Anger/ rage/ hatred/ resentment as part of PTSD symptoms

[Ecdysis]

WIth most of my PTSD symptoms, I have a relatively clear idea of how to handle them, what to do about them, how to voice them, how to process them, etc.

And then there's the anger/ rage/ hatred/ resentment glob of symptoms...

I find this so hard to deal with.

There's this big layer of shame around it that I "shouldn't" be feeling any of those emotions and that they're "bad" and hence if I have them I'm "bad" too.

Also, I associate the "bad" emotions with the perps and so dealing with "bad" emotions has that particular triggering aspect to it too.

Feeling things like rage/ anger/ resentment also doesn't sit well with the narrative of having been a victim of trauma.

It's such a complicated, tangled mess of contratictory emotions.

Growing up with trauma, I learned to repress these "bad" emotions, but repressing them doesn't make them go away.

How can I allow anger/ rage/ etc to be a normal, valid, healthy response to trauma but prevent it from being something that damages myself and others?

I know the fight response is what helped me survive so much of the trauma, so I feel like I need to honour it. It saved my life, it saved me.

But it's also done a lot of damage. It's like an arsonist that just goes around setting everything on fire.

How do you get yourself out of the fight response into something more healing without denying or vilifying the fight response?

 

[somerandomguy]

How can I allow anger/ rage/ etc to be a normal, valid, healthy response to trauma but prevent it from being something that damages myself and others?

Time and practice. Lots and lots of practice. Do you have a preferred method of cooling down? If so, do that. Over and over.

 

[Gigi]

Diagnosed w/ C-ptsd last year at 71. The anger and resentment am feeling for dead abusive/raging mother, violent ex-husband and others, whom took advantage of my fawning/freeze personality is almost overwhelming. Therapist helped to a point but progress stopped. Read about NARM which believe helps more in present rather than continually revisiting the past. Am so very angry. And sad and hurt. My poor inner children. Grieving for them. My life could have completely different. Wish you the best. This is a difficult journey. Not linear.

 

[Friday]

Feeling things like rage/ anger/ resentment also doesn't sit well with the narrative of having been a victim of trauma

Because victims are all helpless weak ABC XYZ 123 who don't fight back? I, clearly, added some of my own suggestions, but tried to leave room for whatever "the narrative" in your head/heart is. // Whatever the narrative that doesn't allow for anger etc.? >>> Might wanna examine THAT core belief!!! What IS the narrative? Why is it important? ((Honest question, I don't fit the narrative of an abused wife, so I had a HELLUVA time in divorce court, despite documentation out the wazoo. That's ONE possible reason why narrative, or other people's perception, matters. Your reasons? Are probably different.))

More in a bit, I keep getting pulled away & would hate to lose this draft -again!- to the etherFairies.

 

[Freddyt]

The problem with dealing with anger is - you have to find where it lives.

Ogres (Shrek) and PTSD are both like onions. They have layers. And you have to go through the layers one at a time to find where the anger is. Doing therapy for it isn't fun either. Because usually its righteous anger, things you should truly be angry about.

 

[enough]

the term “righteous anger” defies my grock. Is it better anger when the people who are aware of it thjnk its to be expected anger based on circumstances? what people? what circumstance?

Anger is anger and the fact it exists in anyone kind of states the obvious that they think it is righteous. I think i am in my lane and well substantiated in my anger when i am angry, isnt everyone?

anger is anger

 

[Rose White]

For me I'm realizing that anger and hate are not distasteful in themselves, but rather *chronic* anger and hate, which are useless and hurtful to me. Short term? I use anger and hatred to motivate sometimes. I like knowing that feelings change and dissipate. I don't like when feelings hang around for too long.

 

[Ecdysis]

Having do deal with stressful car repair issues that are the fault of the dealer/ mechanic, today. Seething anger is my go-to response, as is so often the case. Trying to regulate. Trying not to slip into the fight response. Trying to find a more conciliatory and constructive approach. Worried that I'm being screwed over tho and that anger may be the best response.

 

[Freddyt]

Anger is anger and the fact it exists in anyone kind of states the obvious that they think it is righteous. I think i am in my lane and well substantiated in my anger when i am angry, isnt everyone?

Maybe "justifiable anger" is a better term.

Righteous is a term used by those afflicted with religion.....

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

term used by those afflicted with religion....

First time hearing the words afflicted and religion go hand in hand. Makes one think and unpack.

 

[Freddyt]

First time hearing the words afflicted and religion go hand in hand. Makes one think and unpack.

There are many things in life that are important. But even the book says "all things in moderation"........many forget that's part of all things.......

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

But even the book says "all things in moderation"........many forget that's part of all things.......

This is true.

How does one define moderation ? Anger in moderation is permissible?

Righteous anger - sometimes essential perhaps -and so is justifiable anger.
Eg- righteous anger toward injustice....in the case of @Ecdysis - toward the mechanic.