Betrayed Wives Being Diagnosed With Ptsd

[Gs172003]

Some of you know that my now husband has a past porn issue and is going to a group for men with sex addiction issues. Apparently some of the wives of the men in the group keep getting diagnosed with PTSD based on finding out about their husbands betrayals be it porn or something else. When did this become a good thing to do?

 

[hodge]

Maybe they have other issues? If not, I don't know.

 

[ladee]

This is simply my observation and am by no means qualified to express anything other than those observations.
From just being a member of the human family, I see us seeking out people who somehow trigger issues for us.
I know for myself it was totally unconcious. I have had PTSD for as long as I can remember. Not a wife diagnosed...just a PTSD survivor attracted to crappy men.
I feel many of these women already had a form of PTSD before engaging in relationships with men who would be abusive. Just the added trauma of the relationship brings their own buried trauma to the surface.
I know that was very simplistic. But I do feel it is that simple.

 

[hodge]

I was just thinking the same thing, @ladee, but you put it better than I would have.

 

[VioletButterfly]

We repeat what we know. What go toward what is familiar. We accept what we believe we deserve and what we think defines who we are. Been there, done that. Isn't that how CPTSD comes into being? One layer at a time? For me, yes.

 

[The Albatross]

Personally it bugs me maybe more than a bit too... betrayal v.s. PTSD... though I've experienced both - it doesn't even add up to a little "t" trauma for me. However the prevailing profession for this trends apparently to disagree. To me, it marginalizes my and others big and little "t" traumas... betrayals are to me another distinctly different animal/beast altogether.

@ladee - perhaps, perhaps not. Hard to say, hard to either refute or confirm. I expect a lot of it has to do with the person being able to trace back/be aware of past traumas. A lot of times in my experience, a seemingly initial scale tipper has ties back to an original trauma however it is not always the case. Sometimes language is conscripted - who can say? Not I.

 

[Gs172003]

Personally it bugs me maybe more than a bit too... betrayal v.s. PTSD... though I've experienced b...

I can't say that I agree that it's not a little t for most. But it's not enough for PTSD for sure. But you all could be right about the undiagnosed.

 

[The Albatross]

You can agree or not as you choose of course. I'm straight up tellin' ya betrayal was not in my top 30.

 

[Gs172003]

You can agree or not as you choose of course. I'm straight up tellin' ya betrayal was not in my t...

* note to self...stop skimming while you read...

Sorry I thought you meant in general not just for you.

Betrayal sucks especially when you think you've got someone you can finally trust and they let you know haha no...you can't.

But that doesn't hold a candle to alot of worse things.

But that to alot of people IS still a "little " t.

Still apples and oranges to what causes PTSD. They may have something... Or maybe have already had it...but it's not from this.

 

[ladee]

I also feel that betrayal does not make for PTSD. It bothers me too and I feel my own PTSD is trivialized by that DX.
I would only hope that if in fact these women have PTSD they go on to get help just as we have had to do. And find out that was simply a trigger.
But to say betrayal alone causes PTSD is bs.
Hopefully this is one of those 'fad knee jerk' labels and as more is learned it can go back to 'trauma related to betrayal' and not blown up to be PTSD.
Just my 2 cents.

 

[Gs172003]

It actually ticked me off when he told me

 

[hodge]

Totally understandable, @Zoogal. That's how I feel when my mother says she thinks she has PTSD because my father left her. She is way more functional than I am and she's 78.