Any One Know Of A Book For The Partner Of A Ptsd Complex Trauma Sufferer?

[ms spock]

Hello Folks,

Any One Know of A Book for the Partner of a PTSD Complex Trauma Sufferer?

Cheers,
ms spock

 

[anthony]

Complex has little to do with it, from a partners view. Two books for partners to grasp trauma and PTSD, from a support view:

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[ms spock]

Thanks @anthony.

I have the second one but not the first. My partner wanted one that wasn't so combat orientated. I haven't read it - it might be his way of not talking about it so much. He has a lot on his plate at the moment.

Much appreciated.
ms spock

 

[Hope4Now]

Complex has little to do with it, from a partners view.

I would just toss in my opinion here. I think complex has a great deal to do with it. Particularly for those of us who experienced developmental trauma, there is no "before" and therefore no sense of any integrated self to anchor to, especially when dissociative issues are involved to any extent. It is extremely difficult for someone who does not share the experience of a fragmented self to understand how to support someone who has these issues.

I would recommend Bessel Van Der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps the Score (which is forever advertised on the site here). It is the best of all the books I've read and is accessible and approachable for all audiences--sufferers, supporters/partners, and therapists alike. It covers all aspects of disorders caused by traumatic stress.

The other book I found particularly helpful and that could be helpful to share with a partner and discuss is Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Boon, Steele, and Van Der Hart. It grows from their work on structural dissociation, and offers really practical coping strategies.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Uhm, stupid question, but does the site receive funds for purchases thru those links? (I mean advertising links.) Or just so much per click thru?

ETA

You can get a sample reading of The Body Keeps the Score from Amazon....

 

[shimmerz]

I am going to answer for @sun seeker here. She recommends a book by Laurence Heller called Healing Developmental Trauma
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He also has a video out on YouTube that is very helpful!

 

[sun seeker]

I think complex has a great deal to do with it.

I was about to say exactly the same thing.

I am going to answer for [DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/28120/"]@sun seeker[/DLMURL] here.

If I'd read this thread before getting tagged, yup... that's what I would have said. :)

I have to laugh. There was a thread I was reading last night that I was trying to think of a way of answering and then realized I didn't need to because @Hope4Now had pretty much said everything I would have said anyway.

 

[ms spock]

I have Laurence Heller's "Healing Developmental" but it is too complex for the average reader - and my partner has no background in this area.

 

[Shadowofdoubt]

I ordered Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving by Peter Walker. I have found it very helpful, he talks of emotianal flashbacks, the 4 'f's (Fight, Flight,Freeze, and Fawn). He also has advice on how to manage codependent behaviors. I would recommend it, found it during a search.

 

[anthony]

I think complex has a great deal to do with it.

The reason for my answer was based on the question of a book for a supporter. A partner reading the in's and out's of trauma, such as Van Der Kolk or such, will just confuse them more than help them. A spouse / supporter needs far more specific information in how to "support" and not to try and understand every aspect of trauma, to fix or solve their partners problems.

That is why I make that statement in relation to the question asked, being about a supporter. Yes... those other books are great reading and it can never hurt for a spouse to be more informed, but they don't contain what supporters need, and need to know, in relation to supporting someone with trauma (regardless of type or complexity) and PTSD, and how to help themselves and that person in relation to moderating the situation.

If you're a complex trauma sufferer and wanted to understand it better, then I would not recommend the two supporter books that I did, instead van der kolks book, to you.

The type of trauma has nothing to do with the supporters role. They need to understand how to support someone with trauma, and more importantly, that produces PTSD symptoms. Remember, the trauma itself, complex or not, does not mean you get PTSD, thus a person with the worst childhood may have little to no effect as an adult, thus it is the combination of trauma + PTSD that is the chaos for a supporter, not the trauma itself.

The problem as I see it, is that people who suffer PTSD, regardless of trauma, too often become biased and lose sight of others role in their healing. Supporters don't need to understand every aspect of what you endured, nor do they need to endure it to support you... their role is different, sympathetic, caring, nurturing, supportive, yet also assertive, constructive and an aid to push you towards beneficial recovery stages, such as getting to therapy appointments, completing assigned homework, et cetera.

 

[ms spock]

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. I appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to contribute.

I ordered Van Der Kolk for myself.

For my partner simpler is best, he is not able to process a lot information at the moment as he is severely over taxed by caring for his dementing elderly father. My stuff is pretty much on the back burner because we are so focused on caring. But it helps if someone understands a little bit.

 

[sun seeker]

I have Laurence Heller's "Healing Developmental" but it is too complex for the average reader

It gets less so towards the end, if he can persist, or just skip to the case studies. Or else there is the video.