Any tips or resources for initial exploration/identification of parts? (not did)

[barefoot]

I am starting to dip my toe into the idea of “parts”. Having been pretty resistant to the whole idea for a while, I am now feeling much more curious and open to exploring a bit. My therapist and I have talked about it for the last couple of sessions and I’ve just read John Rowan’s Subpersonalities, which my T recommended as a good intro.

We discussed me coming up with list of my parts at home so that we can discuss next session and then use the info in future sessions. I was actually quite excited at the prospect and made a start jotting some notes on my way home from last session and have added bits to it over the last 10 days.

I’m not sure whether I’ve done it right (ha! Critical part! :rolleyes:) and I would appreciate any input. I think I have two main queries:

1) I seem to have identified a lot of “parts”. Loads of them! I know I can’t really ask how many parts I should have as there isn’t an answer to that (or is there?! ;)) But I’m not sure if I have just listed loads of personality traits I know I have and then sort of grouped them together to create a character and then called each of those characters a part? Does that make sense?

2) I know parts aren’t supposed to be considered positive or negative as such. But my list looks like a cast of characters who all seem to represent the things I don’t especially like about myself - my worst traits really. It’s not that I don’t have things I like about myself - I could write a random list of them if someone asked me to. They just don’t seem to have shown up in any of these parts I’ve identified. Does that sound ok or should I be...I don’t know....finding and including some “nicer” parts?!

Does anyone have any thoughts re my queries above?

Or does anyone have any suggestions of any resources (exercises, worksheets, work books etc) that helped them with this initial stage?

I can easily take what I have done to therapy next week and talk it through with my therapist but I thought I’d throw it out to the floor here to see if anyone can help, offer me your take, share some experience/insight etc.

Thanks!

 

[EveHarrington]

This is what I use as it’s geared toward doing it all on your own, hence spelling everything out for you as a total novice.

Dead Link Removed

I think there are three volumes plus a workbook.

I started by identifying feelings/thoughts as separate parts, categorizing them as protectors or exiles.

I wouldn’t be so quick to group traits together. This comes with time and observation. I have a major problem part, whom I call fawn, but she does so much more than fawn. I’ve identified this parts traits and behaviors over time, hence building her “personality”.

There is also the issue of blending, when two parts blend together or with the core self. This is why it’s important to not jump the gun on grouping traits into one single part, because what you may consider to be one part may indeed be a blending of two parts.

As for good parts, I have them, and I know they are very much a part of me, but since they don’t cause problems, they don’t get attention. Good parts don’t throw a fit when you don’t give them attention, unlike problematic parts. Good parts are good, and don’t need guidance or help in changing. A good part isn’t going to take over the self and wreck havoc. They’re able to just exist on autopilot. At least this is my experience.

I have two main dissociated parts. (Not DID.) They fit into my parts map but are not held close to the core like other parts. My system will do anything to avoid feeling fear and anger parts. I can feel them in small bursts, but they are quickly fleeting.

I hope this makes sense!

Oh, and my parts work is IFST. I think it’s important to find one kind of parts therapy that rings true for you and run with it. I’ve looked into structural dissociation and it’s different enough to cause confusion as the terminology is different.

 

[Sideways]

The breakdown of schema modes in Schema Therapy has some personality clusters that are common. You may relate to a few.

They’re broken down into child parts, dysfunctional coping parts and functional coping parts. Schema therapy can be a bit out there to het your head around if you take it all in at once, but the list of different schema modes by itself might have stuff you relate to.

The only question that remains is whether I can successfully post the link...!
http://www.schematherapy.com/id72.htm

 

[Angelwings]

This is what I use as it’s geared toward doing it all on your own, hence spelling everything ou...

@EveHarrington Wow this is fascinating! How long have you been doing it? Do you have C-PTSD, or PTSD, or because you're in the US you have PTSD? My therapist still diagnosed me with C-PTSD.

 

[EveHarrington]

@EveHarrington Wow this is fascinating! How long have you been doing it? Do you...

I did some a few years ago with a therapist and found it to be pretty helpful. I then started up again last fall and it’s been helpful once again....this time on my own pretty much, but my therapist does some inner child work as well. I’m holding steady right now because people telling me to work with my inner child is hella scary and my little one freaks out. The long/short of it all is that my ex thought he was helping me by pushing inner child work but it was actually more damaging because he didn’t know what he was doing. So, if I do it slowly and on my own, I am ok. Slow is ok because it gives me time to learn more about my parts and work with them at a comfortable pace.

I am a childhood CSA survivor. My diagnosis is PTSD & MDD. Someone once said it’s CPTSD.

 

[Suzetig]

The concept of parts for me is like having different facets to my personality - in a very crude explanation I think about the part of me I show people at work, which is different to the part of me my children see, which is different to the part my husband sees etc etc. Not different identities, but different combinations of all my character traits - some of which hold parts of my trauma and some which don’t.

I found reading about a concept called configurations of self helpful in understanding the different ways in which I experience myself and others experience me.

 

[MyWillow]

I'm kinda wondering if the concept of "parts" is unique for everyone and you need to do what works and feels right for you.

I do quite like the Theory of Structural Dissociation. It speaks to me in a HUGE way.

I'm not DID.

But I have LOUD thoughts in my head that are totally not from me. But they speak from a first person perspective. It totally weirds me out as it's only been happening for the last 12 months since my T started digging into my past. Up until then I suspect I was doing a bloody fine job of avoiding and numbing. One part of my brain got completely freaked out when I said a banal word and sent me into a dissociative flashback. Another part told me "see you'll be on your own" when my T said she was going away for a month. Tried to argue that using my logical brain but nope. Dragged me straight into a dissociative flashback. Another part calmly tells me shit that happened to me when I was a kid which I don't remember. And I've had some of the oddest experiences in session with a terrified, young part that can barely speak. It's like I'm sitting in the background and my only role is to find the capacity and words to respond to questions.

This stuff is only theory and the brain is the most extraordinary, complex organ. Everything we know and surmise is MUCH simpler than the reality I suspect.

 

[barefoot]

Really appreciate these replies, thank you! Have only managed to have a quick skim through so I need to revisit when I have more time tomorrow to digest. Which is also when I’m going to finish this therapy homework, so your posts will be very helpful with that, I’m sure.

Any other experiences/suggestions/insights still very welcome! This is all very new to me!

Thanks again!

 

[ILoveLife]

The approach I prefered in my parts work was to recognize the children first. They were the ones that most needed attention at the time. But, this is agaisnt protocol :D lol I would go by what @EveHarrington said, she layed it out pretty well.

 

[NightSky]

I have the same homework this week. Mine is from a workbook on Internal Family Systems. But I’m also reading Freedom from your Inner Critic which has a quiz that helps you identify the types of critics that cause you the most problems. I’ve decided to start there. Other than that, I think I have to just keep track of feelings/sensations/thought patterns because I’m not able to look in and SEE parts. I feel very different from day to day and think and react differently, and feel like I have vastly different needs that cycle around. Like I’m always changing depending on so many factors. So I’m hoping some patterns emerge over time that tell me about my parts.

 

[barefoot]

@EveHarrington - thanks for sharing the work you’re currently doing on this and for offering some clear explanation. Very helpful. And the bit about blending is interesting...will think more about that...And thanks for the book recommendation too - will check it out. I don’t really know what form of parts work we’re doing - T hasn’t mentioned any specific modality around it and isn’t using specific language/jargon such as exiles etc. I’m not sure that we’re actually properly getting into “parts work” as a new focus for how we’re going to work in sessions or whether we’re just doing quite a light touch intro to the concept of parts/Subpersonalities, which is just going to help me to identify/express some emotions to stuff?

@Sideways - thanks for the link. I definitely relate to some of the schematic modes on that list, particularly vulnerable child (ugh!) and detached protector.

It’s good to know that all these modes/concepts exist (IFS, Schema, Configurations of Self, Structural Dissociation) and my natural inclination is to dive in and start madly researching them all to find out everything I can! I have looked up a tiny bit on each after seeing all your posts here but think I am going to hold off on researching further for now because I think I might get a bit overwhelmed and I’m not sure, ultimately, how helpful that will be at this point.

I think I will take what I have to therapy this week and then see what comes up and where that naturally takes us.

Actually, I might look at my list again now and maybe look to simplify it and just start by focusing on the ones that feel most...challenging...at the moment! And to focus on the feelings they hold - keeping it short and simple rather than developing quite detailed traits around them at this early stage. There are three parts that tend to show up in therapy when I dive into harder stuff and, when they do, they sort of get in the way of what I’m trying to do there. Eg I’ll feel scared and go mute or I’ll get really defensive and shut down. So, I think I may start with those - seeing as they seem to like showing up in therapy, perhaps I should consciously take them to session with me this week and explore them a bit?!

@NightSky - good luck with your homework! I’m sure you’re right and that more will emerge over time as you continue to try to engage and connect.