Be Careful What You Wish For

[Sandstone]

A date has been set to start working on actual trauma, with twice weekly sessions. I'm to be in the respite care place for the month of July, if they can get the funding sorted.

I can't believe any words will come out. If they do, I will finally face that moment where someone else agrees there isn't enough there to justify my claims to be ill. Talking about it will probably kill me.

I'm working through a skills workbook to help arm myself, but oblivion looks a much more tempting alternative. I daren't go at it too fast, but I'm feeling a rising tide of panic that I won't be prepared.

I tell myself it will be like abseiling - there is that moment where you have to step backwards over a cliff into nothing, and then it is all right. I don't believe it yet. Could any of you convince me?

 

[digger]

I can't believe any words will come out. If they do, I will finally face that moment where someone else agrees there isn't enough there to justify my claims to be ill. Talking about it will probably kill me.

Or, hopefully more likely, you will get validation and understanding about how this shit affects people.

I can't convince you of anything, still being in the thick of it, but I am glad to hear that you are finally getting more support.

What workbook are you using? Is it something that's been recommended you use to prepare for the work you will be doing?

 

[Sandstone]

The book is Suzette Boon's " Coping with trauma related dissociation, Skills training for patients and therapists. It wasn't recommended, but I'm finding it suits me better than the others I've tried, and most importantly frames the skills in way that enables me to take them on board as something I need to do, rather than a theory to skim over. I don't feel prepared, equipped or skilled to meet what is coming, so it seemed a good idea to do something.

 

[scout86]

I don't feel prepared, equipped or skilled to meet what is coming,

One would hope that the people you'll be working with ARE prepared. Remember, they are supposed to be on your side and they are supposed to be there to help you. If you had all the answers, you wouldn't be seeking their help.

I think you'll do just fine!