion for me to feel and allow myself to have. Growing up, my father was the only one who "had permission" to get angry and act out, and the rest of us were just expected to internalize everything. I have done work in therapy on feeling anger in my adult life (I am 32 now) and at least I can let myself feel it now.

Unfortunately, sometimes it's all I can feel, and when a series of traumatic events made my PTSD much worse this year, I started feeling angry most of the time I was in public and a lot of the time in private. I accept this as being normal and healthy though I don't like it. I did have my psychiatrist increase my Zoloft dose slightly, and that has helped me function in a more tolerant way.

But between the trauma of earlier this year and recent trauma (a house fire and other, unrelated stress), the anger is still very much there. I feel like it takes over me at times and I can't think clearly or figure out how to react. I am just trapped in anger.

One problem I am having is finding a way to let the anger out. I have tried screaming before, but I just literally could not make myself scream (Plus I've had bronchitis lately and not much of a voice.) I have tried punching pillows and other soft things. As a writer and artist, I try to channel the anger into something creative, but sometimes I just go further down the spiral. I have not done anything self-harming or harmful to others.

Anybody got any ideas for what to do with all this anger?

 

[Little Flower]

Hi Zeropoint I'm Flower. I'm fairly new to the site. I'm so sorry to hear that ur feeling so angry. There are many forums here. I'm sure many of the members have faced a consuming anger before. In my case instead of getting angry , I usually withdraw. I also love art and find it a good outlet when I do feel angry Something's I just have to lay on the bed n kick my feet like a child throwing a tantrum. It expends a lot of the anger pent up in me I know it sounds silly. But I just let myself throw a fit. I would encourage u to continue with your art and talk with a therapist on positive ways to focus ur anger Search the forums. They are a great support resource
Peace

 

[ghotiff]

Smash bags might help. Place old crockery in a bag, grab a hammer and smash into small pieces. It's destructive (but still safe and controlled).

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi oh my gosh I totally get it. I have real anger issues , sometimes ive been totally out of control. I've had every therapy going for it but still unfortunately have this real issue that has sometimes been frightening for others to witness . I always feel terrible after and wish at the time I'd taken a deep breath and counted to three!!! But as we all know hind sight is a great thing. I go through phases when in ok then phases when I'm not , it's usually worse when I'm overloaded at work , stressed and when I have triggers. I find cooking very therapeutic and will throw myself into this hobby when I'm feeling really angry , it helps me to switch off , or I go for a very long run but personally I love zumba , it's a fast crazy exercise that I can totally throw myself into and let out my frustrations , it's that or else I would be an alcoholic and i really don't think that would be ideal !!! There's lots of reasons that cause these emotions , and as much as I try to justify them I know and accept that my behaviours are totally unacceptable , I try very hard not to lose it and at the moment I'm going through a not so bad time in respect to my anger , but who knows how long that will last for!!!! Good luck x

 

[Little Flower]

Something I instinctively did upon my c filing for divorce - after I talked to its mom (kinder to me than my family had ever been) - and I realized i would have to fight her also and her money. - I took the figurines she had given me-collector junk - and smashed those teddy bears in the head with a hammer. I just wailed in them. IT told me he would call police. I said go ahead. They are MY things. They'll just laugh at you. After cleaning up after my hoarding sister I have enjoyed throwing away glass stuff by dropping it in the garbage from a ladder. Very therapeutic

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

I smashed every single crockery in my house 3 yeRs ago , at the time it felt great, the aftermath wasn't ! Chipped flooring and not a single piece of crockery left , had to go to charity shops and buy everything again . Wasn't proud of what I did, hated myself for it, was disgusted at my actions but most of all frightened of what I was capable of, thankfully I have calmed down a lot now but still have some anger emotions in me. I do a lot of eft (emotional freedom technique )and when I get to the point I'm going to explode I try to do this technique just for my own sanity . Anger is very ugly emotion in my opinion and that's how I feel when I lose it, ugly, low self esteem and worthless. I hate being angry!

 

[Karen12]

At the beginning, when I was just starting to deal with all the issues and the anger finally came out, I found it helped to hit something else with the pillow rather than punch the pillow. You have to choose your target carefully, obviously. Sometimes I would drive out to someplace remote (I was in college and had roommates so I couldn't do this at home) and yell myself hoarse and beat a pillow against my car. I ended up collapsing in a heap, sobbing and exhausted, but it helped me and hurt neither the car nor the pillow.

 

[Little Flower]

Very cathartic to me at the time. It was a way to overcome the helplessness and hopelessness. Thanx for sharing.

 

[icouldeatthemoon]

I know how you feel... I have always been very quiet, and my childhood was much like you described. We were expected to internalize everything, and my parents never encouraged me to talk about my emotions. As a result, I don't know how to deal with anger now except to cry. In more recent years, I have really figured myself out and I stand up for myself more. But it's the anger that I don't know what to do with! I want to punch a wall or cause physical harm to myself. I am guilty of punching my thighs. I've tried screaming and punching pillows, but i don't like screaming and pillows are too soft... I'm going to have to try hitting stuff with the pillow, I never thought of that.

My angry episodes only happen occasionally and usually they are heavily spurred on (my boyfriend can really push my buttons). And if he's home, all I can do is bawl. I would leave to cool off but I don't want him to think I'm being dramatic...