Anniversary

[xanabilify]

Coming up is an anniversary of a traumatic event that I experienced one year ago. I've been really stressed out about it and I've been having recurrent nightmares and hallucinations.

- I'm constantly on edge
- I'm having horrible anxiety
- I cant leave the house on my own
- I've been quiet and isolated
- I sleep with a knife and alarm under my pillow

And this is just coming up to the anniversary, so I'm dreading what I'm going to be feeling on the actual day. Does anyone have any tips? :(

 

[josephc]

One thing about anniversaries the I try hard to remember is that they mark an event in the past not present.

That said I am just returning to normal from one. It eats me up for almost a month. My anniversary that just past is from 40 years ago. I still am here. Survived it for another year.

Mine does suck less over time as it pass by year over year.

 

[KrispyKreme]

I do not really have any tips. Sorry.

Sending you all the support I have and then some :)

You are not alone.

Stay strong.

 

[therisa]

Xanability, is there anyone close to you, which you feel comfortable around? Who can offer support and understanding, what you're going through? Even if, this means a phone call to them, they don't have to be physically next to you. For myself, last July 1st, marked the seventh anniversary of an event that nearly killed me, from the blowback, by a family member. I have a friend, who offers me, support on that day, should I need it. And I have taken him up, on his offer, a few times.

 

[KatB]

It seems that this time this year, anniversary reminders reek a lot of old emotions/reactions from our past traumas. I know what you are going through and I find that I am experiencing the same reactions as you(except sleeping with the knife part).

I find it very difficult to find someone I can be honest with without having their judgments first. So many good things have been happening to those around me, I just seem to shut down and not say a word. But, I do have rare and by rare, I mean old/close friends, that I can talk and just be heard or given a hug.

I would just say find someone you are very close with like an old friend, family member, etc and explain to them, in short terms, what's up. Sorry, can't think of anything else.

 

[jesse]

(((((Xanabilify)))) we are all here on this forum to support you if that is any consolation? It is a positive thing to me that you are aware of how the anniversary date is affecting you.

I can empathize and feel compassion for the pain you are experiencing. It took me about twenty years to realize that for some reason the month of June sets me off. It is an anniversary date but I cannot remember the specifics because I was so young. It took 3 breakdowns over 15 years all happened in June plus more stuff to understand it was some type of anniversary. I think having that knowledge helps but not sure what advice to give about what to do.

Can you go away with a friend that day or week to do something fun? Take a trip to a nearby city or countryside whichever you prefer that sort of thing? Maybe that sounds dumb but it may be better than being alone and suffering?

 

[jesse]

How are you doing Xan?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I really feel for you with the anniversary reaction. My husband of thirty six years died four months ago. On the day he died each month I have a real hard time.

I remember a time when I slept with a knife under my pillow. My heart goes out to you. I think it is important not to be alone on that day. I think if you go for support you will feel better. You have to take care of yourself.

I hug one of my husbands shirts on the day it happened. It comforts me. I have people I can reach out to and go to for support and it makes a huge difference. I hope you find some way to help comfort yourself. Big hugs.

 

[jesse]

Wow Gizmo that is so horrible I am sorry about your terrible loss. I am so sorry...

 

[therisa]

Gimzo, I understand, about sleeping with a knife under the pillow, for I did it for 8 months, after my mom's brutal rejection of me, as her eldest daughter, instead of her eldest son. Today, I sleep with Star, Venus and Squeak, by my side, during the night.