Eleanor
Diamond Member
Well, acceptance is a practice. And PTSD is a big thing to accept. How good are you at accepting "little" things? I ask because, for myself, I am a "do-er" and a fixer". Acceptance is not the first thing I think of when I see something wrong. I immediately go into "fixing" mode. Try to find a solution, figure out the problem. So acceptance for me is putting the thing into a different "box" mentally, the "given" box. I have to say, though, I don't even like to put stuff that is plainly a "given" and can't be effected by me into the "given" category in a wholeheartedly committed way. This probably is what makes me a better than average "fixer", I'll always go question assumptions and circumstances that other people take for granted. Acceptance is not my strong suit - but I do try to practice being accepting of some things. "It is what it is" is the mantra we use at our house.
Shame, as I understand it, is about feeling that we did less than we could have for unworthy reasons. Or sometimes is is about not being as good as we needed to be, worst when we knew we had to improve in the relevant way and hadn't taken the trouble. Lots of emotions lessen with exposure - the moral ones: indignation, contempt, pride, gratitude, shame... not so much. So I guess the start of the answer to the second part of the question is: what is the basis of the shame? Why is it something for you to be ashamed of?
Geek alert! Spock was, of course, half human, and thus not fully able to sublimate his emotion into the service of reason as full blooded Vulcans were able to do. And it was hurtful to him when he tried! Also, the Hulk (if I may be so bold as to mention him) was not irrational when Justified Fury came upon him, it changed his capacities to deal with situations - elevating some abilities, and diminishing others. He did not become bad, merely different and with different capacities for help or harm.
Shame, as I understand it, is about feeling that we did less than we could have for unworthy reasons. Or sometimes is is about not being as good as we needed to be, worst when we knew we had to improve in the relevant way and hadn't taken the trouble. Lots of emotions lessen with exposure - the moral ones: indignation, contempt, pride, gratitude, shame... not so much. So I guess the start of the answer to the second part of the question is: what is the basis of the shame? Why is it something for you to be ashamed of?
Geek alert! Spock was, of course, half human, and thus not fully able to sublimate his emotion into the service of reason as full blooded Vulcans were able to do. And it was hurtful to him when he tried! Also, the Hulk (if I may be so bold as to mention him) was not irrational when Justified Fury came upon him, it changed his capacities to deal with situations - elevating some abilities, and diminishing others. He did not become bad, merely different and with different capacities for help or harm.
