Are Some People Just Too Damaged To Heal?

[saffy]

HI Movin'On

I understand that totally. I have no identity other than one that was conditioned and abused from early age. My life has been disconnected and dissociating for so long.

I think this is why I am trying to really get to know myself. What do I like? What makes me happy, upset, angry, nervous etc etc ect. What are my boundaries?

I suppose it is like reinventing myself to how I want to be, not how they did, or didn't :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[raven123]

My dilemma is that my first trauma occurred when I was young and everything changed after that. I don't know who I would have been. I have nothing to measure myself against. I can't say "I wish things were like they were before" because "before" was early childhood when I didn't yet have my own identity.

MovinOn, I'm in the same boat. My rape happened at 3 1/2 years old then mental and physical abuse the rest of childhood. I've been in a bubble of disconnection since 3. I'm still wondering if there is much of a recovery possible. One shrink did tell me it wasn't possible and I was a lost cause. Not sure if she just didn't care to work with me or not. I fired her after one session. My other therapists seemed to could care less, too, and never had any plans for my progress. They just bullsh1tted me and lied to get paid. I really wonder if God can fix me. God's my last hope for healing in that regard. Man (professionals) has been an absolute failure in that regard. Groups like this website are great, but online is no substitute for in the flesh. Except online, I have no one to talk to. No cash to pay any professionals either. :(

 

[Shellbell]

I think there can be more damage and the journey to healing harder for those who have suffered abuse from a very young age. I have often wondered who I would have been if I hadn't had abusive parents and multiple severe trauma's occur in my life. I don't have a pre-abuse me to compare.

I don't think anyone is a lost cause, although keeping motivation, focus and hope throughout the healing journey can be very difficult, especially when therapy is not an option financially and low self esteem hinders our progress as well.

It is a struggle to keep moving forward, but it can be done. Most mornings I have to make the choice to get up, look after my children and do normal things, because I have responsibilities. I don't have the choice to stay in bed all morning and cry, which is what I would rather do. Each day I make the choice to try to find the positives in each day, to focus on the things my T has suggested, take my medication and try my best. Each day I make the choice to have hope for my future and healing. Some days this is almost impossible, but even when I cannot find the hope for myself, I try to have the hope I need for my children.

 

[saffy]

I really wonder if God can fix me.

Hi Raven123

I like to think that 'god' is something inside us. The truth, the compassion, the empathy and the hope comes from the divine self. The divine self gets guidance to find what is already within. Those who are lost can be found and peace will win over war because this is what we work towards. Those who cannot see the error of their ways are lost and so are those whose behaviour comes from negative chaos. The victims that cannot move forward are lost. Follow the paths to the divine self and you will find yourself.

Choices can cause battles within yourself. But all beings have choice. Which path they choose though will lead them to future places. Which path would you take? :)

I'm feeling very serene today :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[ms spock]

One shrink did tell me it wasn't possible and I was a lost cause.

This is incredibly abusive and retraumatizing. Just because one shrink didn't have the specialised trauma skills required to assist you - that is a reflection on that person and not you. But of course, having been abandoned and traumatised for so long this just compounds your situation.

This person should be struck off for irresponsibility and negligence!

 

[Shellbell]

This is incredibly abusive and retraumatizing.

This person should be struck off for irresponsibility and negligence!

I completely agree.

 

[ms spock]

My rape happened at 3 1/2 years old then mental and physical abuse the rest of childhood. I've been in a bubble of disconnection since 3. I'm still wondering if there is much of a recovery possible.

I was sexually abused from the time I was a small child onwards. I also lived with physical, emotional and etc violence as well.

This makes connection with other human beings very hard.

I, too, wonder at times if recovery is possible. I keep on working on it. It is slower for us.