Angry Again

[deborah l. boylan]

Hang in there William. Just remember, it takes time for the meds to catch up with you. Its not instant happiness but they will help.

 

[william]

Well once again, I find myself stretching for some nerves. Xanax not working, kids loud, my son woke everyone at 0600, and I want to fracking scream. I am trying to fight the angry feelings, and they seem to be trying to take me over. I would like for once for everything to go correctly, but then I woke the frack up and realized that I have 4 children. I feel like I could just throw my hands up and say, thats it kids, destroy it all I don't give a shit any longer. However, I know I can't do this either. Now it is 0945 and I have a house to clean, because they destroyed it and the more I think on it the madder I get. If I could just get myself under control, and have 5 minutes of peace, JUST FIVE DAMN MINUTES.

 

[Zipperhead]

I just finished cleaning the house here. Everything except Max's room. I don't know what to tell you. I'm going to start scheduling cleaning time into Max's schedule. Maybe if he realises he has to clean up the mess, he'll be more careful not to make one to begin with. As far as the noise goes, my therapist says "breathe in, count 5 breathe out. Really? Maybe head phones.

 

[Jimmy1]

LMAO Zip,

Mate, the deal in this house is that until they hit 16, they have to clean their room whenever we say. The same goes for their washing. Up until they are 16, it gets washed and folded for them. Then after that, if they choose to be pigs and smell then its up to them. Occasionally we will tell them to clean their rooms.
As for food though, that's a different subject. Foods bring vermin and disease.
The music, well I have told the kids that some days I can't handle the sensory input of really loud music. So during the school week its loud, but not wall rattling loud. One day of the weekend I let them go flat out.

And yes, headphones would be awesome.

I remember seeing the noise cancelling headphones at the range. They block out only the gunfire.
I would so much love anti teenage headphones.

 

[william]

Yeah

 

[Anglesachse]

"Anti Teenage headphones", my nipper is 11, I hope they are on the market within the next year

 

[Ernie1]

Angry again...ready to rip somebody's head off..I hate this..angry all the time and nowhere to direct it. God I hate this. Just rambling had to vent.

 

[Jimmy1]

See Ernie, that be the problem. Anger comes from all the good and bad stress. It wells up then 'WHAM'!!!!
The military taught you to use it and that it was fine to be in a bad mood. You could take it out at PT or on some other private who was being an wanker (if he did not beat you back), lol.

I still get angry, but not as much. You have to learn to control the environment. Find what is pissing you off, i.e. the basic good and bad stress and try to remove some.

Check out Anthony's PTSD cup explanation.

Link Removed

My new therapist has got me to write down all the things that are pissing me off and that I am unhappy with every night before bed. This way it is out and I don't ponder them all night. Then you have to ask yourself, 'Can I do anything about that right now', the answer is generally NO.

This also gives you a clean head for the morning.

For example, my kids used to piss me off first off in the morning, so I had to find a way to steer clear of them until necessary. Otherwise my stress cup would have been not far from the top and it was only just the start of the day.

I go to the gym every morning, or the pool. It lowers that level in the cup too.

However; some mornings the cup is just overflowing from the minute you open your eyes, that is ok too, it happens.
The big thing to remember is that its ok to be angry, just don't blow it by doing something stupid. And try to make sure its all proportionate. I have probably mentioned this before, but someone cutting you off in traffic on an ok day would get the finger and probably a curse under your breath. On a bad day you want to chase him down and crumple not only his car but his head.
The same goes with a three year old. She did not pick her toys up. On a good day, it is a stern word, on a bad day when the cup is full might give her a smack.

Hope I am making sense.

So its ok to vent and be angry mate, you just have to find what is filling the cup up.

 

[Ernie1]

Thanks, I know it makes sense, but ....always a butt....I still tend to keep the anger bottled up until that cup is overflowing. Luckily I am not the blow up type, for the most part. The anger just eats away a bit at a time. I think thats the problem, finding away to let go of the anger, I know keeping it inside ain't the healthy thing to do. Thanks again for the advise Jimmy, still learning how to cope with things in my head.

 

[reddevil1111]

My wife picks fights as i lay me head on the pillow. She knows how upset I will get and I wont sleep at all that night. Its her way of kicking me in the nuts without having to kick.
I try to just relax and let it go. Or I go to bed early or late so she cat set me off. Like Jimmy said, know what dose you in and avoid or work on coping. I still suck at it. But you have to try.
I hold it in and blow up. And blow up and blow up. We all do it differently. But its no fun not being in control. Whoever decided ptsd is not a defence for murder is full of it. If they had ptsd they would understand why it could happen.

 

[Ned]

Hey Dan, they are good at that. Glad you're still lurking. Got an African pussy photo for you as soon as I can work my way round this re-mangled site. Stay true..

 

[Wagon]

I'm lost in the eternally blame game. I get blamed for everything and accept it. Then when I try to explain my feelings. The other party starts to cry and says "what about my feelings". Right there with you Dan. Lose , lose and then lose again. Geting mighty sick of this.

Wagon