Annoying Neighborhood

[Tanishq]

Yesterday they broke my sleep around 11:15 pm. I was sleeping this time and I was woke up with loud high pitch voice of neighbor uncle. I went into living room, he was talking. This man talks a lot and once you give him a word, he will keep rolling on. I have tolerated him so much. But yesterday night it caught me and I directly told him next time I don't want any talk around sleeping time.

I find it very annoying when he comes at our place and starts lecturing with high voice. I have to close my room's door. I don't sit there, but I have seen talking all the time with my dad. I have listened to him few times and I get the impression he loves lecturing other. Showing how smart he is and helpful he is.

I found him rude yesterday. When I told him this is not the right time to talk with loud voice in someone else's home, he even didn't apologize. He was looking at his wife, my parents and showing face "What this guy is saying?" I felt more embarrassed. Thank goodness, he went away immediately.

I get angry when I meet people like him. I can't bottle my anger. Any advice to tackle this kind of people?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Jaret, I do not have any advice for you. I struggle with my family too. It is a very hard thing the lack of respect for other people. I know that staying calm produces better results. I wish you the best. It sounds like your relative does not know about boundries. I wish you the best on this one. I feel for you. He sounds rude.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Jaret,

I am sorry you have a selfish, self involved and self important uncle. It is very selfish to make a noise when others sleep and not apologising probably shows that he has no concept of others peoples needs.

You did the right thing and seemed to handle it really well. Maybe you could calmly do that again if he repeats the behaviour ever.

Do you think its also his lecturing and self importance that bothers you?

:hug:

 

[Tanishq]

Thank you gizmo and Abstract.

He is not my relative. I think it is our Indian culture. We call elders granddad or uncle. As a matter of giving respect to them.

Abstract. Yes, it's his lecturing which annoys me a lot. There is some limit of discussing over topic. but what he will do, change the topics, talk about irrelevant things. from there he will start showing that he has got so many ideas. This reminds me of my aunt who always go for advice non stop.

He doesn't care that others are tired of him or not. Just he will go on.

I remember my dad gave him news paper and when he gave back that newspaper, it was very bad. Many folds and didn't apologize for it.

this man has fought many times with some other neighbors.

 

[Tanishq]

I felt more embarrassed because it was actually responsibility of my parents. But both are out of this world. They let others rule themselves to some extent. My parents should have stopped from being so loud.

When I was telling my neighbor about this bothering, my parents spoke nothing. They acted like whatever he was doing was alright. :mad:

 

[Tanishq]

Abstract thank you for telling me about staying calm. I was angry,too. I had to walk away after telling him, what if I go more mad and make a mess which I find very hard to handle later.

thank you for hugs gizmo and Abstract. I am felling better now. :hug:

 

[Abstract]

Hi Jaret,

This man sounds very annoying and selfish. I too don't like arrogant, patronising people. I actually don't think you did anything wrong and it is normal to be annoyed by what you describe. I understand that it went against what your culture says is OK and that it should have been your parents. I think its just fine that you stood up to him when your parents didn't. Societies rules are sometimes wrong and unhealthy.

If I can I like to stay in control as I always feel the other person has won in some way if I don't but really there isn;t anything wrong with just pointing out that someone is being selfish. :hug:

 

[Tanishq]

Abstract Guess what? My bio mother thinks I did wrong and that neighbor is right. I told her it's parents responsibility. As I was sleeping and it was bedtime. It's about common sense, you can't talk with your loud voice at anyone's place.

She went ahead and said that uncle will teach me something. I told her, people who keep talking all the time seldom manages to make sense. I am not afraid of him and I will tell him clearly it is not good thing to make noise during bedtime. I knew my bio mother is not better than selfish people.

Thank you Abstract and gizmo. You told me some other things. Such as personal boundaries and validating. It helped me so much to stay calm. I have moved on from this safely. I am feeling good.

:hug: