Anxiety Re: A Lengthy Legal Process; Coping Tips From The Experienced Requested

[dharmaBum]

It's time for another breath holding continuance! The court system frequently sets Fridays as a deadline well knowing that nothing usually happens until Monday. Today is the posted deadline for the prosecutor's office to respond to the appeal, sans documented continuance, although those often materialize post-dated. Tomorrow is the anniversary of a very graphic and violent rape this defendant inflicted upon me. It is also my mother's birthday and a day before his birthday- which he will be spending in prison this year. It was during their joint birthday celebration 26 years ago that he began to molest the 12-year old me in earnest with my mother often sitting right next to us. It was her insistence that I be the one to borrow his laundry facilities that solidified his access for the rape. It was his choice to rape me and his threats that kept me quiet, but it is my mother who was featured in my nightmare last night, and child-endangerment which has been the theme of this month's distressing dreams.

Tomorrow my husband, daughter, and I are planning to take my mom (68) and brother (33) out to a coastal town and starving artist's fair in celebration of her birthday. As I write this, I think that my desire to have the appeal response in my hot little hands today is in reflection of a desire for protection, for parenting (advocacy & validation) from the state that I didn't receive at home.

 

[dharmaBum]

The prosecutor actually filed something! The document isn't available yet, but the next action, appellant's response, is slated for mid-December.

 

[dharmaBum]

Finally the appeal response it posted online! In it the prosecution uses excerpts from trial testimony to refute the appeal claims. I haven't heard any of the trial testimony because witnesses are blocked from the courtroom and the audio transcript is extremely expensive to obtain.

The response says that even though the rapist assaulted me possibly as many as 50 times with at least 30 separate acts constituting rape on about 14 different dates, he only remembers doing it once. If he only remembered doing it once- why did he confess to the charges on my report that it occurred multiple times over a 5 year period? Because he is a LIAR and he was still trying to save his fate at court because he had lied to the little girl's family about his past offenses and that is why they allowed a convicted pedophile to pick their 6 year old daughter up from school.

My problem is breaking the grip of that whole "offender in the head" business. Knowing that he continues to lie about what he did to me through this moment stirs up so much invalidation and reminders of control through coercion and ego sublimation. He said his 5 year rape of me wasn't "memorable".

What is the emoticon for screaming obscenities? Hopefully the appeal court system, who has seen the likes of this criminal many times, will affirm the guilty verdict he was already given. I think that takes another year and a half to find out, and then maybe he can appeal that verdict too, although out of his own pocket- I don't know.

I'm still battling depression (daily) and suicidal ideation (intermittently) and hope it doesn't continue at these levels until the end of the appeal. At least I'm getting treatment now, and that ultimately it will be at his expense because if he gets out of prison the state will sue him for it.

 

[Gloria]

Hey! All I can say is that I have a lawsuit going on also and I can totally appreciate your depression and your suicidal ideation. It can put me right in the toilet when I read something and think the offenders will get away with it. I hate this because it goes on and on and on. I am going on for 2 1/2 years now.

Hang in there! One day this will all be over and you will look back and realize how strong you were.

Hugs!
Gloria

 

[dharmaBum]

A Hearing In The Near Future?
Finally, after months of no news or changes in the status of the serial child rapist's appeal file, a hearing has been set for July 20, 2011. That will be 2.5 months shy of 2 years after the guilty verdict sentenced him to 18 years to life for his third count of rape of a child. I don't know if this part of the process is as fraught with continuances as every other stage, but at least it means the whole travesty is somewhere closer to ending.

I really felt like dancing up a storm when I saw the date today & am listening to bassy punk rock as loud as my speakers can take it this morning. There are so many different ways the ruling at the hearing can go, and only one would be favorable for myself and his most recent victim- but still- HOPE! Is there universal justice? Does it intersect with cultural/social justice in this lifetime?

I tried for 20 years to live my life and stay away from him, and he came and got me anyway via this trial. It reminds me of the criminal in Cape Fear who ties himself to the undercarriage of a car to follow his victim as he flees town only to appear when the family believes they are far from harm and safe. I find solace in two beliefs: 1. He can't physically harm children while he's in prison awaiting the appeal results; 2. Prison is no cake walk and is certainly no measure of a free life- he forfeited that and the state is holding him to it.

 

[Gloria]

Wow, this has been going on for a very long time. I'm involved in a lawsuit that has gone on for almost three years now because three police officers assaulted me and if I knew what a horrible experience it was going to be, I never would have filed charges but it's almost over now.

I just want to say that I'm glad your molester is being prosecuted. How many on this forum have been molested by their own brother/father, etc. and nothing will be done and yet for whatever reasons we are still in some kind of contact. It's tough. I know. I forget about my lawsuit and the assault but then a court date comes up and it's like toxic. It's like Superman being in contact with krypton. It totally knocks me down.

You are so brave for hanging in there. You are saving other children from the abuse that you suffered. The law takes too darn long because criminals have so many rights and it seems that it is more important to protect their rights than the rights of the innocent.

Lots of Hugs!
Gloria

 

[dharmaBum]

For now- it is over. APPEAL DENIED ON ALL COUNTS! http://www.courts.wa.gov/opinions/index.cfm?fa=opinions.showOpinion&filename=642341MAJ (Document contains details related to child rape).

Yes! If things don't change, he is in prison for the next 16 years and then has to prove he accepts accountability for his offenses before he can be released, when his ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT WITH CHILDREN EVER order will kick in. The sentencing judge said that this perpetrator shouldn't even be able to go to a grocery store where children might be present. The judge wasn't sure how such an order would be implemented, but that's the judgement he gave and said if the perp. EVER (unlikely in the judge's opinion) gets out of prison it will be up to the community supervision panel to figure it out.

 

[Gloria]

I don't know if you live in the U.S. but the police admitted that three police officer (and each twice my size) jumped me and pinned to the ground and before the big fat one got off of me, they had the handcuffs in back of me and pulled me to my feet. They never told me that I was under arrest but my lawyer says the mere fact that they were wearing a uniform and had asked (not told me) to leave justifies their force because they were threatened by me even though I was sitting my legs crossed of me. It's not over but they asked for a settlement offer and if they don't settle, I have friends who have connections with the press. Child molesters are required to register in the U.S. and it's called the House of Shame. Anyway, I don't have any children. My sons are grown but I did look up how molesters live right in my neighborhood. Thank God I don't have young children now. Its' sick and sad but also I found it amusing that my relatives are convicted child molesters and they called me a liar and disowned me when I spoke.

I am very happy for your victory. My satisfaction is that very few people would go through what I went through to stand up to the police. Was it worth if for me? No. It's been Hell. I ended up the one who was getting investigated and they made a huge deal about how many times I've been married. Well, I Liz Taylor should have gotten beat up by the police because she was married more times than I was. Oh well!
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[dharmaBum]

BAH! He has petitioned to take the appeal contesting my testimony to the state supreme court. I feel as if my heart has been wrenched from my chest and then forced down my own throat. I want this to be OVER! 90% of these petitions are denied. Lets hope it doesn't take too long. It's been over 2.5 years already.

 

[Gloria]

Dear DB,

I have three years in my lawsuit against the police. The statistics on people who are are assaulted by the police are that an estimated 90% never even get reported. Of the cases that are reported, 90% will not get past the summary judgement. But I had photos. I was sure that my case would be won. I have gone through legal Hell with this case. If I had any idea going in that I would have everything in my life (everything, my child abuse, sexual assaults, marriages, and a lot of things they accused me of that were totally ridiculous). Then they had me get a psche exam from a psychiatrist that got his degree in Central America in the 70's, never had patients or was affiliated to a hospital but just testified in court for a living. Well, if his high fees are dependant on him providing proof in favor of whoever is paying him, what will his report be. I was not traumatized but only embarresed by getting assaulted and arrested. I have not one but three personality disorders. Sorry I know the required DSM traits and I don't qualify for two of them. The histrionic personality disorder, I admit there might be some possibility but his report was laughable. He wrote that he was sure that one of my psychologists was not really a doctor because her handwriting was too legible. :p Will the judge take this guy seriously? I think so. Not only do I feel unsafe and that the police can arrest me at any time, I have lost all faith in our legal system.

Dear DB, if your case is not going the way you think is fair and just, the legal system is very complicated and in my opinion corrupt and outdated. It doesn't appear to me that good shall prevail, it's political and whoever has the most money or whoever has the cleverest lawyer or just plain luck. This is nothing new. It took me a long time to accept this but then I think about how people all over the world are living in countries where government or society is not fair. A woman could be stoned to death in many countries for just being disrespectful to their husband or mother-in-law. It's not a perfect world.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. ITL said something about these lawsuits are like a scab that continues to get knocked around so they will bleed again. I won't let this take any more of my life. I refuse to talk to my lawyer or think about my case any longer. I just wish that you can find peace no matter what the damn courts do.

I am so sorry DB. If we rely on the courts to fix this, I'm afraid that we are putting our trust in something that is not there. Keep us posted.

Hugs,
Gloria

 

[Gloria]

Just wanted to let you know that I looked at the URL. It's all jargon to me. I don't understand our legal system. It makes me so angry. Not knowing the law is no excuse so I bet we all break a law every day. Who knows? It's illegal to walk my dogs without a leash but they are well trained and it's too hard to walk three dogs on leashes without getting tangled. I could go to jail for breaking the law at any time. But we spend so much money. It makes me angry that criminals have so many rights and if the guy does go to jail, the criminals have food, a roof over their head, televisions, exercise, library, etc. We pay millions to maintain jails and provide medical and dental care to these criminals.

Then we have elderly and children who are innocent who don't have any of those luxuries. The cops that beat me up are innocent unless proven guilty. I sat in my ex-boyfriend's driveway, got beat up but the lawyers dug up every thing in my life and used it against me (and I was never once arrested or involved in any lawsuit, don't do drugs, drink or smoke) and yet they managed to make me look like a liar and a crazy woman (and the police all said that I attacked them). Then why didn't the reports state that and why wasn't I charged with assaulting an officer. The whole legal system disgusts me. I just feel your frustration.

 

[dharmaBum]

Update: Bad day at court!

The state Supreme Court ruled that the law that allowed my testimony is unconstitutional. The perp's supreme court review was pending this outcome. In the next month I hope to find out if his conviction will stand, if the case will be retried, or if the state will drop it.

The worst part for me right now has been my growing awareness of how much of a textbook psychopath this guy is and what a relief it was to know that he was in prison unable to physically harm any children. If the state drops the case and he is released, he won't even have to register as a sex offender, even though the sentencing judge didn't think it was safe for him to be in a grocery store where children might be present.

Universal justice- PLEASE prevail!