Back To Trauma Work... Would Be Grateful For Any Support

[Abstract]

I loved what Ms Spock said. :) Ms Spock if you need one :hug:

Hashi, you can do this. One little step at a time.

Remember too that you can take a day of sick leave if you need to. I would never have done something like that in the past but I think it can help a lot and is a legitimate thing to do. Especially at the beginning when things are still foreign and you are the bottom end of the learning curve.

I just don't have the denial/dissociation options any more, and it's rough adjusting to that.

I know exactly what you mean by this. It is a big adjustment. It is also very normal to still have a lot of the trauma stuff coming up. It seems this is important work that you are doing.

One thing that helps me a bit sometimes is to imagine putting it away in a Tupperware container and putting it right in the bottom of the deep freeze. I am not banishing it and it is there to take out again when I am ready.

Remember that your mind was also strong as it managed how you were dealing with it and when. Your reality is no different in fact and you are the same you. The only difference is that you are closer to healing.

And if the job doesn't work out then there will something else better so just do what you do and take it as it comes.

 

[ms spock]

I loved what Ms Spock said. :) Ms Spock if you need one :hug:

Thanks for the hug Abstract.

 

[Hashi]

We stopped trauma work for this month because I started a new job, and I was only going to see my therapist once each fortnight.

Unfortunately, trauma work doesn't seem to want to be put on pause. The unlovely thoughts, body memories and sick sick sick feelings...

Something completely degrading and dehumanising that I have to talk about next.

How many ways are there to say ugh?

Something I've noticed while doing visualisation is that for a very long time everything was about fear, but now it's about darkness. Not a normal place without light, but a realm of darkness. I have an idea what it is, but not what it might do to me or how to approach it. I've never known how to approach it, and now I have to find a way.

 

[Abstract]

Sorry to hear this Hashi. It sounds like you are gaining clarity but with that comes all the awfulness.

I have no doubt you can do this even though it is grim and not what you want to have to do. I am sorry circumstances are not easier. Remember all that awfulness is not yours and doesn't belong to you. It belongs to and with those that harmed you.

 

[Abstract]

Hope you survived...

 

[ms spock]

I hope that the new job is going okay Hashi. It is always stressful the first few months.