Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[seedling]

I think your T's suggestion is a safe one. On the other hand, if you put it up at home you can make sure to tell her the spirit in which you chose it when she sees it. Just be honest and mention it when she first sees it so she won't have to guess what it means.

You must really miss her, take care.

 

[Iam]

Oh Jawn...your love for your wife is so awesome ;o) Keep up the patience...you are doing the right thing ;o)

 

[mrbarthel]

I am keeping you in my prayers Jawn. It will get harder some days and you will also have some great days. I think my wife is coming home very soon but it has been a tough few months. But I can tell you love your wife, stay strong but let her know that you still need her, just try and balance it out.

 

[Jawn]

I hope your wife does come home soon mrbarthel. You & your wife have been in my thoughts and prayers too.

Jawn

 

[amethist]

I wish both of you every hope for a wonderful end to all this.

When I look at my husband and see how far he has come, I know both of you, with time, patience and understanding, can find a way back.

Take good care of yourselves along the way.

Amethist

 

[Jawn]

I haven't seen my wife since Sunday, although I have communicated with her via email and phone calls. When I talked to her Wed. evening, I asked if we (my granddaughter and I) would see her Friday evening or not. She said she didn't think so since after taking care of the dogs at home, she would have to run to her place and take care of those dogs and would probably be too tired to come back. I suggested she just go to her place after work, pack a bag, and bring her dogs out to the house and spend Friday/Saturday nights with us. She said she'd think about it. I really hope she does, but I am prepared if she doesn't. Tomorrow is my company picnic and she is going to that with us, so I know I will see her for a few hours this weekend. Otherwise, my 3 1/2 yr old granddaughter will keep me busy and wear me out! ;-)

Patience......I need a big injection of patience.....I have seen a few more things disappear out of the house this week and I am trying to NOT let it bug me. Sigh....

OK, almost time to go pick up my granddaughter.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Hang in there Jawn. I know it's got to be hard, but your wife is spending time with you tomorrow for sure! This is a tough journey for both of you, but you can get through it. She will love you even more for sticking by her.

 

[Jawn]

Thanks Iam. She wasn't here tonight when we got home. I called when I was on the way and left a message here at the house and on her cell. No answer and no call back. Sigh......when I was coming up the driveway I saw lights on in the house and my heart jumped because I thought maybe she was here. No, she just turned on some of the lights because she knew it would be dark when I got home. So hopefully she will still go with us tomorrow. I thought maybe she would leave me a note like she does sometimes, but not this time.

Kaley will keep me busy the rest of the weekend though, but I really hope my wife does go tomorrow. I've got my fingers AND toes crossed! ;-)

Jawn

 

[Deleted member 6617]

You are so strong and patient. I hope this all has a happy ending!

Hoping she goes with you tomorrow too. Crossing my fingers and toes for you as well.

Take Care and Keep Hope Alive! PH

 

[Jawn]

Well she is out getting a hair cut and other errands this morning, but is going to meet me to go to the picnic. Not sure if she will be around after that or not. I hope so 'cause I really miss her and Kaley keeps asking "where's grandma?"

Ok, time to get ready to go now. I'll post more tonight.

Jawn

 

[Jawn]

Thanks Iam and PH. She went with us to the picnic, so we had about 4 hours together today. She mainly focused on Kaley and was friendly, but kinda distant towards me. When we first picked her up, she told Kaley "Grandma wants a kiss", so after kissing Kaley I asked her if she wanted one from me. She said "no thanks" which is what I expected. No hugs today, but she did tell me she was tired because she stayed up late 2 nights this week. So she headed back to her place after I dropped her at her car because she was going to bed early tonight. Kaley asked me again "where's Grandma" as she was going to bed tonight. Sigh....hard to explain in a way a 3 yr old can understand.

I asked my wife if she wanted me to pick her up from work tomorrow, so she could ride along when I took Kaley home. At first she said no, but then later she said she would let me know tomorrow and it would depend on what kind of day she was having. She gets off at 1pm, so I think Kaley and I will plan on being there at 12:45 or so. At least Kaley & I can see her for a few minutes even if she doesn't go with us. I also asked her about her EMDR and she has still only done prep work at this point. I guess the T put off EMDR for a couple of weeks while they talked about all the changes going on in my wife's life and such. Any way, this week she said that is going to be the focus.

If I focus on the positives today, it was a pleasant time and we got along OK. She also said "ours" and "we" a couple of times when we were talking about things. I was going to ask her about the holidays (i.e. are we spending them together with her family like normal), but I decided that after asking about EMDR that maybe I shouldn't push it since they are not on the immediate horizon.

All in all, it was a good day.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

I'm glad that you got to spend time together Jawn. Even if she was a bit distant. Unfortunately withdrawing and distancing is part of PTSD. My girlfriend has said I've been that way for weeks now. It is very hard for my husband and friends. Sometimes I just can't help it. It sucks.....


From what I have researched there should always be a lot of groundwork done before starting EMDR. My T has been working with me on gaining a good frame of mind in preparation for the EMDR. I am sure the specialist that I'll be doing the
EMDR with will too. I hope so anyway. Frame of mind and establising a "safe place" that the person can go to in their mind is essential.


Good luck tomorrow Jawn. You two are in my thoughts and prayers ;o)