Anyone Here Changed Their Birth Name ...

[NovemberStar]

Update: I got the papers witnessed, and I signed, paid for and sent the forms off. I'll have my new name officially and legal recognised and acknowledging documents sent to me in about 3 weeks time :)

I felt excited, happy, butterflies in my stomach, but the overwhelming emotion is a deep sense of PEACE. :joyful:

 

[Ronin]

@NovemberStar, congratulation on the shift. And as to answer, I've had a close friend help me with the pick honestly. We agreed the meaning of my birth given name kept, but no it wasn't related to family.

I didn't have a spelling problem; I don't care for spelling much, I care for the meaning. And get used to, not long, about a week and a half? I used to be able to react to 'hey you' and nicknames quite well, it was not a big change about others. It was change with how I viewed my options.

I had more problem changing last name, in 'part of identity given up'. The one I had before expressed belonging to generations upon generations. I felt it's a cut with history. First name was a cut with family of origins, but not that depth.

 

[NovemberStar]

@Kaia thank you for the reply.

I know what you mean about the surname being handed down for generations - I am a sentimental person BUT any conflict about that aspect was a moot point because my grandfather had 3 sons, but only my father had children - two daughters. My sister changed her name upon marriage. If I was going to have children I might have kept the surname as their last name. But since I won't have kids, the name was naturally dying out in this generation.

Spelling was important to me mainly because of how it looked. I could have used 'by' as an ending - the norm for this uncommon last name, but I preferred the 'ee'. It doesn't change how it's said, although if I had gone with 'by' some people would have been unsure how to pronounce it, and get it wrong. With the spelling I've chosen there is little room for error when reading my name written down :).

When you and your friend were coming up with names, what helped you decide? Did you have names you liked already? Did you choose to name yourself after anyone or in honour of anyone? Did you write it down to see how it looked? Was it important for you that it sounded 'right'? In my case, I avoided certain letters and sounds because they - in my opinion - were too harsh sounding. I wanted a name that sounded 'friendly', and rolled off the tongue. Yep - I even considered syllable usage and the order of the names. I'm a name nerd - love looking at names! Always have, so probably an early indicator this would be what I'd do one day. So I researched all about names, and used 'choosing a baby name' websites for some basic guidelines to consider (ie not pick initials that spell bad words - example 'Benjamin Dover' becomes 'Ben Dover' ... Or Sally Tracey Inders becomes STI!)

 

[Ronin]

To be honest, I didn't have much of an idea. About variety of names and such. I didn't have internet to assist me with that, then.

It sounded right because a part of a new lifestyle. It sounded like a promise that's coming true.

I'm not... very sure how to answer most of these questions, I apologize. The deciding process was different. And as I said, it wasn't about estetics, spelling, syllables, or anything like that. It was about what that name symbolized, and name change on itself.

 

[NovemberStar]

@Kaia fair enough :)

 

[Chosen]

I have changed my name! I changed my first, middle, and last name. I started thinking about in Oct 2011, changed it on Facebook in Dec '11, asked friends/professors to call me by the new name in Jan '12, and filed paperwork in Feb/March '12, and the court legally changed it on April 25, 2012. I absolutely love my name. It fits me, whereas my old name didn't. I feel like I am actually me now, that I claimed myself back, and that I own me. My health improved and my happiness improved too. It didn't take too long to get used to (partially because my former name ended in "ah" as well). Now, though, when I hear my old name, it doesn't even belong to me--once my T said my old name, and I looked at him like, who are you talking about? He had to say my old last name for me to realize who he was talking about. People who know me by both names, a lot of them have said that they've forgotten the old name and that the name I have just absolutely fits me. And yes, when you go through names, and you find The One, you do really Just Know it. It's so affirming and empowering. Our names have so much power, and to chose what name you will be called be is incredible! I recommend don't rush into it, put thought into it, but if it feels right, DO IT! It's one of the best choices I've ever made, and has helped me heal and become better a lot! I have gotten flack from ppl, but hey, it's MY name, and I'm the one who can decide what people will call me!

 

[NovemberStar]

@Noah

I couldn't agree more! It is honestly one - if not THE - most empowering and reaffirming steps I have ever taken in my life. Those are the words I use to, to describe it all.

Hard to believe that Ts time one week ago I had NO idea that within 5 days I'd have conceived the idea, and carried though with it!! I usually take so much time to make any decision. I've taken 2 weeks so far to think about what cellphone plan and cellphone I need to choose! Took me weeks to decide on the paint to use for my walls at home.

Yet it's like you said - you just know. I've kept a notebook and the very first name at the top was very close to what I've gone with. All that I added was a suffix to the surname. It came to me immediately. I've got a few pages if other ideas, but all very much related to the name I decided on.

I wish I could bottle the deep sense of PEACE I have from this decision. It's like I've finally found the 'missing piece' to moving forward.

As I said to my T on Friday (before I completed the paperwork, wanted to talk it over with her)'- this won't cure or fix my PTSD. I am still the person who went through the childhood I did. I will still struggle with dealing with the past BUT - this decision is - and will - definitely help me in the way forward.

What it's doing is - it's giving the wee traumatised and trapped girl inside me who went through hell, a way out. It's like when my mother shut me in the bedroom cupboard, I felt trapped and hopeless and felt the world was always going to be this dark, confined space full of terror. It's like this new name is directly giving that wee girl an escape route. I'm still shut in the cupboard, but I have hope and I can believe the future will be different; that I am strong and I do have the courage and determination to break free of the chains of childhood.

It is so incredibly powerful a feeling.

As I told my T - giving me the name I had was the very first thing my parents did for me. IT was the very first decision in a long line of many, that greatly impacted my life.

Going back on the one, first big decision my parents made for me, is very symbolic. The very first decision of THEIRS and I've taken it and said 'THIS IS NOT OK!' I've taken their decision, and IVE critically looked at it and rejected the parts I don't like. That I've decided t keep my first name, is irrelevant. I've been the one to choose it ultimately. I had the power to reject it but I chose to keep it.

I feel really proud of the name I will have. I LOVE that I've practically made up my surname. There are some surnames I really like but none felt like mine. Choosing a name that no one else has (no one came up in my google or Facebook searches) makes it truly mine. It would have felt strange, adopting a pre-existing surname - like I'd become part of a family of strangers I know nothing about but was tied too anyway, however remotely.

I'm going to decorate my lounge wall in honour of my new name. I'm going to order some wall decals associated with winter and get some gorgeous italic font letters and proudly display my new surname across my wall :).

Even though I won't have children, it's like I have my very own family tree. :)

 

[NovemberStar]

Just wanted to post an update - I got my new birth certificate 10 days ago and am wokring my way through the list of people / agencies to change my details. Waiting on my new drivers licence to arrive so I can tick the rest of the list off.

It's only been two and a half weeks and im not using my name widely (for another 3 or so weeks), but already I've found myself having to stop putting my new name down on my work related paperwork!

Feels natural to be the new name already :p

I'm really excited and looking forward to my reveal day and beings able to use my me name name in every aspect of my life. That's been the hardest part - not being able to tell anyone about it when its something I feel so happy about! :)

 

[beautifulpain]

Haven't read thru everything, but wanted to say that I use an alternate name and am planning to make it legal when I can afford the paperwork! Congrats on your new name and really glad you're happy with the change. :)

 

[Lolly]

Congratulations on your new name change, and I'm so pleased you're loving it! My Mum and lil sis have been talking about changing our surname for about 2 years now. They are all in, and actually spent weeks compiling a list of lots of name ideas. They're angry that I won't change my name with them, but I don't see any point. I know that one day in the near future I will get married and take his name.

I hope you don't mind, I was going to tell my Mum and sis a little of your story, it might help them to make a decision :)

Take again, and congrats again! :)

 

[Whirlwind]

Feels natural to be the new name already :p

Congratulations!

I changed my name 7 years ago after thinking about it for a very long time and when I stumbled on my name, I knew it in an instant. I love my name, it always felt right to me. I don't "hear" my old name anymore nor react to it if I hear it somewhere. It really never felt like it fit anyway and interestingly many people comment that my current name does.

Good for you! Whirlwind

 

[NovemberStar]

Thanks guys ;)

only 10 days to go and I'll be revealing my name change :)

I've done vast majority of change-overs - only couple a couple of lose ends to tie off, and most I can't do until closer to the time anyway (ie - NEXT WEEK!!!).

It really hasn't been that 'hard'. Funny what you need ID for and what you don't though... I needed 2 forms of ID to change my cellphone account to my new name, but with the tax dept, I could do it over the phone with no 'proof'. I guess the tax dept don't care who pays the tax, as long as it's paid lol.

2moro it's seeing my lawyer and chaning my house over and updating my Will.