Anxiety Re: A Lengthy Legal Process; Coping Tips From The Experienced Requested

[dharmaBum]

Have you been involved in a criminal case that was returned with a guilty verdict only to be confronted with years of potential appeals that could invalidate the verdict or initiate a retrial? How have you coped?

I was recently involved as a "common scheme" witness in a case where a man who sexually abused me as a child for 5 years (25 years ago) was found guilty of abusing a young girl recently, for several years as well. The case is coming to the first stage of appeal (6 months out of a 24 month process) and I find PTSD symptoms, which were aggravated extremely by my participation in the current trial, returning. Especially nightmares and general agitation/anxiety.

I'm trying to get myself to believe that the abuse is over, that I am safe, that it won't happen anymore, that I will be myself regardless of the appeal content and result. Yet I literally dreamt quite vividly that I was stuck back in the abusive situation. The dream was lengthy, graphic, and terrifying. Now I just want to cry and hold my breath until the end of April, when the defendant's appeal terms are released. I have EMDR counseling once every two weeks and I use meditation, yoga, exercise, positive thought & focus, diet & a beta blocker to help mediate anxiety on a daily basis.

I'm looking for some more specific recommendations from people who have experienced the criminal court process, which seems to leave a victim's wounds torn open for years. But of course, the anxiety I feel addresses lack of closure generally as well, which I think many users of this forum can speak to.

Thank you for considering my request :)

 

[Deleted member 5760]

dharma -

Firstly, congratulations of having the strength and bravery to testify. Keep it in your heart that in doing so you may be preventing the abuse happening to someone else, so give yourself a thorough pat on the back for that.

Unfortunately, one of the most frustrating things about the legal system is that its often slow as a wet week! I'm not sure where you are but perhaps there may be some kind of 'Victims of Crime' type organisation near you that could offer support to you in some way?

-Jen

 

[dharmaBum]

Thanks Jen :)

Due to a geographic disparity (although in the same state, I'm in a separate county than the charged crime), accessing witness assistance advocacy has been very trying. I have connected with a local advocacy center but, in part because I live in a rural area with far fewer crimes per day than the urban area where the crimes took place, the advocate is less familiar with the legal system than I am.

In the interim since posting this question originally, I have kept up with EMDR, meditation, and a vigorous amount of daily Omega 3's for anti-depression help. Eventually I ended up paying for many legal documents involved with the trial in question (although not yet the audio trial transcript). I had also previously read numerous appeals cases in order to acquaint myself with the likely causes for appeal and to see how many appeals are granted and then validated (not many in either case). At some point, I became less concerned about the likelihood that the offender in this case will win his appeal.

My focus has shifted to emphasizing that regardless of the appeal outcome, he is in prison now, and for at least a year and a half while the appeal continues to be churned through the system. The prosecutor had originally informed me it would be 6-9 months before the defense appeal was submitted. My anxiety ramped up high at the sixth month deadline, and I had continual adrenaline that was really making me crazy. I consciously realized it wasn't healthy to keep it up and that I had to alleviate my distress on the topic. The day I discovered it would likely be another 3 months before the appeal was posted was crushing, but also dissolved any urgency in my fear. It dissipated and is now focused on other issues (lucky me!).

When possible, it truly does seem like the best antidote to this type of anxiety (awaiting an outcome that is pending, but uncontrollable) for me is staying busy and continuing to have new, healthy experiences in life- even when the stress of anxiety symptoms makes me nauseous at the prospect of having to tell anyone how I am doing.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

dharmaBum,

Yes that's that painful part of appeals. In both civil and criminal matters. You think it's over, but nope, there's that lovely thing called 'the appeal process' which just lengthens an already stressful situation. I hope you have friends and family around you to lean on. You do sound strong. I suppose there is always this forum too - if you ever feel like you're buckling a bit but want a safe place to vent or momentarily collapse.

Stay strong honey! Best wishes to you.

-Jen

 

[dharmaBum]

Appeal officially extended until the end of June...

 

[dharmaBum]

Appeal now overdue as of July 20th- I'm sure some post-dated extension will materialize in about 2 weeks

 

[anni]

Hi Dharma,

I just saw this, and it also sent the adrenaline UP. It wasn't as long as yours but yes, I had this sort of thing. There doesn't seem to be an 'out' from that awfull limbo-place of anxiety, does there?

I only replied because I thought perhaps it would be helpful to know the outcome in my case. After the court system had consistantly and shatteringly let me down through the years, it seems that when 'push comes to shove' and one of these appeals is in the wind is where the stupidity seems to finally END. I realize there are exceptions, certainly, but it IS what my attorney predicted-that there's little tolerance in the end and the appeals rarely end well for the slimeball.

It's awful to be in that limbo, I know-sometimes a small piece of information can distract one's head in a good direction for a bit! It sounds as if you're doing everything you possibly can to disallow his further hamrful intrusion in your life, and much, much better than I did. :) Please do take care, and if you're up to it let us know what's up with this dragging progress. I do hope you're 'free' very soon.

Anni

 

[dharmaBum]

Hey Anni! Thanks so much for chiming in. I'm glad and relieved to hear that justice was reinforced in your case and hope it will be in this one as well.

I also wanted to add that there is a precedent appeal in this matter (two combined cases) that was just accepted by the State Supreme court and is scheduled to be heard in Winter 2011. The outcome of that appeal will undoubtedly influence the appeal in my case. I hope "my appeal" is not just postponed until the outcome of the supreme court case. I think the offender has to at least state what his causes are before it would get to that stage.

 

[anni]

Hi again,

Oh Lord, that's the sort of thing which would make me cough up a hair ball if I were a cat. THAT no doubt depends on how good an attorney the slimeball has, and whether or not they've decided to try to write some sort of career-advancing precedent of their own. I hate 'precedence' since it seems as if the law isn't actually anything at all carved in stone and finite. A slimeball with money and/or an ambitious lawyer can torque 'the law' into 'well, because THIS is the case, the law really doesn't count much'. Then the other slimeball's slimeball lawyers get to say YEA-well that judge said ok, Mom! me, too!' You don't have to go to law school to figure that one out. Since dirtbags generally don't have much money, his lawyer is no doubt going for 'reputation'. Great.

Sorry. I just so hate that system and am not an in general 'buck the system' sort of individual. It's horribly broken, so much to the detriment of pretty much every victim save those whose slimeballs were SO far out of the mainstream as to have ended up on the national news-in the end. Perhaps that has finally torn open the subject for publc scrutiny, hence indignation and pressure, however-think that despicable Gerrido clown-and 'your' slime ball's appeal, precedence included, will finally be viewed as the ridiculous travesty of actualy 'justice' that it is.

Hee! I said sorry about being long-winded, then kep right on going! :) Sorry again!

 

[catjudo]

Since dirtbags generally don't have much money, his lawyer is no doubt going for 'reputation'.

An erroneous assumption or generalization. Dirtbags, in my experience, come from all walks of life. You might be surprised at how many abusers are in the world that can well afford the best of defenses from lawyers that are almost as slimy as them.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

*coughs up a hairball*

If some people in this forum don't understand the meaning of 'doctrine of precedent' and its function then perhaps they should go to law school. Do precedents change? ...Look up why...

Does the court system frustrate me - yes.

Got a better system? I'd love to hear your suggestions?

And just so you know Anni - I have a law degree. And I worked and studied my a** off for it. It was not for reputation and it was certainly not for money. Believe it or not there are some VERY good people out there who happen to be lawyers for the right reason. I went to law school after watching 'A Few Good Men'. Check it out sometime.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Also - I'm just gonna add something and hope it doesn't attract too much hatemail.

Law school changed my view of this kind of topic. I was in my very first week : a case I had to read was a young high school student who accused a teacher of touching her inappropriately. Before I even read the case I thought 'lock him away. Predator!'. I read the case from beginning to end - and the conclusion I came to was - it was simply one person's word against another's. And you know what (again, direct all hate mail towards me - I have strong shoulders) : I actually came to the conclusion that I did not believe this man was guilty. What struck me was how easily somebody can be put away for something they did not do. You only have to look at the amount of people on death row who have since been cleared since the advent of DNA evidence to realise how easily somebody can get it wrong! There is nothing more sacred that you can take away from someone than their liberty and freedom. This is why it is important that ~everyone~ is entitled to a fair trial. For anyone here who has been abused and has had to endure the lengthy and gut wrencing process of 'the due process of the law' I sincerely EMPATHISE and I can only apologise that anyone ever abused you. All I can honestly say is - any time you want to swear and scream and curse at the law - please remember, there are SO many people out there who are accused of crimes they genuinely did not commit.

Perhaps a good book to read on this topic would be 'Picking Cotton' or 'The Innocent Man'.