Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Intrusive Thoughts - Ending a 10 Year Relationship

[CazzTheGeek]

I hear you. That's bad behaviour, no wonder it affected you. And it sounds like it's making an awkward situation worse. "Fuel on the fire" so to speak. And making you worry, then calling you at your friends wanting to talk about it. Yep, I get it.

How the hell am I meant to be ok with all this or even cope when everyday I'm living in what used to be a nightmar, now reality.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

I am very sorry Cazz. My ex husband cheated on me with a friend and I remember that terrible pain when I saw them togethers.
In that moment I was thinking that I would never forget him and the pain would never end, but now I have forgotten him in that way. I can see him with his new girlfriend without pain and I think in another person
So stay strong, this pain Will not be forever. I am here to talk

Thank you @Nairobi . Did you have to live together after he cheated and you broke up?

 

[Survivor3]

How the hell am I meant to be ok with all this or even cope when everyday I'm living in what used to be a nightmar, now reality.

It sounds like a very difficult situation for you. Is it possible to not care as much about him? I mean it seems like he's doing what he wants to do but is coming in your room getting clothes and saying that he's going to the shop but then staying out all night. Calling you an asshole . And that's the stuff that needs to be discussed. "Ground rules and Boundaries". Like if he's going to live his life living with you but seeing someone else, he's gotta respect the fact that you have feelings about all this. To lessen the pain for you.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

It sounds like a very difficult situation for you. Is it possible to not care as much about him? I mean it seems like he's doing what he wants to do but is coming in your room getting clothes and saying that he's going to the shop but then staying out all night. Calling you an asshole . And that's the stuff that needs to be discussed. "Ground rules and Boundaries". Like if he's going to live his life living with you but seeing someone else, he's gotta respect the fact that you have feelings about all this. To lessen the pain for you.

It is, I'm only living in the town because of him, his all I had here. And I feel like a fool for encouraging friendship with this women and trying to include her in our lives. All it's got me is heartbreak and depression.

He said on the phone he understands how much it hurts me, I told him he needs to understand everyday I feel like I'm dying inside and going through heartbreak everyday I'm here.

 

[Survivor3]

It is, I'm only living in the town because of him, his all I had here. And I feel like a fool for encouraging friendship with this women and trying to include her in our lives. All it's got me is heartbreak and depression.

He said on the phone he understands how much it hurts me, I told him he needs to understand everyday I feel like I'm dying inside and going through heartbreak everyday I'm here.

Yes I understand cazz. It must be awful for you.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Yeah, I'm crying my eyes out. How someone who used to love you and claims to care about you still, wants you to be happy and OK, continues to do the things that makes you want to die.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Yes I understand cazz. It must be awful for you.

The other thing is his been keeping tabs on me, because I've been on suicide watch. This stopped from today. He hasn't saved a penny for the divorce, all his money is going on him and her. So that's probably going to be my responsibility as well.

 

[Nairobi]

Thank you @Nairobi . Did you have to live together after he cheated and you broke up?

No, but we works on the same place so, although is a Big place and I didnt see him everyday, sometimes I see him with her there, It was really really hard

 

[Nairobi]

The other thing is his been keeping tabs on me, because I've been on suicide watch. This stopped from today. He hasn't saved a penny for the divorce, all his money is going on him and her. So that's probably going to be my responsibility as well.

But the divorce is responsability for both, I mean, is not Fair that you have to pay for It alone, both of you have the same responsability, they Will have to save money for it

 

[Nairobi]

. I'll be able to start looking for a place in four months.

And is not possible for you to go to another place before? I can not imagine how hard should be to see him everyday...

 

[CazzTheGeek]

And is not possible for you to go to another place before? I can not imagine how hard should be to see him everyday...

That's rough, regarding the divorce. He hasn't done ANYTHING. No contact with any solicitor, no nothing. His broke, in overdraft and digs himself deeper by going on dates and hotels etc. I may qualify for help with my share, I'm not sure yet. But I wanted to get the ball rolling a month ago, last time I looked into solicitors without him, he got angry.

I'm registered as mentally disabled, I get benefits but it's not a lot. I'm going without any luxuries so I can afford to move. I've got 2-3 months before I can afford a place and that's if I find a deposit free place. I will be moving closer to friends, but can't do nothing until I've got the money saved.

 

[Nairobi]

The only thing that worked for me was to avoid the places where they could be so I didnt have to see them and suffer. In your case is more difficult living with him, but maybe you can find a way to spend more time outside home, with Friends , or making any activity , until you can move