Are You Embarrassed And Ashamed To Talk Details w/ Your Therapist?

[Tinyflame]

I feel a sense of embarrassment most of the time, as is, but I have much I will just take to the grave. That being said, things have 'slipped out', and when they're out, embarrassing or not, it's 'over'. That is, I can't take them back so I just carry on.

But I think a T can get a better idea from a bigger picture, and they don't care about it, really, as that is what they do (listen to such stuff).

 

[Rumors]

Yes, it has been difficult but my therapist reminds me that it was done TO me and that it isn't my fault. Shame is a killer when it comes to healing. You have to kick that puppy to the curb or it hinders progress. I still carry a lot of shame but I can at least step outside of my negative cognitions and tell myself that I was 5 and there was no way I had a choice. It's tough.

 

[EveHarrington]

I kind of had verbal diarrhea and shared details with everyone. Even my parents. (Regret that one because they already blamed themselves.)

I don’t struggle with sharing details, but then again that’s not the focus of my therapy right now.

 

[susannahsays]

I am pretty resistant to talking about the details for the most part. The therapist pushes me slightly, but not too hard. I keep telling her nobody wants to hear about that stuff and everybody will hate me. She keeps asking who needs to hear about it other than her. I feel icky because part of me feels like maybe it will upset her to hear the details, but most of me thinks she's heard it all before and doubts it would bother her. It's kind of a no-win situation because I don't want to upset her but you can't tell someone this kind of shit and then not feel like you must be completely worthless when it doesn't affect them at all.

So I guess I don't tell her not just because of shame, but also because I don't feel I can expect her to care. Sounds pretty bad when I write that out... she'd probably be offended if I told her I thought she didn't care about what had happened to me. I think she was offended one time when I showed her a post I wrote about a rupture we'd had where I'd mentioned thinking she probably "didn't care anyway" (about my feelings). Yikes. I feel like an asshole...

 

[Rani G2]

Are you embarrassed and ashamed to talk about details of abuse with your therapist

No. I Do struggle with shame but I Dont have a problem sharing with T. I had previous T where I had difficulty. If I decide he/ she is trustworthy I tell. I hardly talk about my Trauma.

 

[Freida]

Still am -- 5 years in. It has gotten a bit easier but..... :(

 

[frogthroat]

I wrote it down at first for my T to read and I talked about some things in EMDR sessions. It's been a relief to know getting better doesn't rely on going through every excruciating detail. Once she had a general idea of how severe my trauma was it all about focusing on the present, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and learning how to properly take care of myself again.

 

[Deleted member 48076]

Yes for sure.

It is extremely difficult to speak of my trauma in general but to have to identify tiny details of it is somewhat dehumanising for me. I feel I am quite tough on myself regarding the goings-on around my trauma anyway and I suppose my mind forces me to believe that anyone else hearing my story will be just as judgmental!

 

[Freida]

I suppose my mind forces me to believe that anyone else hearing my story will be just as judgmental!

Yep -- been there! I've done way better about that since coming here, because we all have the same stories --- lived thru something terrible, dealt with it on our own, convinced ourselves it was our fault and that no one would believe us. I see it over and over in the dairies and I'm still sorta stuck there myself. The good news? You aren't alone anymore - you are with people who WILL believe you. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 48076]

Yep -- been there! I've done way better about that since coming here, because we all have the same stories --- lived thru something terrible, dealt with it on our own, convinced ourselves it was our fault and that no one would believe us. I see it over and over in the dairies and I'm still sorta stuck there myself. The good news? You aren't alone anymore - you are with people who WILL believe you. :hug:

I love this so much! Thank you! It is crazy how isolating this experience can be and yet when I finally found this forum it was like a revelation! Wow! The thought processes, the patterns, the triggers, the survival mechanisms! I recognise it all! Finally feels like perhaps I haven’t lost it all, I do still fit into a community!

 

[Freida]

Finally feels like perhaps I haven’t lost it all, I do still fit into a community!

Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys! :laugh: :hug:

 

[MyWillow]

f*ck yes. But what helps is my psydoc’s strength. Her reassurance that she expects the unexpected. That she can hear anything I want to tell her.