Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[amethist]

I love the Subway touch Jawn, daft as it may sound, keeping it all easy and relaxed is the best way to go with everything.

It may seem as if everything is falling apart in a way, but from what you have posted so far, your wife is already showing signs of being calmer and relaxed. So look at it as a step in the very best direction.

Go out and have some relaxed friendly fun with her, like you were teenagers again. You are doing everything right, be proud of how you have handled all of it.

Amethist

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jawn,

I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.

ITL

 

[Jawn]

Well she spent about 4 hours here today and we seemed to enjoy each others company. We worked in the yard, packed more of her stuff, and finished cleaning the house. She made a comment at one point to where she said "when I come back". I just smiled at that. A very BIG smile. ;-) She did ask me if I told her parents about her moving and I said no. Apparently they found out and her mom called her today. No biggie, but she was going to tell them herself. That lead us to talking about her issues and stuff. I even shared with her that I told her Dad off a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to know the details and in the end, I think she was glad that I did it. I think it surprised her though. I told her that I was here for her no matter what. She patted me on the arm and said she knew that.

She shared with me that she will be starting EMDR on Tuesday. Hopefully this helps her to get better and eventually come back home to me.

I am picking her up in the morning to go to the State Fair. Hopefully it will be a fun and relaxed day. I do think I pushed a bit today though. Not too long before she left, I told her I was very happy that she would be coming home at some point. She quickly said "we don't know that yet, but it is a possibility". I then told her I was happy that it was a possibility. I think I need to not get too excited and push like that.

Thanks everyone,

Jawn

 

[Tessa]

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I know I needed lots of silence and alone time when things were bad.

Take it in small steps and I hope it all turns out well in the end.

Take care
Tessa

 

[Tinyflame]

Am sending prayers too-
Meg

 

[seedling]

Can't really blame you for getting a little excited and pushing some. If patience only came easy:)

 

[mrbarthel]

I am praying for you and your wife my friend. It is so very hard to be apart from those we love. Stay strong for you and for her. You will have good days and bad days but that is ok, just stand back up and be there when she needs you.

 

[ISupportHer]

I continue to read your thread and hope for the best for you.

Not sure how this will turn out but am so glad you are still with us here. You are truly blessed with the support you have gotten here. It doesn't directly change what is happening to you but it sure helps to know that others support you here.

ISH

 

[Jawn]

Thanks mrbarthel and ISH. It is a big help to know there are others here to "listen" and to give me feedback when I need it. Also knowing that you folks understand what I am dealing with is a HUGE help too.

We went to the state fair today and had a fairly good time. We looked at stuff, laughed, and shared some food. I hugged her a couple of times and even lifted her up so she could see over the crowd at one point. She was OK with all of that. Afterward we went back to her place and talked for a while. Mostly just small talk, but she did share a few things with me. We talked about the EMDR she will be starting on Wed. morning and I told her what I knew about it. Most of it matched what her T has told her, but I think I ended up telling her a bit more than what the T has at this point. It all seemed to go OK and she did tell me that she is worried a bit about what will come up since she doesn't know what her trauma is, but she is guessing she was "abused" as a child. She said she would probably never tell me the details of it and I said I was fine with a 1 or 2 sentence "overview"......whatever she is comfortable with. She also said that if it is a family member that she might not ever tell me who because she doesn't want to see me go to jail. ;-)

I ran back to the house to get some stuff she needed and while I was gone she cut up some strawberries and put them in a container for me to take home. As I was leaving for the last time I put my arm around her and she hugged me back.

I think this day was full of small positive signs and I will take what I can right now. I know the EMDR may cause things to get worse for a while, but hopefully she will get through it and start to live again.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Things do sound like they are going well Jawn. I think she just doesn't want to get your hopes up.
Hugs,
L

 

[AdamAnt]

Obviously, you are a big part of her life Jawn, and I don't know if this is a consolation or not, but I'd be willing to bet that even if she doesn't come back she will always want you close by.

I can't help but think how special the time you do have with her must be to you, and you are blessed that they are good times for her...so many times it seems that PTSD robs us carers of the good times. It can be good to miss each other. I'm betting that should things work out you will never take the good times for granted (not that you did..dang, you know what I mean! :)

 

[Jawn]

I didn't get to see my wife yesterday except for passing her on the road when I was driving home from work. She did wave at me though.

My sister-in-law called me to see how I was doing and to tell me again that she is convinced that my wife will come home when she is healthy. I asked her why she was so confident in thinking that or had my wife actually told her that? She said no not directly, but in everything she is saying/doing that all the "signs" are there in her opinion. She told me, she has said "when I come back" a few times to my SIL as well, she has moved out because she is trying to protect you, many other things she says/does are about you and shows she still cares. She just needs to get better, so she can figure things out when she can think normal again. Needless to say, that all put a big smile on my face last night.

I know I need to give her plenty of space and time to deal with her treatment, but I am feeling much better about things now. Hopefully that trend continues.....

My wife did leave me a voice mail today to tell me that she had talked to her Mom last night and that it went "OK". She said she would fill me in on the details later.

I have a new project at work to focus on which is good and I will keep busy with projects at home too. I just got a freelance writing job for an article for a diabetes magazine which should keep me busy for a few evenings. I also will be going to dance lessons soon too. So I am trying to stay busy and upbeat, but also be there for my wife if she needs me in any way. I told her I was there for her if she needed to talk, a hug, or just needed me to lift something heavy. ;-)

Thanks,

Jawn