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Anxiety Re: A Lengthy Legal Process; Coping Tips From The Experienced Requested
- Post starter dharmaBum
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- Post starter
- #26
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
Thanks gdf.
Today is somewhat of a good day. A prospect for a new community development project came on my radar so I was able to happily engage in drafting that plan. Still checking the online database 20 or more times (maybe true) a day to see if that dang appeal has been filed, but it hasn't.
Today is somewhat of a good day. A prospect for a new community development project came on my radar so I was able to happily engage in drafting that plan. Still checking the online database 20 or more times (maybe true) a day to see if that dang appeal has been filed, but it hasn't.
It sounds very existential--like living two parallel lives. The life you live in the eyes of the world being who you are, existing in a veil of normalcy and the other life that is obsessed over outcomes which give you little control of your life. Like straddling the ocean with each foot on a separate chunk of ice trying to maintain a balance without falling into the drink.
- Post starter
- #28
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
21 days past the last "official" due date and a motion to extend the time to file has been requested again. A continuation of lack of resolution. One day, perhaps, this case will be finished. Not one day soon, though. The next "due" date for any action is 9/10/10: 11 months after the guilty verdict.
intothelight
Sponsor
Any legal action against an abuser is difficult It's like knocking the scab off old wounds and they bleed again.
Gloria
Diamond Member
I have rarely gotten a traffic ticket but two years ago, when I was in Wisconsin, three police officers jumped me when I sitting on the ground, handcuffed me and dislocated my shoulder by dragging me in handcuffs to the squad car and then I had an epileptic seizure in the squad car because I was going into shock and they didn't take me for treatment.
So finally after two years, we have filed a complaint in U.S. Court because my civil rights were violated. I was never charged with anything and they never even warned me or asked me to stand up before they jumped me. I was in bed for a couple months and totally traumatized and finally after two years I am starting to feel better but now I am having seizures again because I get to freaked out about going to court and seeing the police officers that beat me up and having it talk about it. My lawyer wants to see me on Tuesday to review the case. He said it would probably take several hours because we have to go over everything all over again to make sure that we are ready for court.
This must be something that many people on this site are going through because if we were injured or attacked, there is legal action to be taken. It is the most incredibly stressful and painful things that I have ever experienced. I had to fill out this interogation document and tell every place that I worked, address, doctor that I visited in my entire life. That's stressful trying to remember all that. I totally sympathize with anyone that is going through the same thing. I'm so grateful for this forum because I know I am not the only person that is going through this.
One of the things that bothered me the most when this first happened is that when I told people that I got beat up by the police, people didn't believe me that I was sitting on a driveway and the only thing that I had done to provoke anyone was to refuse to leave the driveway until the man that lived there (my former boy-friend) talked to me about the money he owed me. I had no idea that I would be tackled and arrested - no warning. Some people wouldn't believe me but police officers did because they know how some of their fellow officers "lose it". Then they wrote an article in the paper about my incident and many other people came forward to report similar incidents by the same police officers. It's sad. Police officers were my heroes all my life but now I am very careful and watchful when there are police around because there are some bad cops out there. I am going to reading this thread and I thank you for starting this thread and I hope your experience ends well. I think my ordeal will go on for a year unless they decide to mediate. My lawyer that 95% chance they will just mediate. I have two witnesses and emergency room pictures and doumentation.
Good Luck!
Gloria
So finally after two years, we have filed a complaint in U.S. Court because my civil rights were violated. I was never charged with anything and they never even warned me or asked me to stand up before they jumped me. I was in bed for a couple months and totally traumatized and finally after two years I am starting to feel better but now I am having seizures again because I get to freaked out about going to court and seeing the police officers that beat me up and having it talk about it. My lawyer wants to see me on Tuesday to review the case. He said it would probably take several hours because we have to go over everything all over again to make sure that we are ready for court.
This must be something that many people on this site are going through because if we were injured or attacked, there is legal action to be taken. It is the most incredibly stressful and painful things that I have ever experienced. I had to fill out this interogation document and tell every place that I worked, address, doctor that I visited in my entire life. That's stressful trying to remember all that. I totally sympathize with anyone that is going through the same thing. I'm so grateful for this forum because I know I am not the only person that is going through this.
One of the things that bothered me the most when this first happened is that when I told people that I got beat up by the police, people didn't believe me that I was sitting on a driveway and the only thing that I had done to provoke anyone was to refuse to leave the driveway until the man that lived there (my former boy-friend) talked to me about the money he owed me. I had no idea that I would be tackled and arrested - no warning. Some people wouldn't believe me but police officers did because they know how some of their fellow officers "lose it". Then they wrote an article in the paper about my incident and many other people came forward to report similar incidents by the same police officers. It's sad. Police officers were my heroes all my life but now I am very careful and watchful when there are police around because there are some bad cops out there. I am going to reading this thread and I thank you for starting this thread and I hope your experience ends well. I think my ordeal will go on for a year unless they decide to mediate. My lawyer that 95% chance they will just mediate. I have two witnesses and emergency room pictures and doumentation.
Good Luck!
Gloria
- Post starter
- #31
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
Wow Gloria!
Your experience illustrates how easily our rights can be violated, even when we imagine we are doing no true harm- that we are in fact standing up for ourselves. I had been interested in holding a vigil outside the rapist's house and also speaking door to door with his neighbors (some of whom have children) because I don't think they are aware that he is now a repeat child sex offender. But always I have been concerned that somehow I may not be on the "right" side of the law and would put myself at more risk.
I hope your court experiences end in favor of justice as quickly as possible.
Your experience illustrates how easily our rights can be violated, even when we imagine we are doing no true harm- that we are in fact standing up for ourselves. I had been interested in holding a vigil outside the rapist's house and also speaking door to door with his neighbors (some of whom have children) because I don't think they are aware that he is now a repeat child sex offender. But always I have been concerned that somehow I may not be on the "right" side of the law and would put myself at more risk.
I hope your court experiences end in favor of justice as quickly as possible.
Gloria
Diamond Member
Well, it looks like my lawsuit is going to settled out of court. I am going to meet my lawyer today. Apparently, there has been a lot of publicity about police using unnecessary force. So the more publicity my case gets, the more likely other people will come forward to file a complaint. My lawyer got a copy of the standard procedures for the police department that arrested me. I actually thought it was hysterically funny. They weren't supposed to use any force unless I was a danger and I wasn't within 100 feet of another person and sitting with my legs crossed on the ground. And three cops tackled me???? Then they were supposed to ask if I was injured and take me to emergency room if I said yes. The two witnesses (one of whome was a doctor) were telling the police that I had serious medical problems and I was injured and they ignored them and they ignored me when I begged to be taken to the emergency room. These guys were not compliant to at least eight directions in their manual. I filed a complaint and only asked they pay medical bills but they wouldn't and now it goes on for two years. Why?
But at least I wasn't raped. My girlfriend was raped, stabbed repeatedly with a knife and left for dead and she was brave enough to take the guy to court. If she can do it, so can I. I think we grow stronger when we face our biggest fear.
Good luck to you and BIG HUGS!!!
But at least I wasn't raped. My girlfriend was raped, stabbed repeatedly with a knife and left for dead and she was brave enough to take the guy to court. If she can do it, so can I. I think we grow stronger when we face our biggest fear.
Good luck to you and BIG HUGS!!!
- Post starter
- #33
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
The Appeal Has Been Release: At Least No More "Waiting" Anxiety
Ah, how much easier for me to manage the known even if it is terrible than to fear the unknown which could end up being benign...
The appeal brief was published today (poor court clerks working on Labor Day in the U.S.- hope they get overtime!). Although my testimony is cited in 1 out of 3 arguments for the appeal, it constitutes 5 of the 7 causes for dismissal or retrial. However, I'm not personally worried about that element of the outcome. The fact that he raped me whenever he wanted for 5 years is not argued or ever denied, just that the state laws that allow such testimony from prior victims is unconstitutional and/or unfairly discriminates against the accused.
The other arguments are further away from my control and/or involvement. That not enough evidence was presented to convict, that jury instructions were flawed, and that evidence of prior sexual knowledge the 7 year old victim had was suppressed in error.
It will be a grisly situation if the appeal is found valid, but that won't be determined for at least a year and a half. And I think he may be able to appeal again at that point if the ruling is not in his favor, but perhaps at his own expense. Although his mySpace page said he made more that $200 k at the time of his arrest, court documents certify that he was indigent. What a creep!
Ah, how much easier for me to manage the known even if it is terrible than to fear the unknown which could end up being benign...
The appeal brief was published today (poor court clerks working on Labor Day in the U.S.- hope they get overtime!). Although my testimony is cited in 1 out of 3 arguments for the appeal, it constitutes 5 of the 7 causes for dismissal or retrial. However, I'm not personally worried about that element of the outcome. The fact that he raped me whenever he wanted for 5 years is not argued or ever denied, just that the state laws that allow such testimony from prior victims is unconstitutional and/or unfairly discriminates against the accused.
The other arguments are further away from my control and/or involvement. That not enough evidence was presented to convict, that jury instructions were flawed, and that evidence of prior sexual knowledge the 7 year old victim had was suppressed in error.
It will be a grisly situation if the appeal is found valid, but that won't be determined for at least a year and a half. And I think he may be able to appeal again at that point if the ruling is not in his favor, but perhaps at his own expense. Although his mySpace page said he made more that $200 k at the time of his arrest, court documents certify that he was indigent. What a creep!
Gloria
Diamond Member
Dear Dharma,
I read your last post and your description and you almost sound like my lawyer because you are so knowledgable about all this legal mumbo jumbo. I am getting to be the same way. The defense is filing a pre-trial motion. Now a couple years, I would have no clue whatsoever what this is but now I am getting to know the whole process. It's so gruesome. It seems like you are handling it quite well. I am going to be meeting with my lawyer to go over and over and over all the facts again and again so if it's taken to trial, I will not freak out. My girlfriend has volunteered to with me every step of the way. I look up to her because she was a rape victim who was stabbed and left for dead and she took her assailant to court and put him away for life. When I say I can handle (but I am really struggling), she told him it will the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I dread looking into the faces of the police officers that beat me up, listening to the whole thing over and over again. The other day, I was doing good and actually laughed about the whole court thing that they will feel sorry for him because I am an elderly woman. I don't look like an elderly woman. We were laughing about how to look like a cute old lady. Oh well, it's hard. That's all I can say. But you were very strong and you should be very proud of yourself.
Hugs!
Gloria
I read your last post and your description and you almost sound like my lawyer because you are so knowledgable about all this legal mumbo jumbo. I am getting to be the same way. The defense is filing a pre-trial motion. Now a couple years, I would have no clue whatsoever what this is but now I am getting to know the whole process. It's so gruesome. It seems like you are handling it quite well. I am going to be meeting with my lawyer to go over and over and over all the facts again and again so if it's taken to trial, I will not freak out. My girlfriend has volunteered to with me every step of the way. I look up to her because she was a rape victim who was stabbed and left for dead and she took her assailant to court and put him away for life. When I say I can handle (but I am really struggling), she told him it will the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I dread looking into the faces of the police officers that beat me up, listening to the whole thing over and over again. The other day, I was doing good and actually laughed about the whole court thing that they will feel sorry for him because I am an elderly woman. I don't look like an elderly woman. We were laughing about how to look like a cute old lady. Oh well, it's hard. That's all I can say. But you were very strong and you should be very proud of yourself.
Hugs!
Gloria
- Post starter
- #35
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
Thank you Gloria! Whereas you are the primary witness in your case and I was a key witness in the case I participated in, I think my job at court was ~easier~ than yours would be with your testimony. At least I knew that the legal record was that the perp had confessed to his crimes against me. I was not cross-examined, probably because it would have only increased sympathy for the prosecutor's case. So I was only on the stand for 45 minutes and it seriously threw a curve-ball in my life that I am still not recovered from more than 1.5 years after the initial contact.
It has, however, been 12 months since my testimony and statements at his sentencing and things are definitively better for me w/PTSD symptoms. It's so unbalanced that the crimes/trauma events can happen so quickly, the legal process involve a short amount of "face time" (but horrendous continuances) and the negative impacts on the survivors and their families last for years and DECADES! EMDR and acupuncture have kept my life from unraveling!
It has, however, been 12 months since my testimony and statements at his sentencing and things are definitively better for me w/PTSD symptoms. It's so unbalanced that the crimes/trauma events can happen so quickly, the legal process involve a short amount of "face time" (but horrendous continuances) and the negative impacts on the survivors and their families last for years and DECADES! EMDR and acupuncture have kept my life from unraveling!
- Post starter
- #36
dharmaBum
Platinum Member
The appeal brief was filed 10 months after the guilty verdict. Now the prosecutor's office begins its rounds of motions for continuances. I think it was originally estimated that the state's reply comes out 6-9 months after the defense appeal. It's been two months: 4-7 months to go?
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