Biggest Mistake Tdoc Ever Made

[digger]

That's exactly why this would not be allowed to happen in first place Albatross, that's exactly why.

I'm really confused by your posts @just keep swimming - what would not be allowed to happen in the first place? The phone call? Or the T handing Reds a teddy bear?

I'm struggling to see what you find so sinister in the T's actions.

 

[The Albatross]

You are harsh in saying Reds intrusive thinking is up to her!!! Have some therapy in the areas I have. My god.Rubber hits the road?? REALLY?? very final words Albatross. You think?

Call it what you like, but my own personal experience came down to having to separate my experiences based on my own perception of the person/people involved. Whether or not they were well intentioned. I began to chip away at the reactivity by examining and deciding that my spouse, my pastor, my mentor and my mother (though she has untreated behaviors) are well intentioned people.

My abusers? That was another story.

 

[just keep swimming]

Only fools rush in where angels fear to step

Why don't you get the numbers of your abusers Albatross, call them in your therapy sessions. If you think for a moment this is acceptable for a therapist to allow, try it yourself..

 

[digger]

Only fools rush in where angels fear to step

That doesn't really answer my question...

 

[just keep swimming]

The phone call digger 1.

I tell you what, why don't we all get the numbers of our abusers and give them a call in our therapy sessions. My good god I have heard of some things in therapy but this is top ten for me.

The fact that you guys can't understand that is well, beyond my understanding as a sever trauma patient of 8 and a half years.
read my introduction thread.

 

[digger]

I do find the phone call questionable, but I didn't really see that that wasn't what the OP was asking the question about. From what she has said it sounds like the phone call was her own idea and choice. I don't know enough of reds background to know whether confronting her abuser in that way would be a good idea, but from the post it doesn't sound like it was the T' s idea.

 

[just keep swimming]

Your reply to me does not make sense.

You think my reply does not make sense? What has this to do with what Reds is going through right now??? The T has made a huge mistake with allowing Reds to make this call in her sessions.. Now read Reds opening thread and try to put yourself in Reds shoes right now. The T did not know enough to let this call happen and even if she did this is not professional by miles and miles in England.

 

[cherryblossom]

@just keep swimming , if you have more to add to your last post before someone else has replied, please use the 'edit function', rather than writing several posts in a row, just minutes apart. (Forum flooding could be seen as spam). As such, I have merged several of your consecutive posts which were posted within minutes of each other.

 

[just keep swimming]

That makes no difference Digger 1. The T if trauma trained would not permit this to happen in any session. Look at the results and where Reds is now because of it.

 

[Reds]

@just keep swimming the phone was purely my idea. I told her I needed to confront my abuser and I would like her to be there for support. And I really appreciate that she let me call him and that she was there with me when I was falling apart after the call. Should I have done it on my own I wouldn't have had the strength to be well after the call. So I don't think she did anything wrong. I do not doubt her professionalism at all, I have been seeing her for about 8 months and she gets me. I don't think I would wanna lose this relationship over an honest mistake from her side.

@The Albatross yes there were positives from the session. It felt good that I confronted my abuser. The thread however is about the nightmare I am having due to the t giving me a teddy bear. She didn't mean any harm by it especially because she didn't know that bears are a trigger. When she saw my reaction she quickly gave me a pillow to hold on to.

From what everyone is saying I think I will let her know of the nightmare I keep having. I am seeing her on Monday and I will find a way of bringing it up

 

[Lucycat]

I one day asked her to help me confront my abuser and she agreed.

I cannot imagine my T agreeing to this. He would talk me out of it. But then he and I have discussed my abuser over the past 4 years and knows that I want no contact. If I changed my mind he would question the change in me and try to ensure this was not some impulse I might regret.

However. I am not Reds. I don't have Reds' past or experience. Reds asked for help and the therapist obliged. I don't think this is beyond the remit of professional therapy & I am in the UK too.

The thread is about the Teddy Bear. The therapist tried to soothe the client with the use of a cuddly toy. The therapist did not know that would distress the client. That does not make it unprofessional either. My T has upset me through something he said that related to an unknown in my past. I soon put him right, but I don't blame him for bringing up the topic. He simply did not know. In therapy we have an awful lot to learn about each other. If therapy is generally going well I think it is dangerous to throw away a good therapist with whom you have a good relationship just because of one simple misunderstanding.

I hear Reds' distress. It is understandable. I am sorry it happened. However the lesson has to be learnt for all parties, and then move on to the next stage of healing.

 

[Abstract]

It will be fine to let her know Red. Good luck. Very unfortunate the way that happened. :( Its annoying how hard it is to unstick something that gets stuck to the T through accident. Has happened to me too.

I understand that the only important thing here for you is find a way to separate your T from the abuse again. That noone needs to defend your T as you are not blaming her and just looking to find a way to move forward.