Relationship Any Stories Of Triumph?

[R.Quartz]

So after browsing many threads in this section, I've confirmed the reality that being a supporter in a relationship is not for the faint of heart. I understand and respect that, as I already relate to many of the concerning experiences posted here.

However I thought I'd throw a different question out there... Does anyone have any stories of notable triumph of breakthrough in their relationship? I thought it might be encouraging, both for those of us who are nervous and new to this role as well as those who are in long term relationships that could use a win.

 

[HelenB]

I am not a supporter but a sufferer but wanted to write as I know that my experience with my husband has been so good. He comes from a very different background to me so lots of the things I have been through were very new to him, and though I have realised that he is not the person I will talk to for my therapy, I do know I can share anything with him and most importantly that he does love me. That took ten years of being married to actually believe, as before I just thought he stayed with me out of duty, but finally coming to the place where I really believed it, because he did just keep demonstrating it to me so much was a massive turning point in our relationship and has helped me so much on my journey.

I do always say that though I now believe he loves me must be because he is stupid, but even so knowing that he really does love me, even when he does not know the right words to say or even how to respond, has helped so much and him just being there constantly and knowing he is there has made such a difference and really been such a blessing to me and something which I really do not believe I would have got through without.

Helen

 

[amethist]

I am a supporter and so far after 7 years of PTSD we are still together. A bit rocky at times but still as solid as we were before PTSD invaded our lives.

Its not easy and is definitely not for the faint hearted, but with patience and understanding it can be done.

Taking care of yourself is a must at all times. From doing your own thing, to leaving them to work it out them selves when they want to pick a fight.

 

[Rosanne]

I have been married to a sufferer of PTSD for 8 1/2 years. Our marriage, to say the least, has been rocky. He was diagnosed with PTSD only 5 months ago and this has changed everything. I finally feel that there is a reason for his behavior and its not that I am going crazy.
We had a break-through right before Christmas. We have decided to blame the PTSD "monster" instead of each other. I have started to look at my husband as he has two different people in one. When he gets "crazy" I am now able to tell myself that it is not him, but the other part of him and it makes it easier for me to not get so angry and not blame him. Not sure if this makes much sense, but it is truly working in my case.

I was ready to leave him in the beginning of December 2013, but with this way of thinking it is making living with him so much easier. Not saying that things are "great", but they are good right now and hopefully with his therapy and mine, we will get through this.

I am still looking for a support group in my area.....none to be found....

I agree with what amethist says about taking care of yourself at all times. It is a hard thing for me to do since I have been taking care of him and everyone around me for the past 8 years.....but with help from my friends, I am learning.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

When I suffered my major breakdown I broke down in front of my wife and three teenage children, They witnessed me being dragged away by armed Police Officers. That for clear reasons scared and alienated me from them as they were petrified at ever seeing me again if I were to kick off like that. A small Triumph in all. I am now in contact with my teenage daughters Tasha and Kaiya.

We only message through Facebook as I am banned from seeing them and am not allowed to ring them.

Their mum knows we are in contact and that contact is always encouraging. I hope one day to become a physical part of their lives again in whatever capacity I am allowed. They are my kids all six of them and I love them dearly. I know I have to be selfish in one respect and concentrate on my healing process and thankfully this forum has been instrumental in that.

I thank Anthony and all the staff for being there and wish all participants love and hugs.
xx

Laurie