Bass music is making me ill.

[Drew F]

We bought a house 2 years ago and everything was great until our neighbour got married.

Christmas is always hard for me as my dad used to go crazy and beat my mum and us so I was already on edge. Then the loud bass music from next door started.

I started getting really nervous, then angry then upset and was depressed on christmas day.

Irrationally I was scared to go speak to them incase they thought I was mad.

My partner has tinnitus and was telling me it isnt as loud as I think, this made me feel even worse.

So last friday loud music again, same panic and upset, it's a semi detached we live in and the bathroom is the only place i cant here it. (Thank god got the fan)

Last night it was louder than ever and I hot the courage up to go next door. They ignored the door twice so I put a letter through the door and spent an hour sitting in the bathroom panicking and in tears. I've been on edge for the noise to start since christmas and just really not comfortable in my own house.

The other thing they have been doing Is using a surround system and the whole house rumbles, even after the note they had the tv blaring tonight but thankfully not music as that's s worse trigger.

I honestly thought I was doing okay but over the last 2 weeks I'm having a hard time coping and have looked into therapy.

The neighbour came to my door at lunchtime but I couldnt answer as I was so depressed and exhausted. I can't sleep as I'm having nightmares about horrific things from my past and it's all teiggerd by music. I'm only now seeing how bad it can effect me.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks

Drew

 

[Sideways]

The neighbour came to my door at lunchtime but I couldnt answer as I was so depressed and exhausted.

I personally always try and start neighbour issues with a conversation. Keeping calm, and putting a human face on the issue, and trying to come to an agreement with them (for example, Saturday lunch might be reasonable time for a lot of noise, but could they be more mindful when it's late?). It's a lot more difficult for people to completely ignore a friendly, respectful neighbour in person than it is to a note slipped under a door, yeah?

And, since that's going to be tough, maybe ask your partner to go with you, and use it as an opportunity to get to know each other - faces and names, often makes a big difference. You can more easily talk to them about issues, and vice versa.

Noise cancelling headphones for when your in panic would probably be helpful - try not to go too cheap, because you tend to get what you pay for.

Then maybe consider your tactile soothing options that you can use with headphones on, noise drowned out - if you're in the bathroom why not run a bath, run on some scented lotion, or put a blanket and pillow on the floor and do a guided relaxation or guided meditation.

All just suggestions. Hopefully something in there will be helpful. Noisy neighbours are everywhere, and I've had my share of panic attacks over issues with my neighbours. And while sometimes it was a case of calling the police, most of the time I actually got the best outcomes when I fronted up, introduced myself, showed some genuine interest in knowing them, chatting about safety issues in the area, and that often opens the doorway for conversations about ways to live in some degree of harmony, rather than becoming enemies with the people next door, which personally I just couldn't handle.

 

[Drew F]

I personally always try and start neighbour issues with a conversation. Keeping calm, and putting a human face on the issue, and trying to come to an agreement with them (for example, Saturday lunch might be reasonable time for a lot of noise, but could they be more mindful when it's late?). It's a lot more difficult for people to completely ignore a friendly, respectful neighbour in person than it is to a note slipped under a door, yeah?

And, since that's going to be tough, maybe ask your partner to go with you, and use it as an opportunity to get to know each other - faces and names, often makes a big difference. You can more easily talk to them about issues, and vice versa.

Noise cancelling headphones for when your in panic would probably be helpful - try not to go too cheap, because you tend to get what you pay for.

Then maybe consider your tactile soothing options that you can use with headphones on, noise drowned out - if you're in the bathroom why not run a bath, run on some scented lotion, or put a blanket and pillow on the floor and do a guided relaxation or guided meditation.

All just suggestions. Hopefully something in there will be helpful. Noisy neighbours are everywhere, and I've had my share of panic attacks over issues with my neighbours. And while sometimes it was a case of calling the police, most of the time I actually got the best outcomes when I fronted up, introduced myself, showed some genuine interest in knowing them, chatting about safety issues in the area, and that often opens the doorway for conversations about ways to live in some degree of harmony, rather than becoming enemies with the people next door, which personally I just couldn't handle.

Thank you, I will try that once I can brave leaving the house. I may get my partner to speak with them for me, as I feel like I get flustered when talking about this.

I have noise cancelling headphones, I totally forgot about them in my melt down.

Thanks again:)