General Back To The Grind

[ISupportHer]

Back home after what seemed like, no it WAS, a good weekend away at a bed and breakfast. Her mood came crashing down. I know I should not take things personally and that she will have ups and downs but the "downs" on this roller coaster seem so much harder each time. For me too.

Some may have seen a question I posted in the PTSD area asking for sufferers' thoughts about how to approach intimacy. Not sure if that was is the issue but it's been a L-O-N-G time since I initiated anything. I used a lot of those suggestions. Hell, I even tried to put the brakes on.

I just wish I had the option of talking with her therapist to kind of ask what to do. She knows my wife better than I do right now.

OK, I'm done. Getting too personal.

 

[desperate]

Don't think I can help you too much, but I can at least sympathize. But try to bear in mind that at least she is getting therapy. It may take a while, but it should help eventually.
Hope things get better for you AND your wife soon!

 

[Shoka]

ISupporther,

I just replied on your other post, but do prepare yourself before you go to into a therapy session with your wife. Have at least one or two questions or concerns you'd like to raise. I think that is fair. I know I did when I went with my sufferer.

One of the things that got uncovered in the session that I went to was that my home environment was a bit of a trigger for my bf. It was hard to hear that. Perhaps it is the same with your wife since you say "Her mood came crashing down".
Which I mean to take it crashed when you returned.

Maybe you need more weekends away from your environment is what I'm suggesting.

Hang in there

Shoka

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi Support,

This is unlikely to be of much help, but I too oftentimes experience the crashes (and questioning of my value/ self worth) after good moments, or 'hopeful', normal ones.

For me, sometimes there is a genuine specific trigger, but to be honest, I think the happiness, and increase in confidence (of myself) is what causes me to follow such times with self-doubt.

I know that it is very, very diificult, but try to stay calm and patient and most of all, do not automatically "assume" that it is "you", or the intimacy you shared. Try to relax a bit, put it to the back of your mind, and see if she can come around a bit, left somewhat to herself to have a chance to process everything. No pressure.

But don't assume there was something wrong; until you know (and she knows) more facts, it can lead you in the wrong direction. It's unlikely to be personal.

Her own "analysis" of it in her own mind, may help her to pick apart why she feels the way she does, and be more apt to discover something about herself and her reactions that she needs to know.

 

[Nicolette]

Ahhh...yes to what has been said but you have all forgotten the PTSD side of it.

Going out and dealing with people, being away from home, the possible sub conscious stress of what you may have intended for the weekend, the dealing with traffic if you had to drive.......so many things extra to deal with.

If we go away for a weekend and, including having a great time, I expect Anthony to come home and crash. He rarely does that now but he must rest the following day. Carers do not realise how much extra mental stress a weekend away can take.

 

[becvan]

Well put Nicolette!

Also, do not forget that it doesn't matter whether we suffer from good stress or bad stress, it affects us and not in a good way.

Having your sufferer come home after a nice weekend away and crash is very normal for PTSD. Don't fret. She'll come around in a few days (or a week, depends on the person.)

bec

 

[ISupportHer]

I do hear what everyone is saying. There were stressors over the weekend. I forget how bad it is sometimes. I mean, I was having a good time and at least it seemed like she was connecting with me. A little bit like old times. I guess I projected a little. Wanting things to be better.

We're probably one of the last people to get a GPS. Went out to eat following the Inn's written directions. On the way back I said, let's see where the GPS takes us. We got back fine, but it was back roads and even though I trusted we'd get back, She felt lost and I did see that she was starting to freak out a bit.

I guess right now it's a matter of something I observed when I went to her work and was waiting for her and she didn't know I was there and the recent realization of how long this has been going on (Behavioral Health issues in general). Definitely a cycle down for me the last few days.