Are You Deteriorating; Stable, Or Improving

[wattle]

If I'd of answered this yesterday I'd of said stable and improving, today is a down day for me, I can feel all the worries and anxiety creeping back....I guess it's still a day by day thing for me.
I'd like to think though that I will get better eventually, I am much better than I was at Christmas or last year, thats hopeful.

 

[PerfectEmpire]

I'm on a roller coaster.

 

[anthony]

whether they consider their overall health and wellbeing to be generally

-deteriorating;
-stable, or
-improving.

I would actually have to say I fluctuate between all three nowadays. For the most part, I am stable. I do deteriorate at times, then I improve again, and become stable for a while longer. Then the cycle repeats again with me.

 

[helena]

Hi Ghost,

I'm a carer not a sufferer so hope it is okay to reply to you.

My significant other has had ptsd as a result of combat and (I suspect) childhood cruelty.

When I first met him (prior to going to the army) he was the most controlled, handsome, charismatic man I had ever met. Years later he was a complete wreck, brain damage, broken nose, injuries a raging alcoholic coupled with insane violence.

It has taken a long time, but I have watched him grow from the depths of despair - disassociation, manic episodes, suicidal, reckless behaviour to not only improvement but also very long periods of stability.

He has not had a disassociation episode for years, he does not have mania anymore (and he doesn't take medication) he is no longer suicidal and although he still gets angry, he has not had a violent episode for a year (that caused him to be arrested at least)

His problem at the moment is trying to deal with all the issues that his previous, reckless behaviour caused and he still has problems with alcohol but... and this sounds a bit strange, he doesn't seem to be an alcoholic anymore either. He seems to now go from abstinence, to moderate drinking (usually when we spend a long time together) to alcohol abuse when stressed or out with his friends.

I sometimes think the ptsd has 'gone' and I am just dealing with the type of relationship problems everyone deals with... but, obviously, I know it is still there, he has brain damage so it isn't going anywhere.

He has never really had therapy either (only just started properly and had 1 session ) so that can't be the reason for the change.

I know ptsd cannot be cured but from my own experience it certainly changes over time and can diminish.

Hope this helps

 

[Onefineday]

I don't really know personally, maybe improving. But I was diagonsed only a year ago, and I haven't got much help until the last few months. I am at that point that I am recognising my problems, and why I have these issues, the things that have caused it all. That means having to go back and acknowledge my past, which in turn bring up a lot of old resentments. So in some aspects it's getting worse, i.e. how I feel about men. Looking back on all the things that were done and coming to the realisation that every thing that happened was caused by a man, either directly of indirectly. So of course coming to that realisation is going to triggers feelings. Maybe in the long run it will be for good, I need to get over these resentments on my own but to do that I need to feel these resentments.
Then in other aspects I'm doing so much better, I'm not a complete emotional wreck like I was a year or 2 ago, back then I was flipping every few days, I just cried and cried, I was going insane basically and about to end it all. Now, I can't remember the last time I cried, other than crying as a normal person would. I have not had a breakdown in a long time.

 

[ebell83]

I would have to say I am currently stable. I don't feel anywhere close to the bottom that I felt a year ago. I feel miles and miles and miles away from that. There are setbacks. I have a bad day, or I get angry. But, I know it can be (and has been) a LOT worse. That alone makes me feel more stable and more in control of my management. It keeps me working towards equilibrium.

Several people have compared PTSD to having a physical scar upon your body. I can see this. It is scarring, but that doesn't mean your body stops working, it just means it works differently because of it.

One of the most amazing things about the human brain as an organ is its ability to heal itself. Your brain will actually work to replace missing and injured parts by utilizing other parts, all without any concious effort by you.

One of the most amazing things about the human mind as an intangible entity is its amazing ability to heal itself. Emotionally, we block and unblock things to survive. Our mind does its this in its own time, at its own pace. It goes to great lengths to strengthen and protect us.

Sometimes, we can work to make this process more efficient, much like physical excercise keeps healthy bodies more efficient. For some, a pill may make them more efficient. For others, cognitive or behavioral therapy does this. You're just finding a way to help your body do what it does naturally anyway.

I guess I'd have to say that anyone who can say they are actively working to improve their quality of life, can say that they are stable, even if they haven't reached their final goal of being "totally cured" of PTSD.

 

[wolfalohalani]

I think I'm improving, though not feeling particularly rock-solid yet I have been emotionally stable. Well, more stable. I'm still under a ridiculous amount of stress, but (echos of another thread) I am able to laugh again - that tells me I'm getting better.

wolfalohalani

 

[suzie q]

Because I am recently educating myself on the subject, I feel like I'm on that roller coaster (and not the roller coaster of love!)

I dealt with my symptoms as they presented themselves. I think by doing that I have become more acutely aware of how PTSD is effecting me. In the past, I assumed my anxiety, hyper vigilance, nightmares, memories, lack of sleep, etc...were all contributed to the diseases I was first diagnosed with. When my medications were prescribed for my benefit and not just a bandage, I guess the PTSD started to kick in.

At first I didn't know much about the symptoms, but have recently understood that by ignoring them, they certainly have not been getting any better, in fact, they took over for awhile. All my years of meds and therapy weren't working to help me stabilize, therefore, duh? look somewhere else.

I had a long time of serenity until some recent life or death situations slammed me to the ground. I don't like not knowing what to do. Reaching out on the forum has allowed me to see the things I can do to help myself manage these feelings/symptoms. Now I am researching professionals in my area who can help me with the treatment end. For me, I don't know if it is curable or not. My job is to take responsibility for my own well being and search for an answer and a way to live to the fullest.

Guess I'm riddin' that pain train buddy...WHOO WHOO!!!

 

[Lionheart]

I am deteriorating physically, stable mentally, and improving emotionally. No matter how I view myself, I will always be susceptible to emotional pain and PTSD "flare-ups", but for now, I am doing pretty good. Now is all that matters to me... it's all I really have.

 

[This Ends Now]

I would say it is like one of those stock market graphs. Overall the general trend seems to be going towards improvement but there are daily (sometimes hourly) swings up and down. Some days the swings are more severe than others. Just like reading a stock market graph my response would have to be determined by looking at it in various intervals of time to get an overall feeling of what is going on. If we go for an entire life analysis then the trend is improving. If we look at the past 12 months then I would have to say degenerating. The incident with officer not so friendly was kinda like the stock market crash of the great depression for me as it triggered months of severe flashbacks, body memories, intrusive thoughts, suicidal behavior, alcohol abuse, etc. I have recovered some from that crash but am still not at my pre-incident level. Over the past month I have surely improved. I am clean and sober. I have done tons of self analysis. I have gotten on the correct medication and it has greatly improved my life. I write daily and read something uplifting every day as well. I am able to eat on my own and get sleep most nights... sometimes even with just "normal" nightmares. The intrusive thoughts are still a big problem. I have tried to reduce the impact with medication, chanting, yoga, breathing exercises and writing. I still scare myself with what comes into my head on a daily basis (sometimes several times a day) but I am processing those situations much better than I was a month ago.

 

[ghost]

The Great Depression

I also compare my mental state to the stock market. My life prior to my breakdown was a gradual linear rise, punctuated with intermittent downturns and recoveries. Now, I find myself drowning in my own 'great depression'.

I don't know much about economics. I don't know how the stock market was resurrected after the Great Depression. I'm inclined to think that everything started from scratch again (i.e. share prices started from nil???). Not sure how this relates to mental collapse.

From an ESU (Eastern Spiritual Understanding) perspective, the resurrection of the stock market could be compared to reincarnation. Maybe someday, in eternity, we'll get to start from scratch again: We'll all have new bodies; new minds, and revitalised spirits with which to negotiate the world - wouldn't that be nice.

...and the people who ****ed up our lives will be the rats and cockroaches crawling through the sewers.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I'm still on my emotional roller coaster, too.

Seems like I take one step forward and 2 steps back some times