Are Therapist Suppose To Care About You

[KITcadence]

I have recently been thinking that my therapist has no connection with me. I'm not sure if she is suppose to have a connection with me. I know I'm suppose to tell her things about what has happened to me, but its only been a couple of months (5 months ). However I'm still scared to tell her anything about myself because I feel like she doesn't care about me. So I then start to ask her questions which are not so forward, but in a round about way to verify if she does or doesn't. I'm sure she has picked up on this, but I'm still not sure if she does or doesn't. I'm still not sure if she is even suppose to I feel crazy. I just want help and I'm scared if she doesn't care that I can not open up to her. After reading this I feel like it sounds manic. I am afraid of her I guess at this point, but I don't want to be I just want her help.

 

[mrsps]

My guess is all good therapists care about there clients but it is a different sort of care than the way they care about their friends/family etc. A therapist wouldn't become a therapist if they didn't care about helping people. She may not want to cross boundaries with her clients but im sure she would still care. They want to see their clients grow and help them to grow.
Can you bring this up with her next time you see her, maybe print out what you have written above? It is important to be open with our therapist's so they can actually help. :)

 

[shimmerz]

What is your idea of caring? What part of what she says/does shows she doesn't care? Are her eyes warm? Does she smile at you? Does she show compassion at all? What is the tone of her voice? Does she react in any way to you? I guess I am asking all of these things to try to understand whether you know the signs for caring. I ask this because I used to project a caring attitude onto people who didn't give a damn about me and it took me a long time to figure that out. I expect things can work the other way around as well. Not assuming this is the case, but just asking

 

[Barberian]

A certain amount of distance is required IMHO. If they get too wrapped up in their clients, they, themselves would be worse off than their clients because each client has problems. Add them all up and it would overload the T. Total disconnect is bad too. So how much is enough, how much is too much?

 

[Friday]

I wonder if it's enough for you that you clearly aren't connecting with your therapist?

Or do they have to be the ones to not be connecting with you in order for you to look for someone else that you click better with?

 

[radicalgratitude]

Do you want to share with her? We click better with some people than with others. Right now, I have a therapist whom I click with and I know that because I like sharing personal things with him. I like being vulnerable because I trust that he's not going to hurt me. That came with time, but even when I wasn't sure whether to trust him, I still clicked with him to the point where I was willing to take that risk.

When I was with the therapist I had before him, I didn't want to share with her. I had to really stretch myself to share anything with her. I did, but I didn't feel any kind of cathartic release as I was doing it.

Perhaps you need to find a therapist who shows compassion. That might be a more appropriate fit for you.

For a while in college, I experimented with doing therapy as a career. I did an internship in a psychiatric hospital. I had just begun my own healing, so it wasn't the right timing. I had a flat affect (no emotion) when working with clients because I was afraid that if I showed on my outside how I really felt inside, I would be admitted. I'm not saying your therapist is doing exactly what I did, but I am saying that it might have nothing to do with you. It might have to do with her training, her overall personality, how much emotion was displayed in her family of origin, etc.

 

[d-art13]

How true that is ;) The therapeutic relationship is such a sensitive bond that relies solely on trust. Trusting is so hard with these types of conversations about trauma and abuse. I think we all need to be reminded to talk opening with the therapist about our thoughts and feelings regarding what we need from them out of therapy. Sometimes bringing that to their attention makes all the difference.