Are There Any Emotions That You Cannot Handle, Or Struggle With?

Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
I mostly can't do anger and rage is impossible. Rage equals hurting the body. It just comes out that way and then I'm guilt and ashamed at best or dissociated. I just ... rage is bad in my mind. And anger, isn't bad but isn't an emotion I'm allowed. Other people can get angry but I shouldn't. And I realize there's probably flaws in my logic. I still remember the time I was a kid and my parents and brother were all yelling at each other and I was sitting there and promised myself I wouldn't be like that. Check. I often feel inadequate when I am edging towards anger. Clearly I'm doing something wrong if a situation is angry making. huh

I'm trying to think of what I'm feeling when I call myself lazy. I beat myself up for being lazy and logically I can sort of accept I'm not and that this is my go to when I'm not functioning well and not getting stuff done. But what the feeling is I'm avoiding. Right now I can't tell you
 

Ireusa

Confident
Fear. I cannot handle fear. It is too much and I just go away.
Anger. I simply do not feel anger. A different part of me does.
Sadness: I can feel sad to an extent but I generally shut down if I'm at the verge of crying.

I understand there is a continuum for every emotion so even though I do not feel anger, I can feel frustrated or annoyed.

I can feel joy and enjoy it now. Feeling hopeful and trying to see the positive in most things and/or people has been helpful. My kids have helped me experiment positive emotions and look forward to them.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
Today, I am struggling with persistent thoughts of failure, aftermath mental sweats from flashbacks and general frustration. In this moment, I can not even identify the onslaught outside of my mind’s inner screams. What ever this is... that is what I struggle with. The crashing reminder that despite my toolbox, tips and tricks, cognitive behavioral modification there will be episodes of full blown PTSD that dangle near the edge of reason.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
Grief never stops, I only adjust to it.
Grief comes in many forms.
My sisters husband died and I took her to a grief group...she didn't like it...but I related. I related because my grief was loss of myself thru head injury. Life is not simple, nor are the feelings easy to describe.
Grief is the one that keeps me stuck.
My sister died a couple years later.
More grief.
We grieve about loss of others, understandably.
It is legitimate to grieve the loss of oneself....but less heard of.
I continue to grieve those I have lost, but they are deceased.
I grieve the old me, which is still here.
I dont have trouble with all the other feelings.
Grief is killing me.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
I feel like it must sound selfish to grieve ones part on oneself.
I grieve my work as a therapist.
I grieve the energy I use to have
I grieve the hope I once had
I grieve my ability to give to others that was once a big part of myself


As I think about it, the grief that I have, which seems about myself, it really about my ability to do for others.
I hurt that nobody has words for what I feel. There are no perfect words I know.

Grief is the one thing that I have been unable to overcome. Also, that I cant say things anymore that allows me to connect with others. I feel like my words, or the wrong words are not right., and are unable to warrant advice.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
Reading @brat17 (plus others) helped me revisit the label of grief that churns behind my mental machinery. Loss, for me wraps around my feeling of failure-

of loss of dear ones, relationships, culture, a healthy planet, a feeling of inclusion with a mental health spectrum, connecting during Covid, my vitality or possibly the sense of my well being.
I failed to consistently protect those items above plus those many things that I treasured dearly...including parts of myself.

Yet, my low-level occasional depression or anger is not my struggle. Acceptance is my nemesis, for no matter how many times I made a difference in a microcosm there seemed so much more I might have done. And as I am firmly anchored in senior status...my decline most prevalent in tasking - fleeting thoughts of failure are wrestled to the ground.

Thank you for opening this thread.
 
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enough

MyPTSD Pro
@Recovery4Me: I just re-listened to the now classic podcast by Brene Brown that talks about being vulnerable, and let the player play on through a few more of her podcasts, can't tell you what one it was but hell, they are all good. Anyway, she was very clear about the distinction between shame and guilt and I kind of extrapolated on that myself to start thinking about the subtle differences between grief and acceptance. I don't think acceptance has to be or even could be a way to end grief. Maybe the best thing acceptance does is keep the grief in the right arena, away from anger or self-loathing.
For me grief is like rainy days to the 10th power, I can't stop it or change it but I can dress for it and try to live with it. I am still wet but it doesn't matter as much as I thought it would when I woke up to it. Now that I am aware of that, I get frustrated with myself when I start thinking about what I could/should/would have done to stop the grief from happening. Like you, I have to be aware of the misplaced grief when it shows up. Going along on that ride isn't the way toward the goal of acceptance and trying to forgive myself. It is a reminder that all I can do now is suit up and be wet. Isn't it nice to think that might work next time? Grief distorts all preperations when it hits. Mike Tyson is an ass but he was quoted as saying "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face'. He ought to know. I ought to know.
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
@enough ....thank you. I also recommended B. Brown back in 2014/2015 in a thread: I find her wonderful. So thank you for taking a moment to share an thought concerning my feelings or emotions to assist with appropriation.

But often (as my T has offered) my feelings are neither right nor wrong as they are mine: it is how I choose to act upon them. However, sometimes my flashbacks don’t allow for constant anchoring in the present, so I relive events.

I don't struggle with shame or guilt of my life, but grief plus thoughts of failure for not accomplishing consistent protection of those things I hold dear. There is a failure factor in timing, velocity, breath control, focus, location, sighting properly those target areas within one’s life that can sometimes result in loss for others. Seconds can make a difference : freezing or disassociation a failure. Reality is different for many and mine holds realistic acceptance of failure. Acceptance of such failure and processing the new bundle of fresh cut grief from flashbacks is the means to integration, integrity and moving forward,
 

Recovery4Me

MyPTSD Pro
I had trouble integrating or moving through fear during a reoccurrence of another flashback episode. I don’t fully understand wtf is going on but it appears that dealing with bureaucracy when my arsh is on the line… flips me out during administrative cluster f*cks. Second major episode in too short of a time. Regroup and restarting. Thanks for this thread.
 

Freddyt

Confident
Fear and anxiety (really the same thing?) Just about had a meltdown at a clinic yesterday. Been having trouble with hives so my doctor ordered a bunch of tests. The lady that did mine was not what I needed.
Sat me down and walked off for 10 min. Gets to the computer in front of me and starts yelling across the clinic at someone. Finally get to blood collection and she was using the needle with a hose and the connector for vials on the other end. So she sticks the needle in and then while undoing the other part starts yanking on the needle. I start yelling because it hurts and she actually told me "it can't hurt that much". By then I was starting to shut down.
The rest of the day was just a really bad.
 
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