Yesterday afternoon I had a REALLY BAD anxiety attack, see even with meds they still break through. With all the leagal issues pending, like with the lawsuit against the drunk that hit me, suing my own insurance company and with attaining SSD, it gets overwhelming. Both lawyers called yesterday to touch base and let me know how things are going, and to let me know that I will have to give verbal depostion for the liability claim. THAT SCARES ME. I got into such a panic thinking about how I will hold up sitting there with the oposing attorney grilling me with questions, recapping the accident, which I can not agree or disagree on because most of it is still a blank, feeling so betrayed by my insurance company because I thought you carried auto insurance to protect you, YEAH RIGHT, untill you need to make a claim on it, then they do everything within their power to make you look like YOU did something wrong. I mean when they sent me this HUGE PILE of questions I freeked out and that was just writting down answers, which for me I don't have that many, and it was so exhausting trying to recall events that JUST ARE NOT IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW. The only benefit to this is that my Doc told me that I DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE VERBAL IN PERSON DEPOSTION, they can arrange it so that the oposing side writes up their intergogation on paper and I just fill it out with the help of my patient advocate and get it notorized. HOW DO THEY EXPECT ME TO RELIVE THIS TRAUMA OVER AND OVER AND OVER, when I have not made that many steps forward to get over it and when I do not remember vital information. The only way I can answer questions is by reading the police report and then its just recalling what was in the report I just read. The financial stress right now is very instense. The crime victims compensation fund called yesterday to to tell me that the grant is running low so that means soon enough that income will stop and then I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO. I try not to look to far ahead but it seems like when one of them calls THEY ALL CALL, and not with the best of news either. WHAT IS IT THAT THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND? I DID NOTHING WRONG, I was in no way at fault for what happened to me, you would think this was a clear cut case but obvioulsy NOT!!! Over the next few months be prepared to read lots of vents from me, lots of anxiety posts etc... because right now I am hitting an all time low. The more stess the worse the pain and the worse the pain the more anxiety and PTSD symptoms. What a crazy merri go round this is. I never did like merri go rounds they make me PUKE!!!!!!!!