Apathy. Is just giving up worse than fighting this disorder? Really?

[enough]

Bad things happen and my disorder makes them feel catastrophic, cataclysmic. A distortion, but a feeling nonetheless.
I think i was supposed to be trying for a more measured and appropriate response to the bad things that happen and somewhere along the path to mental health my aim got jostled into maladjustment and i find i am headed toward apathy now.
What do you think, is apathy better than reactions based on cognitive distortion? Is true apathy worse?
If i was truly apathetic would I care enough to even ask these questions?

 

[Sideways]

There’s two really common ways that ptsder’s tend to respond to stressors in life:

1) waaaaaay over the top (catastrophising, leaving town, uncontrolled fits of rage etc); or
2) numb (dissociated).

It sounds like you might be alternating between the 2? Apart from the rage option (which often ends badly), the first 2 tend to leave us pretty isolated, and personally, I don’t reckon one is better or worse than the other.

Just different.

Thing is - neither is a healthy, functional way to respond to the world around us.

Gotta get that frontal lobe moving again - responding to stressors in ways that are functional, and make our life meaningful.

 

[arfie]

i don't practice apathy, but giving up the fight was a breakthrough in my own recovery. when i fight my own condition, i end up with all the black eyes and skinned muscles while my self-hatred only grows. acceptance and mindfulness let me proactively, gently and tolerantly care about myself. my condition and the impact i have on the world around me.

insert beatles tune here. all you need is love.

 

[Friday]

If i was truly apathetic would I care enough to even ask these questions?

When my emotions shut off I still know, cognitively, that I “should be” worried, relieved, excited, determined, shattered, enraged, etc. I’m simply not. I’m just also not an idiot. Just because my feelings aren’t working doesn’t mean my brain has also quit working.

Yep. There are probably worse levels of apathy you could descend to. Or better places to climb to. (Hilarious that DGAF can be an improvement, amirite?!? “I’m sorry, I’d have to care MORE to NOT-GAF. Snicker. Life. You can’t make this shit up.). Whilst you’re aware of your own apathy? Is where you still have a choice. Up? Or Down?

I think i was supposed to be trying for a more measured and appropriate response to the bad things that happen and somewhere along the path to mental health my aim got jostled into maladjustment and i find i am headed toward apathy now.
What do you think, is apathy better than reactions based on cognitive distortion? Is true apathy worse?

Ricocheting between extremes is how I basically learned there IS a middle ground. Because, as @Sideways said? Neither is a healthy place to be in. Both ends fighting towards the middle, otoh, is where I learned my preferred stance IN the middle ground. As well as solid reasons to avoid the middle ground, and head towards an extreme. Used as a tool, instead of an involuntary reaction.

 

[enough]

Ricocheting between extremes is how I basically learned there IS a middle ground. Because, as @Sideways said? Neither is a healthy place to be in

I get that, head on hit there. Maybe being in the same groove for so long I have explored my cage and my position on all the major points of contention are set and easily referred to. Is it good? yep, its good. Is it awful? Horrible! And so on through another day, pendulum swinging back and forth.
Taking some time inna place where everything is new, and here for a reason or get it the f*ck out of here. Safe, healthy, not apathetic, not cataclysmic.
Hope I can put some in a hoodie pocket where i can reach it with both hands, I might just need it at a later date back in the groove.
And thanks everyone. Right on as always.

 

[enough]

Gotta get that frontal lobe moving again - responding to stressors in ways that are functional, and make our life meaningful.

thanks, right on. Been there before, making moves to get back