Benefit Of Hypervigilance?

[Canotia]

I'm just tired. I don't relax even in my home. I don't know what it feels like to not be exhausted, but I would like to know. I'm tired of my heart rate doubling because I am standing in line and there are people behind me. I'm tired of every night having my eyes glued to my bedroom door until I just fall asleep. I can't do meditation because I never, ever close my eyes. I go to my appointments and see people actually falling asleep in the waiting room, I can't imagine doing that. I don't know, I think I wear myself out and it never protects me.