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Asshole

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I spent years with a man with dissmissive attachment style who got irritated with my extreme startle...
Thanks for the "words". I will google them and do some reading. You're absolutely right about the spouses. My husband is from an alcoholic family. His father was a "mean drinker", so he says. And, of course, my husband was also an alcoholic. He quit drinking before we even met. I wish that I had done more research back then. I will probably have my work cut out for me as I "train" him to deal with my problems and learn what it is that I need from him, and of course learn more about what he needs from me.

He has a cousin who we are close to and lives near by. His cousins wife had a previous abusive marriage. So, she really, really understands me. With the help of these two wonderful people, I hope that he will learn some things. While along the way, I have found a new friend that I can be closer too. Since I have no one in my family to "be there" for me.
 
@Stickler , it could be. 2 nights ago we got into a fight solely based on his inter...
I have had this same conversation with my husband. If I tell him my interpretation of a statement he made, instead of explaining it to me-he just tells me that he is stupid and will never talk again. It frustrates me so much. I don't think that he is stupid and I really want to hear what he has to say. But, he has such a low opinion of himself that he thinks anything he says in dumb. I have to constantly tell him that I do love him.
 
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