Anyone Else With Ptsd That Is Not From The Military Feel Slighted?

[Azop]

It's the way your posts come across. The perceived 'tone' while no doubt unintentionally, reads as being very resentful.

For example:

Rape victims? Oh they "can't possibly feel the same as a soldier,"

This is actually quite true. I am not a combat vet either, but I have no clue what it's like to be in a war. I'm sure it sucks but I don't really know what it's like.

Same with sexual assault or domestic violence. While again I have no doubt it's horrible. I can't say I know know it feels, because I don't. My parents never beat me, I have never been raped, nor has anyone I have been lived with in my adult years beat me. I don't know what it's like.

I have been to DV calls as EMS. I know what it looks like, but I still can't say I have experienced it.

Anyone telling you that you don't matter because you weren't in a war, is the kind of person that in my opinion shouldn't be listened to anyway.

As one of the people who leaped down your throat, I will admit that I reacted rather than listened, for that I apologise.

It would be nice if EVERYONE could get help - at a reasonable cost - for PTSD; not only soldiers.

This is one of the points of contention I have with your post. Here's why.

One of the worst things I have ever heard about vets returning home from Afghanistan and Iraq was the very cheap shady way many of them were treated. Quite a few had come home, either not symptomatic or not bothered enough about their symptoms to have sought help while they were still active military.

When after even a short period of time post discharge, these vets went to the VA. They were told that because their symptoms had surfaced or worsened after they were discharged, they could not prove it was combat that caused their ptsd. They were then refused care. This lead to many self medicating, then death by overdose or suicide.

This still happens, anytime a government agency or insurance company can screw them out of their benefits they do.

While I agree with what you are saying, that everyone who has to suffer this deserves everything possible to help them. The care vets receive is still pitifully poor. What they have now, was hard fought for at the cost of many lives, after their war was supposed to be over for them.

This is one of those things that fits under "the grass isn't greener on the other side".

Sorry for the harsh words, but with what comes to my mind as the level of care you appear to perceive being unavailable to civilians, it's not enough more to be envious of. I should have read your post with more neutrality than I did. I also should have waited longer to respond.

My advice to you would be to perhaps phrase posts like this in a way that points the negativity with a finer aim. Maybe employ greater emphasis on your feelings that the issue is with society as a whole. Or government policy. Unfortunately your OP comes off as bitter to the actual veterans and the care they receive, as opposed to the apathy of the general public and or the policy makers in the mental health field.

 

[Agi]

I struggle with the same things as the OP. This is how a conversation goes down in this town.

"Yeah, I have PTSD"
"Iraq? Vietnam?
"Vietnam? How fricking old do I look? ;)
"My PTSD is not combat-related"
"Oh, so you're a pussy."

Meanwhile, in my head, I'm responding, go find me a PTSD vet, we'll exchange stories and we'll see which of us is buying the beers for the other guy."

Of course, I think this is all childish and unproductive and inappropriate thought, but it does go on and I can't seem to squash it.

Also, someone mentioned that in their area there we're no resources for vets, only resources for other trauma victims. I find that interesting, because it is just the opposite here. Every PTSD group is vets-only, every program prioritizes vets over the rest of us pussies.

 

[Sotame]

My questions to you about this are simply.

1. Who is this person who you converse with with such a negative view on those of us with non-combat PTSD?
2. Why are you asking their opinion, when they are clearly a closed minded dick-head?
3. Why do you allow the opinion of said closed minded dick-head bring you down?
4. Why do you allow the opinion of the closed minded dick-head to colour your opinion of the men and women who have joined the military?

 

[Ifu]

My questions to you about this are simply.

1. Who is this person who you converse with with such a negative view on those of us with non-combat PTSD?
2. Why are you asking their opinion, when they are clearly a closed minded dick-head?
3. Why do you allow the opinion of said closed minded dick-head bring you down?
4. Why do you allow the opinion of the closed minded dick-head to colour your opinion of the men and women who have joined the military?

The conversation is more of a compilation of conversations I've had. There is a notable tone change when people hear that your PTSD is not combat-related, at least in my experience.

I think my main point, though, was to let the OP know that s/he isn't the only one who has these thoughts. .. that I also have them, feel like as asshole for having them, but they do happen, even though I really don't want them to.

 

[Doheg]

it's something others understand without having to tell the story.

Are you serious? I have yet to meet a single person who understands my vet's combat PTSD without having to tell 'the story'. Also - which story? How long have you got? He had ten deployments - each one for about 12 months.

go find me a PTSD vet, we'll exchange stories and we'll see which of us is buying the beers for the other guy

Awesome. You want to play "my trauma is worse than your trauma". Very helpful.

 

[Batep]

I just don't feel like any one group of those with PTSD should be helped over another group of people with PTSD resulting from a different cause are suffering too.

So you don't think those responsible for the trauma should fund treatment for the trauma? The military knowingly put their people in harm's way. They have to. That's their job. And when some of those people are harmed? Damn straight the military/government should pay for that!

Basically, you're saying that if a vet has his foot blown off by an IED its not fair that the military will pay for a prosthetic foot because other people who lose their feet in civilian accidents don't get prosthetics paid for by the government.

Not going to get any sympathy from me on that one.

 

[Joteca]

Sotame here.

The conversation is more of a compilation of conversations I've had. There is a notable tone change when people hear that your PTSD is not combat-related, at least in my experience.

The original 4 questions still apply. Just add plurals to them. Ie, closed minded dick-head's.

There is a notable tone change when people hear that your PTSD is not combat-related, at least in my experience.

This is not the veteran's problem. This has nothing to do with them. This is the way some people choose to think.

Honestly if you are unable to handle the shitty way people view ptsd. Don't air it out for all to see.

It's also been my experience that people often treat veterans with ptsd with something more like a fearful revulsion. Because every homicidal lunatic who puts on a uniform then shoots up a mess hall, suddenly says "It was PTSD! I'm not a murderer I'm a victim"..... bullshit.

So either you can be viewed as a "pussy", or a "monster".

Or, you can tell those people to f*ck off and go buy a vet a drink and chat with them about sports. Treat them as I want to be treated. Like a human being. This is what I would rather do.

 

[Ugo]

Are you serious? I have yet to meet a single person who understands my vet's combat PTSD without having to tell 'the sto...

This is zobik. Yes I am serious! I don't think.anyone who's been to war is ever expected to explain why they have ptsd or tell the whole story. It's immediately understood - no need for details to be told.
I wasn't meaning to say everyone understands all they've been through - just that there's no need to explain!
It isn't a competition - as you say!

 

[Ihot]

This is Doheg and I am telling you from experience that my vet - who has been to three different wars is regularly asked whether he has PTSD and when he says yes he is often asked for more details. So you can think whatever you like because I know for a fact it happens.

 

[Opo]

My favourite question ever, from anyone who finds out what I used to do for a living.
Sotame, Joteca again by the way.

So what was the worst call you ever responded to? I like to keep a few stories handy for this f*cking question. My usual first pick is.

I responded to a call for limb pain, pt unable to put weight on leg.
Guess what it was? It's shocking, to non ems personell anyways.

If you guessed broken leg? Wrong. Try again.
Gangrene from poorly managed diabetes? Nope wrong again.
Ingrown toenail? Ding, ding. Winner.

I usually don't get asked that twice. Good.

Just common sense alone tells me Doheg, Ihot is batting far closer to reality.

Think about it,
EMS, a job where you are bound to see some horrible things.

Combat deployment in the military, all the horrible things from a EMS career. Plus cool toys like guns, tanks, bombs, fighter jets. You really think that everyone they run into isn't going to ask about that stuff?

Or give a shit that the vet has to relive the events to tell them some badass war story?

Or that I have to relive it whenever I get asked about bad calls?

I don't know know why I bother with stupid stories like the ingrown. The question alone is enough to bring me back.

Nope, they don't care. Most people can't see past the end of their own nose. They definitely don't respect the the fact that a man like Doheg's vet, who has spent a decade of his life in various hell holes. Doesn't want to talk about it. Nope they want a cool story, that's as far as most peoples compassion extends.

 

[Edel]

Oh then I'm really sorry! It's zobik again. And I'm kinda shocked that people do ask - I guess I never would and can't imagine anyone I know asking - but maybe I'm wrong about that!
I always knew from a young age not to ask anyone who'd been to war any questions about it, and everyone knew that - or so I thought. But if they ask questions about emergency service calls that have helped cause ptsd, I guess we are not all on board in that way.
My own ptsd or cptsd was caused in my own private life and family, and people do ask - and like you say I did used to try to answer and in the process walk back through the doors of my own private hell.
Then afterwards wonder who else they'd tell - esp if I then realised it was curiosity more than care.
But I don't answer those questions any more. Just leave it vague.
I didn't imagine those in crisis jobs - like soldiers or emergency service people - would be asked those kind of questions.
I'm really sorry for presuming that.
)-:
Just reaffirms my desire to stay at arms length from most of my fellow human beings. Ugh

 

[Dutala]

Doheg again. Typical conversation goes like this:

Stranger: So what do you do?
Vet: I'm retired.
Stranger: You're too young to be retired.
Vet: 25 years as an infantry soldier is enough work for one lifetime. I'm retired.
Stranger: Did you go anywhere?
Vet: Timor, Iraq and Afghanistan.
Stranger: Have you ever killed anyone?
Vet: I wasn't there to f*ck spiders.
Stranger: Did you get PTSD.
Vet: That's not really your business is it?

It never ceases to amaze me how our soldiers are treated as "public property". Why you would ask a man you just met if he ever killed anyone I just cannot fathom.