I'm not sure what it means anymore to be happy or what it is to be "normal" whatever that is. Through the years i have gradually slipped away...more times than not I'm wondering what happiness is and if people really have this feeling. Again it's been a long time since I knew what happy is. I'm not sure if it depression or if I'm just defective. It sure feels like I'm the defective one that can't enjoy what I have.