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Anyone Else's Husbands Getting P*ssed At You For Using This Forum?
- Post starter Sing2me
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No. My husband does not know I use a support forum for help. He sleeps like a champion. Sleep is almost non-existant in my world. Sounds like your husband needs to realize he maybe able to support you but not understand where you are coming from. He may be feeling left out if you are spending a lot of time on forums. You could set aside time in your day and tell him that it is your time to spend say 1 hour on the forums and dedicate some time for him as well so he does not feel left out. It sounds like a bit of jealousy. Maybe he could join the forum too as a supporter :)
D
Deleted member 1860
In a way I think your husband is being selfish. No one person can be someone's everything. We are social beings who form various types of relationships to ensure that our different needs are met.
My husband thinks I'm on here too much. He doesn't get annoyed though and I think tbh he prefers I vent on here than to him.
I talk about things on here I cannot talk about in person to anyone. I think partners need to realise that getting some of this stuff out, in whichever way we can, is healthy.
There is probably an argument against spending too much time on here and that being unhealthy, but for many it's one of the only forms of support.
I talk about things on here I cannot talk about in person to anyone. I think partners need to realise that getting some of this stuff out, in whichever way we can, is healthy.
There is probably an argument against spending too much time on here and that being unhealthy, but for many it's one of the only forms of support.
D
Deleted member 12723
My husband does not mind how much time I spend on here because I have a laptop and I am sitting next to him so I can talk to him during the day. He did not used to be that way. He used to be very jeolous of the time I spent on the computer which was upstairs. I wish you the best on this problem. I understand how supportive this forum is. It helps me so much.
No. My husband and I both see the benefits of reading/participating in this forum, luckily.
Do you think it would be useful for him to take a look at some of the articles or some of the threads - some of the things that might be useful for him to understand about PTSD for example and how this forum, as a result, helps you? That interaction with others that are in a similar position, is helpful? It's not that you're doubting his support, but unless he's walked in extremely similar shoes, it would be difficult for him to understand what it's like to be 'you'....
Just a thought :)
Do you think it would be useful for him to take a look at some of the articles or some of the threads - some of the things that might be useful for him to understand about PTSD for example and how this forum, as a result, helps you? That interaction with others that are in a similar position, is helpful? It's not that you're doubting his support, but unless he's walked in extremely similar shoes, it would be difficult for him to understand what it's like to be 'you'....
Just a thought :)
I have told my (ex)husband about the forum in the hope it will lead him to the help he needs to seek. He reminded me of how I said I didn't like him being on his forum (a motorbike forum), which ended with him having an affair. I did tell him I was possibly being hypocritical to an extent but this forum is not of that nature.
My problem is my son, who has taken an instant dislike to me being on the forum, he is 21 and been in the Army just over 12 months. He can't give me a reason, maybe he thinks it will lead to what his father did.
My problem is my son, who has taken an instant dislike to me being on the forum, he is 21 and been in the Army just over 12 months. He can't give me a reason, maybe he thinks it will lead to what his father did.
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- #9
I have never been in any forum I only opened account on this one Sunday. I've never been in any support group and haven't spent time on here while he's around. The only support I've ever had was my therapist and doctor and my husbands. And my husbands only began about 4 months ago. It probably is a jealousy thing and he refuses to read anything on here. I tried to get him to join as a supporter. Maybe I'll just tell him I closed it and keep it to myself.
Cherokee, I don't think you need to tell him anything. What you choose to do on internet time is your own time and you are entitled to that. He should not be telling you what sites are ok and you should not have to tell him what you are doing.
I do get frustrated with my husbands bathroom time. I do not know how anyone can read so long on a hard toilet.
I do get frustrated with my husbands bathroom time. I do not know how anyone can read so long on a hard toilet.
Hiding the Pain
Bronze Member
My husband is having issues with me being on here too, but he is not being very supportive about being there for me. I even went so far as to print out a info brochure that Anthony wrote for supporters. I begged him to read it, but when I can back from taking a shower he was fast asleep on the couch with the remote. He had never even opened the booklet. I went back into bathroom and cried for about 20 minutes. It made me feel like the tv was more important to him.
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- #12
Nicolette
Supporter Admin
Okay - I'll be upfront and honest here as a supporter. :bag:
I will say that when I was given the said brochure above, I read it, thought there was no big deal as Anthony was pretty much 'normal' at that stage so I continued dating him. However when he spent hours a day on here I actually resented the forum as it seemed it mattered more than me and I couldn't understand why he could talk to people on here and not me. Even more so when the PTSD hit and he wasn't talking to me (isolating) yet was having online chats with other members. :confused: I would cringe when I walked in the door and he was sitting in front of the computer.
That being said, when he finally invited me to join I found it very helpful for me when going through a *crisis* in not knowing how to deal with PTSD - but it was still hard as he could see what I wrote and then there were the public disagreements which were really misunderstanding by both of us. He could only focus on the PTSD and I could only focus on how his behaviour was hurting me. Then I was given access to the private section and finally got to talk and cry and talk and find support here and then finally understand. I also learned from reading what Sufferers wrote.
So, if your partners are not being supportive I would suggest you look at why as the same thing can look different to two people if coming at different angles. If, like I said, you are isolating and then spend time here (with the intention of helping yourself) it can be perceived as further/additional isolation and the supporter can be left feeling resentful. That is just one example but I suggest you find out why they don't like you being here as it may be something you can address.
There is also the other side of the coin where they may not have accepted your illness or are still in their denial about and that results in the resentment of this forum. Lots to think about. :bookworm:
I will say that when I was given the said brochure above, I read it, thought there was no big deal as Anthony was pretty much 'normal' at that stage so I continued dating him. However when he spent hours a day on here I actually resented the forum as it seemed it mattered more than me and I couldn't understand why he could talk to people on here and not me. Even more so when the PTSD hit and he wasn't talking to me (isolating) yet was having online chats with other members. :confused: I would cringe when I walked in the door and he was sitting in front of the computer.
That being said, when he finally invited me to join I found it very helpful for me when going through a *crisis* in not knowing how to deal with PTSD - but it was still hard as he could see what I wrote and then there were the public disagreements which were really misunderstanding by both of us. He could only focus on the PTSD and I could only focus on how his behaviour was hurting me. Then I was given access to the private section and finally got to talk and cry and talk and find support here and then finally understand. I also learned from reading what Sufferers wrote.
So, if your partners are not being supportive I would suggest you look at why as the same thing can look different to two people if coming at different angles. If, like I said, you are isolating and then spend time here (with the intention of helping yourself) it can be perceived as further/additional isolation and the supporter can be left feeling resentful. That is just one example but I suggest you find out why they don't like you being here as it may be something you can address.
There is also the other side of the coin where they may not have accepted your illness or are still in their denial about and that results in the resentment of this forum. Lots to think about. :bookworm:
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