As They Say, "we're Beating A Dead Horse Now."

[Deleted member 1860]

In relationships? YES! Lying, lying and LYING some more has been the name of the game, so is it any wonder I never believe things when told to me the first time? Never could trust a damn thing my mother said. It was like living in a house of mirrors inside the twilight zone. Yes meant No, or even possibly maybe, then again it could sometimes mean yes.....see where the confusion lies? See why I never get anything personal the first time? See why its so hard for me to trust? Please, tell me 10 times, and be prepared to tell me another 10 times tomorrow, too. Maybe then it will start to sink in, but not if you do something that makes me question it, and then we're back to square 1 and the reassurance starts all over again.

 

[Momofthree]

^ exactly what @Solara said!

 

[shimmerz]

I trust actions. I absolutely do not trust words. People use words to screw with my head. I also believe that dissociation plays a part in this for me. When speaking about touchy subjects (a move would be hugely triggering for me), I can't retain stuff because I am in and out with my own conflicting issues.

 

[Momofthree]

@shimmerz I get the dissociation thing too. One thing that is big for me is loving touch. My abusers all withheld touch in order to "punishing" me (only good girls get hugs, kisses, and cuddles. Bad girls get isolated.), so it's vary important to me that my partner hold me and kiss me a lot when we are talking about triggering subjects. It keeps me grounded and present.