Bad Days

[Go Hungry]

Bad times.. I've been missing lots of work due to symptoms and other things.. On tuesday the boss calls me in and lets me know that it can't go on, that people in HR are watching me. Been in a low level panic ever since. Lots of nausea.. I've been able to keep food down, but I feel like I'm going to puke at every moment. Can't sleep. It's scaling up when I'm at work, and today I'm losing my shit entirely.. Dropped a bennie for the fear, but it just won't let up. I'm having to sneak outside in the rain just to try and take a moment to chill. Another thing they're watching, I'm sure. I can't concentrate on my work.. I

I've read that people with disabilities such as ours can request extra breaks to deal with symptoms.. Anybody know about this?

I just live in mortal fear that they will fire me, which the company hatchetman has been out to do since practically forever. And if that happens.. I'm basically done for. No insurance, no meds, no escape. I feel like I'm dying slowly. Can't breathe.. And I'm wanting to hurt myself again.. I know that's the first indicator of irrational thoughts.. I just don't know what to do...

 

[Poofycat]

I don't know the details, but I believe that your employer does need to make special accommodations for you under ADA. I don't know what paperwork is involved, or how much you'll need to disclose to your employer though. Your therapist might know, or you could start a conversation with your HR department by telling them you're struggling due to a chronic illness and asking how to move forward.

 

[Doublemintgum]

Bad times.. I've been missing lots of work due to symptoms and other things.. On tuesday the boss call...

Hi there, Wow that is a lot to deal with. I had an instance at work (when I was working, now on disability) when I was off work for 3 months due to panic attacks/anxiety. PTSD is so commonly talked of now and accepted as real. If you have a doctor or therapist/psychiatrist you would probably have to get a letter. They probably know how much they can say to get you some time off. It would be a good idea to talk to a them. I've had instances where even my therapist/doctor and I talked about what should be put in the letter. You'd be surprised what someone will do to help you if you just ask. I was too afraid, in denial to think I had the right to ask and get help for years and it just delayed the inevitable because I just got worse but once I took that risk (scary) and only last spring (i'm 52) I have been incredibly surprised and grateful that i did because they listened and i am getting what i need now. You are important enough to ask for that. Diane

 

[Notsowild]

Hi @Go Hungry... does your work know about your PTSD? I have accomadatiion at my work. It was set up with HR, my union and my psychiatrist. Also there is no way they can fire you for having a mental disability. I really feel for you, I know how hard it is to work with this disorder.

 

[Go Hungry]

@Notsowild I'm not sure. I mentioned it once to one of the directors, he said to say no more.. Also I checked the 'disability' box in my application for promotion. I've never gone up to HR and straight-up asked for accommodations. Rather scared to do so, because they want me gone. Maybe I can get some help from an old therapist though.. I'll have to look her up.

 

[Go Hungry]

Okay.. so I called my psych and he has something open for 3.15pm... I'm going to ask the boss if I can leave at 2pm. This is terrifying considering that he told me that I can't miss anymore work just on tuesday. I don't know what's going on.. I'm okay for 2 minutes and then flipping the f*ck out for 30... I'm having serious bad urges. I've got this box cutter in my office that keeps looking better and better. I've got to get out of here, but there is nowhere to go. Oh god I'm going to be fired, I'm going to die..

 

[shimmerz]

Smart that you are going to see your therapist. I am certain there is an answer here that you just can't see at the moment. Hang tough @Go Hungry.

 

[Doublemintgum]

Okay.. so I called my psych and he has something open for 3.15pm... I'm going to ask the boss if I can...

Hi. Sending you Big Hugs (If you will accept them) I have also been in a position where I just wanted to end things. It is an awful place to be. Remember that you have been strong enough to survive your whole life up til now. You have taken care of yourself and you are taking care of yourself now. You can do it. :hug:

 

[Doublemintgum]

Bad times.. I've been missing lots of work due to symptoms and other things.. On tuesday the boss call...

Hi there, I just saw your post from Last Spring talking about getting your job and how you aced it. So there is proof that you really can do it! My thoughts are with you today and hope that you look at your old post. It is inspirational!

 

[Poofycat]

@Go Hungry just curious to hear how it went with your T yesterday? Were you able to come up with a plan for how to approach your job moving forward?

 

[The Albatross]

Check in @Go Hungry? How are you doing?

 

[Go Hungry]

Hey guys.. Doing much better. I got to my doc on time, and despite some delays due to 2 emergent situations, they got me in to see him.
Our conversation was pleasant.. by that time I had really cooled down, but I told him everything as I should, about the stuff at work and how I had been simmering in panic ever since. Then yesterday, ka-blammo!! I also told him that my normal dosage of lorazepam didn't so much as scratch it. So he upped my dosage and said he wanted me back in two weeks. I got two doctors notes and then went by HR to get the FLMA setup in case I need it in the future.

There was minor mixup on who the FMLA stuff went too, but I think that is cleared up.. Better double check to be sure..