Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[Jawn]

Thanks PH and seedling. So does Tom Hanks play me and Meg Ryan my wife in that sappy movie? lol

Well she came by this morning and dropped off 2 dogs she took back to her place last night to help ease the burden on me here. I only saw her for a few minutes and while I didn't get a hug, she patted me on the arm when she first got here and as I was locking the door to leave (we left at the same time, but in different cars) she scratched me on the back with her claws (finger nails). She used to to that often, but hasn't in quite some time. She also called me Hon while she was here. She was running late to have breakfast with her best friend, but said she would be back later. Oh, she picked up some coupons I had cut out of the newspaper and she said she would go pick up that stuff for me.

Any way, she will be back later today and I got a phone call from a friend who wants us to come over for a BBQ today. I left her a voice mail, but have not heard back on whether she will go or not. I hope she does because it would be fun and our friend has a new house that we haven't seen yet. I plan on going, but I hope she goes with me.

My wife did seem a bit concerned this morning when I told her the pain woke me up twice last night and I could hardly roll out of bed this morning. She remembered back to a car wreck she was in back in 1993 and was telling me it will get worse for a few days before it gets better. She sternly told me to take it easy today and not over do it. That made me smile.

PH, I talk about giving her time/space and having patience.....I did NOT say it was easy to do! ;-)

Jawn

 

[seedling]

Yeah - like you guys could never play yourselves! You might have to be more hurt in the accident too, her kiss could bring you back to life :)

Sounds like you two are used to being affectionate, must be very difficult to know how to gauge that now esp. when you can miss it so much. Seems like she's really wanting to watch over you right now. It might be a good feeling for her.

Take care.

 

[amethist]

Hi Jawn

I am really sorry to read about your accident, glad you weren't hurt anymore than what you were too.

Like seedling, I too can see that you must have had a really close affectionate life together before PTSD invaded your lives. My husband and I were exactly the same before his accident, it then vanished for a long time. Thought we did not physically separate, emotional we did. It was like a sister and brother relationship for a very long time, but it is getting a lot better.

Oh and yes happy endings are defiantly possible. Not perfect and not the same as before, but happy yes.

Amethist

 

[Jawn]

Yeah she got here a little while ago and got mad at me for mowing the lawn. She also would NOT let me help her unload groceries out of her car. She doesn't want to go to the BBQ at our friends, but told me to go and she would deal with the dogs before heading back to her place. Oh, she also asked me if I wanted her to change the sheets on my bed. I thought about saying "only if you're going to sleep in them too", but I didn't. I just said yes. LOL

She told me she would come check on me tomorrow after she gets off work and I better be keeping quiet. Read, computer, pay bills, etc. No outside yard work or anything.

I am wondering what she and her best friend talked about over breakfast this morning, but I won't ask. Would have loved to be able to have heard the part about my accident and such. Oh well, I think she has shown her true feelings and I am pretty convinced that she will come home once she can get to her feelings all the time. Hopefully that won't take too long, but I will pray and do my best to be patient. Just be here for her if/when she reaches out to me.

Yes, we used to have a very affectionate relationship, but that started to fade several years ago and has been gone for almost 2 yrs now. I really miss that part.

Jawn

 

[Jawn]

I went to the BBQ last night and didn't get home until about 1 am. It was a lot of fun and our friend has a nice new house.....much better than where he lived before. Hmmm, maybe his fiance had some influence there? ;-)

I am very sore today and I got up and let the dogs out this morning, took another pain pill and went back to bed and didn't get up until Noon. I think I will listen to my wife's advice and stay quiet today. Not sure if mowing the lawn made me sore or if sitting around the backyard fire pit at my friends house did it. Well, probably a combination of both. My breakfast today was an order of biscuits and gravy that my wife brought home yesterday. That's what she and her friend had and she knows I like it too, so she got an order to go for me. It was yummy in my tummy! LOL

My wife will be coming by in a couple of hours which will be the highlight of my day.

Thanks,

Jawn

 

[Iam]

You can blame it on the accident..but we know....you're just getting old and can't recover from 1 am parties like you used to LOL! Seroiusly though, I am sorry you are hurting. Have fun visiting your wife tonight! Bob and I are splitting wood and restacking our woodpile. I'm organizing by size and type. Oh man do I know I'll be sore tomorrow! Take care Jawn.

 

[Jawn]

Lol! Thanks Iam. Well my wife was here for about 45 minutes late this afternoon. It was pleasant enough and she was making sure that I was staying fairly quiet. I told her I was more sore today than I was yesterday. We mostly talked about small stuff while she was here. She finally said something about going, so I walked out to her car with her. After she put her stuff in on the passenger side she came over to me and hugged me and told me to be careful driving tomorrow when I go to my regular doctor for a followup visit from the accident.

She brought back the 2 dogs she took with her yesterday and tonight she took my little dog with her. Maggie (the dog) was determined to go for a ride with "mom", so she took her. Not sure if she will bring her back tomorrow or later in the week. Not a big deal either way. She did ask me if I needed her to come out after work tomorrow since I have tomorrow off. I told her she didn't need to make the trip and I would get by, but she might be out anyway to bring Maggie back. We'll see on that.

She was saying "we" a lot today which made me smile. I have a lot to discuss with my T this week. I missed my appointment last Thursday due to the accident, so it will be nearly 3 weeks since my last session. I have a long list of stuff written down, but I'm not sure if most of it matters now since the accident and how my wife took care of me afterward.

I feel a lot better about a future with my wife, but I have to admit I was on the verge of tears as I watched her drive down the driveway. Sigh....patience Jawn, patience.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Patience is hard Jawn, but it is paying off ;o)

 

[Nicolette]

I know I'm late Jawn but I'm sorry to read about your car accident. It seems there is a upside to what happened with your wife showing you how much she carers which must help you keep positive. Wishing you both well.

 

[seedling]

Jawn,

When I said in my last post that for your wife, taking care of you might be a good feeling, I meant that the good feelings may be few and far between and this is a good one. I have times when feelings are so mixed up and confused and horrible I just can't feel right. But, give me a clear cut mission to help someone or do something I know is right and it just feels good - no analysis needed. Maybe for her, taking care of you is something that she can do and feel good about. It's not so complicated as the other parts of her feelings about herself and her relationship to you, nothing about it to bog her down, make her second guess herself etc..

I always take these things as a gift of clarity when they come for me, it's nice to not have every thing be complicated.

Take care.

 

[Jawn]

Thanks for the clarification seedling. Today she did not come out to the house because I told her she didn't need to. However, she called me twice to make sure that I didn't need her to come help with the dogs. She also asked during the last call if I was going to work tomorrow. I said yes and she told me to drive careful and to NOT take any pain med's before going to work. I wonder if maybe I should have told her to come out and help with the dogs. I didn't really need the help, but she did call and ask me twice today. Was that a hint that she really wanted to come out?

Any way, I went to my regular doctor today and the short story is my pain will disappear in 2-6 weeks. He offered me another RX for pain pills, but I declined. I will just make due with Advil when my current pills run out. I did OK today on just Advil. It was painful, but tolerable at least for me. I have been told before that I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. lol

I stopped at my wife's parents house today to borrow a tool from my FIL and had lunch with them. It was nice and my MIL told me that no matter what happens, I am still part of the family in her opinion. I told her that my wife and I were getting along better since she moved out and that I was pretty confident when she works through her issues, that she will come home to me. My MIL said "I hope so". My MIL also asked if I was on pain med's and needed them to drive me to my doctor. I guess everyone wants to take care of me right now. ;-)

It was a fairly good day today, but would have been better if I had seen my wife. At least she got a day with some "space" and didn't need to make the trip clear out to our house. Hopefully she was able to relax a bit tonight and maybe go to bed early too. Oh, she did call me Hon both times she called. It's nice to hear the pet names again. I hope that trend continues!

Jawn

 

[Jawn]

I came home early today and my wife was still here. I was surprised to see her in a t-shirt and sweat pants mowing the lawn. Then I remembered she still has clothes here. She got mad at me for mowing last Saturday, but she made sure to get the front yard mowed shorter today since I mowed it higher because it was tall and wet when I mowed. She also left a care package on the counter for me. As she was leaving she also gave me a hug. I still hate seeing her drive down the driveway, but I am enjoying all of the positive signs I am getting from her.

I got an email from my Sister-in-law today (my wife's OTHER sister.....they aren't very close) inviting me to Thanksgiving at her house. The parents said they are done hosting the holidays, so my SIL is doing Thanksgiving this year. In her email she said she missed putting me on the distribution list and had to call my wife to get my email address. She heard about my accident when they talked too. Any way, I spaced asking my wife about it tonight, but if she gave her sister my email address so I could be invited, I am going to guess that means she is including me in her mind as well. I do plan on asking her that specifically, but I think it was another good sign.

I had a great session with my T today and found out she was in the traffic back up from my accident. I told her about my wife rushing to the scene and she asked "was she driving a small white SUV down the shoulder of the road"? I said yes and she said she wondered who was driving down the shoulder past traffic and moving at a good pace too! Any way, kinda funny that my T was on the same road just a few minutes behind me when I had my accident.

I will chalk this up as another good day.

Jawn