Basic Human Rights

[Lionheart]

Here are some of the human rights that I learned in therapy. I found them to be very helpful because I had been stripped of all of my rights. I hope you will find them useful too.

I have the right to....

...be the ultimate judge of myself.
...determine and direct the course of my own life.
...remember, discover, and speak the truth about the abuse and my abusers.
...be believed.
...make mistakes.
...say, "I don't know."
...be illogical.
...live by my own rules.
...all of my feelings.

I have the right to...

...confront anyone who is neglectful, abusive, or hurtful to me.
...walk away from any person, place or situation that I cannot or do not wish to deal with.
...choose who I will relate to and how I will relate to them.
...say, "no."
...privacy and personal space.
...separate myself from those who are unsupportive, unloving, or overly-critical.
...to feel good about myself regardless of other people's opinions, actions, etc.

I have the right to...

...happiness, love, health, and peace regardless of the past.
...set my own priorities for the use of time, space, money, and energy.
...to a fun, exciting, healthy, sexual relationship with a person I choose as a lover.
...free myself from guilt and worry.
...trust in the goodness of myself.
...say who touches me, how, where, and for how long.
....object to being touched.

I have the right to...

...say, "I don't care."
...say, "Please help me."
...set rules and boundaries about what is acceptable and non-acceptable to me.
...reject the company of anyone who cannot or will not respect my boundaries and limitations.
...to develop myself as a whole person; emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually.
...leave the company of anyone who deliberately or inadvertently fails to respect me as a person.
...not to be bullied, pressured, or intimidated into doing or saying anything that I do not wish to.

If you all find these basic human rights to be helpful for healing, I will be happy to share more of them with you.

 

[Lsquaredw]

These are wonderful and just what I needed to read tonight! Thank you so much! :)

 

[janej32]

Thank you for sharing! :)

 

[Lionheart]

I am glad that you like these, I found them to be very empowering. Here are some more basic human rights;

I have the right to...

...defend myself against any mental, emotional, verbal or physical attack.
...not speak about the abuse until I am ready.
...speak my peace, voice my opinion, share in a group w/o being labeled, belittled, disregarded, or criticized.
...do what is best for me based on my own feelings, perceptions, and judgement.
...rid myself of any shame or guilt that is tied to the past.
...trust my feeling, perceptions, intuition and inner-experiences.
...loving, non-sexual, non-abusive relationships with family/children.

I have the right to...

...choose a lifestyle, (including a sexual lifestyle) that is comfortable for me.
...refuse to accept responsibility or blame for the actions and decisions of others.
...have healthy, happy children who are safe from abuse.
...decide whether or not I wish to work towards forgiving anyone and the right not to forgive.
...offer no reasons or excuses to justify my feelings or behavior.
...change my mind.
...focus on my own needs and wishes.

I have the right to...

...personal privacy.
...say, "I don't understand."
...express my positive and negative feelings (as well as the right not to express them)
...ask for advise from others.
...accept or reject advise from others.
...tell others how I want to be treated.
...get what I pay for and be paid what I deserve.
...change and expand in new directions.
...be seen and heard.

Please feel free to add any rights to this list that I may have over-looked. Thanks!

 

[Anna]

Did anyone else experience in a person they trusted, that they made you feel like you were a liar, and that your memories were not real?

 

[janej32]

Yes!

 

[Lsquaredw]

Absolutely! It is unfortunate that that happened, but it certainly does!

 

[joeylittle]

Reopened

 

[Lionheart]

My basic human rights are still fairly new to me and I need to review them from time to time, not only to ensure others treat me well but, that I treat myself well also.

Can you think of any to add?

I wanted to add this one....

I have the right to a loving relationship with someone I choose, in which my thoughts and feelings, wants and needs, love and trust, are honored.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Wow, this is powerful!

ETA:

Can you think of any to add?

Between your three posts, you covered way more than I could think of; this is amazing but hard to accept!

 

[Changing4Best]

I did not have a chance to read them all, but I have a right to decide upon what TV shows and music will be played in my environment for at least some of the time each day. I have to add this one, as it is something so basic to my survival! I will read all of yours later, but I have to leave to go out right now, sorry!

 

[Sideways]

I really love this - it's so empowering.

Just one comment: I think that we need to see the people around us, including non-ptsd'ers as potential allies, if not crucial to our recovery. I'd like to think that we should have to give reasons for our behaviour if they effect others in a negative way. We are responsible for our actions, regardless of our ptsd, and if we f*ck up, people are entitled to know why, especially if we hurt them. I think maintaining that degree of responsibility for our behaviour and actions is an important part of the recovery process. By the same token, we have the right to a loving relationship, but we don't always get our first choice - that's life. Sometimes people don't love us back.

So don't get me wrong- I do really love this. But building healthy relationships does mean accepting responsibility for our actions, and respecting others if they choose not to be in our life...

I think that could be just as healing:)