Are these flashbacks?

[babybear]

Hello! New member here. This post might be a touchy subject for many (as it is for me). I was officially diagnosed with PTSD in February but have experiencing symptoms for about a year and a half. In 2014 I was sexually assaulted by my older brother's friend, followed by a bit of stalking. The assault was not painful. I still feel shame because the assault stimulated me physically. Now every time I have an intrusive thought of the assault my physical body gets sexually aroused. However, mentally and emotionally I am frustrated, upset, feel helpless, and feel very guilty for being physically turned on. I've been a long time lurker and noticed that many other members describe their flashbacks as not just being visual but also experienced through other senses. When I have the intrusive thought the assault plays faintly in my head and then my body produces the same sensations I felt while I was being assaulted. When I think these thoughts I usually break from reality and forget about whatever I was doing briefly. I don't necessarily forget that I'm in the present though, if that makes sense. Is this considered a flashback? I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I just do.

 

[highwaybeauty]

Hi baby bear. I have had a similar experience, I recently had a go at writhing down my experience of sexual assault on paper and during that time I noticed tingling sensations in my private parts. I have no idea why or how to stop it and I too have concerns that a part of me must have "liked it" if my body is having such a response. I too have questions about what exactly is a flashback so hopefully we can get some answers together :) welcome to the forum

HB x

 

[WishfulThinking123]

That definitely sounds like a flashback to me. My flashbacks are often mostly emotional as I don't get a strong picture but, all of a sudden I feel like I am back in that situation and feel the emotions I did at the time. My eyes kind of look to the side and I feel completely immersed in that past trauma for a few moments.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Yes. Physical sensations happen during a flashback. Also, depending how strong it is you may possibly be in the present and past at the same time. I have felt, like I am being punched in the ribs on the right side. The feeling of someone's hand pressing on my neck. Sometimes I lose time from physical sensations leading to other stuff in the shower or bath. Yesterday, I sensed the bright fluorescent lights from the dorm bathroom shining on me while I was in my present day bathroom. This made me cry. Full of emotion that time. Nothing physical.

 

[Keen]

I still feel shame because the assault stimulated me physically. Now every time I have an intrusive thought of the assault my physical body gets sexually aroused

This is understandable, but its important to remember that our bodies were designed to respond with arousal to sexual activity--its not your fault and that doesn't mean you wanted it or like it. It simply means you have a human body that is working the way it was designed to work.

When I have the intrusive thought the assault plays faintly in my head and then my body produces the same sensations I felt while I was being assaulted. When I think these thoughts I usually break from reality and forget about whatever I was doing briefly. I don't necessarily forget that I'm in the present though, if that makes sense. Is this considered a flashback?

This sounds like a flashback to me. I experience physical sensations when having nightmares or flashbacks. Our brains can produce flashbacks for any of our senses, including body sensations and even emotional flashbacks.

If you haven't already, I would try therapy, it can be a huge help in decreasing the flashbacks and the shame.

Best of luck!

 

[blueangel371115]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. This happens to be a lot.