Been Suffering From Ptsd For Several Months Now, And I Feel I Can't Control My Anger At Times.

[Kashi]

Throughout ALL of public school, I've been bullied, teased, you name it. It feels like I've been suffering all my life. Teachers, and students alike always tried to bully me; they always tried to make my life as miserable a hell as possible, and when I think about it, I just lose it.

Sometimes I either space out and lose my connection to this world, or yell. They weren't all at fault, though, and when I come to this realization, I just feel a lot of anger. I was mean to people sometimes, and I played mean tricks on them. It made me believe that I deserved some of the stuff they did to me, and as a result, I just feel like I was angry over nothing.

But I'll always feel anger towards both them and myself; I'll hate them for teasing me, and I'll hate myself for playing tricks on them.

 

[WillyKat]

I've had a lot of anger of the past few months too. Recently, my therapist said something really helpful. See I was trying to be too understanding and thinking that maybe I shouldn't be angry. But what she said was that I had a right to be angry. That trying to bottle it up made it that much more intense and hard to control.

When she said that, all the out-of-control rage I was feeling went away, for a couple of weeks anyway. What remains is a lot less intense and doesn't last as long. Maybe that would work for you.

In other words, try to tell yourself that its OK to feel some anger. Understand that you have a right to be mad. Don't tell yourself it's completely wrong. Try to let it out of the bottle in a controlled way.

Take care!

 

[rockyspine]

I struggle with anger too - mostly sudden rage like I am actually upset about some larger issue but then I am stuck in traffic or something and I just lose it and am so anxious, angry, terrible person to be around. And I can't control it. So I think that's very normal and so far, one of the hardest things in my recovery to overcome.

Lately, I have been writing down things that make me angry and why. And also when I have an "episode" of uncontrollable rage or anxiety and what was happening at the time. I've noticed some things. For example, one thing that makes me angry is my family (go figure, I'm sure lots can relate, lol). So I wrote that down, and why they did. All logical. But when I actually freak out, it's in line at the grocery store because it's taking too long, or driving because I think people are terrible drivers. But the real issue in each is that I had TIME to think. So the wait in line, and the wait in traffic gave my mind space (already being a little grumpy from each normal situation) to explore the things I was really mad about it, and I was just making it into this thing and saying "Oh it's the line, it's slow" when really I'm thinking, "Oh I have to visit my mother tomorrow, I wonder what she is going to say to me then".

Not sure if that would help, but worth a try. Hope that helps.