Been Lost My Whole Life

[CBX9]

I don't think anyone else is like me. I'm a freak.

You are not a freak dude. Just made some bad choices. You say your family wasn't there for you but I "have a friend" who's doing fine. He suffered abuse, almost or did get raped, etc. and he's almost an adult now. He's already a young man like me. He has a girl friend, an ex-girl friend. He lives pretty much on his own with the help of a roommate I believe. Look, everybody doesn't have good luck but the will to get better and wanting it like actually wanting to get better takes patience. He has a lot of things going for him. I hate to admit it but I'm actually jealous of him as well other people who are doing good in life. Even though I'm jealous though, I still want the best for him. As well as others who deserve to be called friends or good people I guess. Everybody has at least one redeeming quality in themselves Jemini. You just got to find out what it is, inside you, the way you used to be before you felt this way. Once you find that, I'm sure your life will start changing. Just got to have patience man. I hate it too, everything just takes time. Don't think of yourself as a freak though. You're a human being. A freak would be a guy who smells girls' hair and jack off to men everyday! XD Just kidding man, the point is that everybody has problems too and together as a people we strive to help those in need(not criminals, murderers, etc.), you understand? ^_^